About this guy I work with. Another reason I want to leave

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About this guy I work with. Another reason I want to leave

Unread postby Crisis_Jay » 3 December 2018, 16:14

I mentioned him briefly in my first thread. I'd like to get some input on what may be going on.

He started there about a year ago. He's a little strange, breaks out in song once in a while and says the most random things, but he's extremely good looking so I admit I'm attracted. In his mid 30s, tall, well built. He also has a live-in girlfriend and 4 kids.

He started doing what I'd consider flirtatious things early on, like coming into my office and turning off the lights, saying the darkness makes him want to take off his clothes, pulling up his shirt, then giggling. It happened a few times. I was like, "This dude is nuts" but I let it slide because, well, I would have watched. lol. Then when I'm standing and he's crouched down doing whatever he'll look up and say things like, "No Jay, I won't suck your cock". When I ask why not he just gets quiet. He pressed his chest against my back when I was looking through something and had me pinned against the filing cabinet once, sometimes brushes his arm slowly over mine if he's getting something off my desk, talks about anal beads, sticking things in his butt, always says if I don't let him in the office he'll rape me, we should should both find someone to have a work affair with, he wants to punch me in the nuts with his tongue, etc. I could literally go on and on. I swear he talks about "cocks" more than any human being I've ever met in real life or seen in fiction. It's not a once in a while thing, but almost daily.

So, what could be going on here? Does he simply sound like an immature jokester, is he trying to make me feel strange because he suspects I'm gay, or could he be coming onto me? Being he's not single I wouldn't feel right attacking him, but after a year of what I'd consider sexual harassment I feel like making him feel as uncomfortable as I've been. I'm not sure how to handle the situation but it needs to be dealt with. Should I just ask him if he's bisexual and why he says those sorts of things, grab him by the crotch and see what he does, go to HR, or deal with it?

I feel like I need some sort of closure. It's bad enough being single for so long, and having someone like that fucking with you doesn't make things any better. He really couldn't go to HR on me if I decided to do something over-the-top to mess with him considering all the things he's said and done over the past year. And if he did I'm ready to quit anyway so whatever. lol
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Re: About this guy I work with. Another reason I want to leave

Unread postby xrayspex78 » 3 December 2018, 16:27

I wouldn’t put up with behavior like that. I’d say something like
“you have a smart mouth but it says a lot of stupid shit”

Laying hands on you. Haha yeah no! Be ready for some violence.

I always dish it back to guys. And if they are so damn sure and the cock of the walk. I say
“Don’t flatter yourself I have better taste in men than you” :lol:

Or I give the same right back.
Honestly it sounds like an extremely uncomfortable situation and getting HR involved is probably a wise move.

My two cents. That’s what I would do.
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Re: About this guy I work with. Another reason I want to leave

Unread postby Eryx » 3 December 2018, 16:53

Before going to HR I'd try to approach him and confront him about it. Does he do it for fun or does he have some sort of interest?

I'd only go to HR if he kept doing all that after I asked him to stop.
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Re: About this guy I work with. Another reason I want to leave

Unread postby Crisis_Jay » 3 December 2018, 16:54

xrayspex78 wrote:I wouldn’t put up with behavior like that. I’d say something like
“you have a smart mouth but it says a lot of stupid shit”

Laying hands on you. Haha yeah no! Be ready for some violence.

I always dish it back to guys. And if they are so damn sure and the cock of the walk. I say
“Don’t flatter yourself I have better taste in men than you” :lol:

Or I give the same right back.
Honestly it sounds like an extremely uncomfortable situation and getting HR involved is probably a wise move.

My two cents. That’s what I would do.

The HR thing would be kind of sketchy, although the correct course of action. He has family there and it could cause a bit of work drama. That is if he was crazy enough to tell them what's going on which I wouldn't doubt.

I guess I mildly dished it out a couple times. Not implying anything sexual with him, but casually talking about masturbation. He'd blush and shake his head. I was like, "Where'd the cocky sexual predator go"? If I said some of the hardcore shit he's said maybe he'll stop.

It's an extremely odd situation. I'm sort of thinking he has multiple personality disorder. He can act like completely different people when he comes to my department. I never know who will be at the door.
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Re: About this guy I work with. Another reason I want to leave

Unread postby Crisis_Jay » 3 December 2018, 16:58

Eryx wrote:Before going to HR I'd try to approach him and confront him about it. Does he do it for fun or does he have some sort of interest?

I'd only go to HR if he kept doing all that after I asked him to stop.

I honestly planned on asking him that more than once. But for some reason I chicken out when I see him. I did ask him what he's on when he says he'll rape me. He got very quiet for a few seconds and changed the subject. That's as far as it's gone as far as discussing it.
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