been to a gay bar?

Talk about anything and everything.

been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Martian » 6 June 2019, 21:24

I'm planning to visit one of the gay bars but I really dont know what it's like and the etiquette.

Also, I'm extremely shy and dont know how to overcome.

Do you have any suggestions? I literally know nothing about gay bars. what shoudl i be careful? how to overcome shynes? do I have to dance or sit? how to approach people, or how to reply when someone approaches. anything you can suggest is appreciated :heart:
User avatar
Martian
 
Posts: 84
+1s received: 15
Joined: 7 August 2016, 01:38
Country: Turkey (tr)

Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby erti » 6 June 2019, 21:53

I've been to a gay club/bar before. My experience there was pretty good other than getting kicked out early because someone started a fight with a couple of people I went with. Said he was an employee there but he was totally out of line. I was too drunk to know what was going on lol. But that was my experience. I figure no difference than going to a regular club or bar. Don't leave your drink unattended is a big one. There's perverts everywhere even in gay clubs/bar... dance with a few people... talk to a few people. drink... be merry... and most importantly be street smart... If someone makes you uncomfortable don't go anywhere alone with them.
User avatar
erti
 
Posts: 436
+1s received: 355
Joined: 30 November 2018, 09:58
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Country: United States (us)

Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Martian » 6 June 2019, 22:00

erti wrote:I've been to a gay club/bar before. My experience there was pretty good other than getting kicked out early because someone started a fight with a couple of people I went with. Said he was an employee there but he was totally out of line. I was too drunk to know what was going on lol. But that was my experience. I figure no difference than going to a regular club or bar. Don't leave your drink unattended is a big one. There's perverts everywhere even in gay clubs/bar... dance with a few people... talk to a few people. drink... be merry... and most importantly be street smart... If someone makes you uncomfortable don't go anywhere alone with them.


Thanks for the help. So there's a risk for having a fight I suppose. I dont know how to talk or dance to people. Also, I dont know how to dance haha. not good at it. Also it comes with shyness...
User avatar
Martian
 
Posts: 84
+1s received: 15
Joined: 7 August 2016, 01:38
Country: Turkey (tr)

Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby erti » 6 June 2019, 22:11

Well, going up to other men and meeting people in general takes a lot of guts when you're really shy. Sometimes they come to you but most of the time you gotta get out of your shell and talk to people. I was very shy, especially as a young child but I slowly over came it. In high school I took acting and other theatre classes to get out of my shell... and well it helped. Sometimes you make an ass of yourself... sometimes you even embarrass yourself. Often times you meet people who look pass that and want to be your friend because others who care about you making an ass of yourself and embarrassing yourself aren't exactly people you want in your life. Kinda filters out the bad and let in the good.
User avatar
erti
 
Posts: 436
+1s received: 355
Joined: 30 November 2018, 09:58
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Country: United States (us)

Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Martian » 6 June 2019, 22:20

erti wrote:Well, going up to other men and meeting people in general takes a lot of guts when you're really shy. Sometimes they come to you but most of the time you gotta get out of your shell and talk to people. I was very shy, especially as a young child but I slowly over came it. In high school I took acting and other theatre classes to get out of my shell... and well it helped. Sometimes you make an ass of yourself... sometimes you even embarrass yourself. Often times you meet people who look pass that and want to be your friend because others who care about you making an ass of yourself and embarrassing yourself aren't exactly people you want in your life. Kinda filters out the bad and let in the good.


im not quite shy in general but when it comes to ''these things''... haha. i dont even know what to say but im sure anything will work out if i have enough buts to talk :D
User avatar
Martian
 
Posts: 84
+1s received: 15
Joined: 7 August 2016, 01:38
Country: Turkey (tr)

Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby erti » 6 June 2019, 22:34

Martian wrote:
erti wrote:Well, going up to other men and meeting people in general takes a lot of guts when you're really shy. Sometimes they come to you but most of the time you gotta get out of your shell and talk to people. I was very shy, especially as a young child but I slowly over came it. In high school I took acting and other theatre classes to get out of my shell... and well it helped. Sometimes you make an ass of yourself... sometimes you even embarrass yourself. Often times you meet people who look pass that and want to be your friend because others who care about you making an ass of yourself and embarrassing yourself aren't exactly people you want in your life. Kinda filters out the bad and let in the good.


im not quite shy in general but when it comes to ''these things''... haha. i dont even know what to say but im sure anything will work out if i have enough buts to talk :D


Gay people are just like any other people. talk about your interest. Ask about them... nothing too personal... ask an icebreaker question.
User avatar
erti
 
Posts: 436
+1s received: 355
Joined: 30 November 2018, 09:58
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Country: United States (us)

Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Martian » 6 June 2019, 22:35

erti wrote:
Martian wrote:
erti wrote:Well, going up to other men and meeting people in general takes a lot of guts when you're really shy. Sometimes they come to you but most of the time you gotta get out of your shell and talk to people. I was very shy, especially as a young child but I slowly over came it. In high school I took acting and other theatre classes to get out of my shell... and well it helped. Sometimes you make an ass of yourself... sometimes you even embarrass yourself. Often times you meet people who look pass that and want to be your friend because others who care about you making an ass of yourself and embarrassing yourself aren't exactly people you want in your life. Kinda filters out the bad and let in the good.


im not quite shy in general but when it comes to ''these things''... haha. i dont even know what to say but im sure anything will work out if i have enough buts to talk :D


Gay people are just like any other people. talk about your interest. Ask about them... nothing too personal... ask an icebreaker question.


my last question is about shyness :( how can I handle this?
User avatar
Martian
 
Posts: 84
+1s received: 15
Joined: 7 August 2016, 01:38
Country: Turkey (tr)

Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby erti » 6 June 2019, 22:42

I thought I answered that already... you just got to put yourself out there. Be social and get out of that box of yours.
User avatar
erti
 
Posts: 436
+1s received: 355
Joined: 30 November 2018, 09:58
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Country: United States (us)

Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Jryski » 6 June 2019, 22:52

When I went by myself I just sat there and drank by myself until someone came up and offered to buy me a drink or something. If youre at a club, guys naturally will start dancing with you when you dance so iuno. Just have fun with it I guess? Reply like you would a friend. Be friendly, smile, bite your lips a little and open your eyes wide to stare into their eyes aggressively.
User avatar
Jryski
 
Posts: 241
+1s received: 110
Joined: 6 May 2019, 10:00

Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Martian » 6 June 2019, 23:03

Jryski wrote:When I went by myself I just sat there and drank by myself until someone came up and offered to buy me a drink or something. If youre at a club, guys naturally will start dancing with you when you dance so iuno. Just have fun with it I guess? Reply like you would a friend. Be friendly, smile, bite your lips a little and open your eyes wide to stare into their eyes aggressively.


I think in Turkey most of them are clubs rather than bars. So, I dont like dancing but I dont know what to do? and I dont know if it wouldnt be strange to go next to somebody and start dancing.
User avatar
Martian
 
Posts: 84
+1s received: 15
Joined: 7 August 2016, 01:38
Country: Turkey (tr)

Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Jryski » 7 June 2019, 01:47

When you have enough alcohol in your system you wont find anything strange. I just dance by myself or with friends and people start moving towards me lol
User avatar
Jryski
 
Posts: 241
+1s received: 110
Joined: 6 May 2019, 10:00

Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Eryx » 7 June 2019, 15:27

My theory is almost no one likes dancing when sober lol

If you drink alcohol, go there and drink some alcohol. You might not want to dance at first, so just stay at the bar and check out your surroundings, it will calm you down and meanwhile the alcohol will do its thing. Even then, you don't have to dance. You can keep paying attention to other guys and the ambience.

If someone's interested in you, they will let you know by staring at you, coming closer and striking up a conversation. It's okay to be shy, as long as you don't ignore the other guy or give him one-word answers lol. Drinking also helps here.

If you're not interested, it's OKAY to say "Sorry, I'm not interested." No one gets offended, so don't be afraid and don't do something you didn't want to do just because you don't want to let the guy down.

And being rejected is also normal. It's not the end of the world and you don't need to feel embarrassed. EVERYONE goes through it. Just keep your head up and enjoy yourself.

As for fights, they're way less common than in straight clubs, but yeah, it can happen. Just try not to spill your drinks on anyone and you'll be fine hahah
Image

Image Image

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.
— Harlan Ellison
User avatar
Eryx
 
Posts: 1661
+1s received: 717
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:48
Location: Belo Horizonte, MG
Country: Brazil (br)


Recently active
Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot], CommonCrawl [Bot], Courage, oreos52, poolerboy0077, Prince_G_24, rogonandi, Yandex [Bot] and 55 guests