been to a gay bar?

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been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Martian » 6 June 2019, 21:24

I'm planning to visit one of the gay bars but I really dont know what it's like and the etiquette.

Also, I'm extremely shy and dont know how to overcome.

Do you have any suggestions? I literally know nothing about gay bars. what shoudl i be careful? how to overcome shynes? do I have to dance or sit? how to approach people, or how to reply when someone approaches. anything you can suggest is appreciated :heart:
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby erti » 6 June 2019, 21:53

I've been to a gay club/bar before. My experience there was pretty good other than getting kicked out early because someone started a fight with a couple of people I went with. Said he was an employee there but he was totally out of line. I was too drunk to know what was going on lol. But that was my experience. I figure no difference than going to a regular club or bar. Don't leave your drink unattended is a big one. There's perverts everywhere even in gay clubs/bar... dance with a few people... talk to a few people. drink... be merry... and most importantly be street smart... If someone makes you uncomfortable don't go anywhere alone with them.
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Martian » 6 June 2019, 22:00

erti wrote:I've been to a gay club/bar before. My experience there was pretty good other than getting kicked out early because someone started a fight with a couple of people I went with. Said he was an employee there but he was totally out of line. I was too drunk to know what was going on lol. But that was my experience. I figure no difference than going to a regular club or bar. Don't leave your drink unattended is a big one. There's perverts everywhere even in gay clubs/bar... dance with a few people... talk to a few people. drink... be merry... and most importantly be street smart... If someone makes you uncomfortable don't go anywhere alone with them.


Thanks for the help. So there's a risk for having a fight I suppose. I dont know how to talk or dance to people. Also, I dont know how to dance haha. not good at it. Also it comes with shyness...
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby erti » 6 June 2019, 22:11

Well, going up to other men and meeting people in general takes a lot of guts when you're really shy. Sometimes they come to you but most of the time you gotta get out of your shell and talk to people. I was very shy, especially as a young child but I slowly over came it. In high school I took acting and other theatre classes to get out of my shell... and well it helped. Sometimes you make an ass of yourself... sometimes you even embarrass yourself. Often times you meet people who look pass that and want to be your friend because others who care about you making an ass of yourself and embarrassing yourself aren't exactly people you want in your life. Kinda filters out the bad and let in the good.
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Martian » 6 June 2019, 22:20

erti wrote:Well, going up to other men and meeting people in general takes a lot of guts when you're really shy. Sometimes they come to you but most of the time you gotta get out of your shell and talk to people. I was very shy, especially as a young child but I slowly over came it. In high school I took acting and other theatre classes to get out of my shell... and well it helped. Sometimes you make an ass of yourself... sometimes you even embarrass yourself. Often times you meet people who look pass that and want to be your friend because others who care about you making an ass of yourself and embarrassing yourself aren't exactly people you want in your life. Kinda filters out the bad and let in the good.


im not quite shy in general but when it comes to ''these things''... haha. i dont even know what to say but im sure anything will work out if i have enough buts to talk :D
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby erti » 6 June 2019, 22:34

Martian wrote:
erti wrote:Well, going up to other men and meeting people in general takes a lot of guts when you're really shy. Sometimes they come to you but most of the time you gotta get out of your shell and talk to people. I was very shy, especially as a young child but I slowly over came it. In high school I took acting and other theatre classes to get out of my shell... and well it helped. Sometimes you make an ass of yourself... sometimes you even embarrass yourself. Often times you meet people who look pass that and want to be your friend because others who care about you making an ass of yourself and embarrassing yourself aren't exactly people you want in your life. Kinda filters out the bad and let in the good.


im not quite shy in general but when it comes to ''these things''... haha. i dont even know what to say but im sure anything will work out if i have enough buts to talk :D


Gay people are just like any other people. talk about your interest. Ask about them... nothing too personal... ask an icebreaker question.
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Martian » 6 June 2019, 22:35

erti wrote:
Martian wrote:
erti wrote:Well, going up to other men and meeting people in general takes a lot of guts when you're really shy. Sometimes they come to you but most of the time you gotta get out of your shell and talk to people. I was very shy, especially as a young child but I slowly over came it. In high school I took acting and other theatre classes to get out of my shell... and well it helped. Sometimes you make an ass of yourself... sometimes you even embarrass yourself. Often times you meet people who look pass that and want to be your friend because others who care about you making an ass of yourself and embarrassing yourself aren't exactly people you want in your life. Kinda filters out the bad and let in the good.


im not quite shy in general but when it comes to ''these things''... haha. i dont even know what to say but im sure anything will work out if i have enough buts to talk :D


Gay people are just like any other people. talk about your interest. Ask about them... nothing too personal... ask an icebreaker question.


my last question is about shyness :( how can I handle this?
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby erti » 6 June 2019, 22:42

I thought I answered that already... you just got to put yourself out there. Be social and get out of that box of yours.
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Jryski » 6 June 2019, 22:52

When I went by myself I just sat there and drank by myself until someone came up and offered to buy me a drink or something. If youre at a club, guys naturally will start dancing with you when you dance so iuno. Just have fun with it I guess? Reply like you would a friend. Be friendly, smile, bite your lips a little and open your eyes wide to stare into their eyes aggressively.
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Martian » 6 June 2019, 23:03

Jryski wrote:When I went by myself I just sat there and drank by myself until someone came up and offered to buy me a drink or something. If youre at a club, guys naturally will start dancing with you when you dance so iuno. Just have fun with it I guess? Reply like you would a friend. Be friendly, smile, bite your lips a little and open your eyes wide to stare into their eyes aggressively.


I think in Turkey most of them are clubs rather than bars. So, I dont like dancing but I dont know what to do? and I dont know if it wouldnt be strange to go next to somebody and start dancing.
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Jryski » 7 June 2019, 01:47

When you have enough alcohol in your system you wont find anything strange. I just dance by myself or with friends and people start moving towards me lol
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Eryx » 7 June 2019, 15:27

My theory is almost no one likes dancing when sober lol

If you drink alcohol, go there and drink some alcohol. You might not want to dance at first, so just stay at the bar and check out your surroundings, it will calm you down and meanwhile the alcohol will do its thing. Even then, you don't have to dance. You can keep paying attention to other guys and the ambience.

If someone's interested in you, they will let you know by staring at you, coming closer and striking up a conversation. It's okay to be shy, as long as you don't ignore the other guy or give him one-word answers lol. Drinking also helps here.

If you're not interested, it's OKAY to say "Sorry, I'm not interested." No one gets offended, so don't be afraid and don't do something you didn't want to do just because you don't want to let the guy down.

And being rejected is also normal. It's not the end of the world and you don't need to feel embarrassed. EVERYONE goes through it. Just keep your head up and enjoy yourself.

As for fights, they're way less common than in straight clubs, but yeah, it can happen. Just try not to spill your drinks on anyone and you'll be fine hahah
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 3 July 2019, 21:21

My suggestion is to set a goal that is 100% achievable. For example, I'll go to a gay bar, stay at least x amount of time and drink at least Y amount of drinks, check out the scene just to see what it's like and leave. Plan the time of day you'll be the most comfortable. My first gay bar visit was at around 5PM and let's just say the crowd was not hopping. LoL. I did that intentionally. I don't care much for a really crowded environment and some can pick up that vibe. Now that bar is my hang spot. I go any time of day. Feel at home in a way. If I don't find someone to talk to after a couple beers I just pick up and leave. Ok, sometimes I stay for a couple more but that generally that is when I'm in my "I drink alone" mood. So saying and not having any conversations fits that mood. Then figure out your next baby step.

Hey, I told others if you can pull off the cute and shy thing then play that for what it's worth. Otherwise, buck up and go for it. Just make sure to take baby steps and have reasonable expectations. Worse case is your'll find a gay bar you like to go have a couple drinks at and somehow just feel better.
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Martian » 3 July 2019, 23:02

mxguy01 wrote:My suggestion is to set a goal that is 100% achievable. For example, I'll go to a gay bar, stay at least x amount of time and drink at least Y amount of drinks, check out the scene just to see what it's like and leave. Plan the time of day you'll be the most comfortable. My first gay bar visit was at around 5PM and let's just say the crowd was not hopping. LoL. I did that intentionally. I don't care much for a really crowded environment and some can pick up that vibe. Now that bar is my hang spot. I go any time of day. Feel at home in a way. If I don't find someone to talk to after a couple beers I just pick up and leave. Ok, sometimes I stay for a couple more but that generally that is when I'm in my "I drink alone" mood. So saying and not having any conversations fits that mood. Then figure out your next baby step.

Hey, I told others if you can pull off the cute and shy thing then play that for what it's worth. Otherwise, buck up and go for it. Just make sure to take baby steps and have reasonable expectations. Worse case is your'll find a gay bar you like to go have a couple drinks at and somehow just feel better.


Thank you so much!! :) I actually set a goal but my goal was a baby step. My goal was to go there and just sit and watch. I never set a goal for drinking and stayin time. I came home at 2am and drank a lot though :D . I was comfortable indeed. Once you get into the club, you feel ok.
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 3 July 2019, 23:19

There you go. Now, what next? Actually speak to someone. Even just some comment like "it's cold in here", "it's hot in here", something benign and innocuous. Best if it doesn't actually require a response. See, achievable because we don't require a response for success. You might just be pretty surprised how far that gets you. Oh, and if someone does that to you, catch the freaking hint and talk back. Even if your not actually interested in the guy. Hold the conversation for as long as you want then do as you please, like dump and run. Not only are you not for everyone, everyone is not for you.
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Jryski » 4 July 2019, 09:49

Walk up to the best lookin guy there and shove him out of the way. When he says something to you, look at him and smirk. Say something like, oh hey! Didnt see you there. Are you lookin for a stud? I got the std and all I need is u.
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Catatonic » 4 July 2019, 10:14

Martian wrote:my last question is about shyness :( how can I handle this?

Vodka and cocaine.
Broken.
Rise above.
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby René » 6 July 2019, 20:32

Jryski wrote:When I went by myself I just sat there and drank by myself until someone came up and offered to buy me a drink or something. If youre at a club, guys naturally will start dancing with you when you dance so iuno. Just have fun with it I guess? Reply like you would a friend. Be friendly, smile, bite your lips a little and open your eyes wide to stare into their eyes aggressively.

But not too aggressively.
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby Martian » 7 July 2019, 00:02

René wrote:
Jryski wrote:When I went by myself I just sat there and drank by myself until someone came up and offered to buy me a drink or something. If youre at a club, guys naturally will start dancing with you when you dance so iuno. Just have fun with it I guess? Reply like you would a friend. Be friendly, smile, bite your lips a little and open your eyes wide to stare into their eyes aggressively.

But not too aggressively.


nobody would wanna scare them off :D :devil:
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Re: been to a gay bar?

Unread postby rogonandi » 7 July 2019, 06:40

All you have to do is take a swipe at the dominant male and knock that monkey down. The rest of them will duly drop trousers and bare their bright red asses for you to assess and select for breeding purposes.

This was not what I did when I went to a gay bar, because I wasn’t interested in asserting dominance. All I did was have a few drinks with friends, and other non-ape things.
People love to follow fools; they don't feel so alone then.

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