Considering military service - your thoughts?

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Considering military service - your thoughts?

Unread postby ShutUpAndBeHappy » 27 November 2021, 19:23


I hope you all are doing well.

I have reached an interesting place in my life. I'm financially independent and can take care of myself. I've just finished my masters degree and got a nice raise at work because of it, a lot of jobs and opportunities are available to me now that just weren't before. My first relationship lasted two years - though I should have ended it at least after the first year, I learned a lot about myself that I'll carry into future relationships, so I'm glad about that. I'm at a point in my life where I have pretty much accomplished the things I set out to do when I graduated from undergrad at age 22, I am proud.

I'm sort of left looking around, wondering what's next.

One thing I know for sure, is that I need to get out of my home town. I am still here. This place is going downhill, fast. The biggest reason I want to GTFO is because there just isn't a gay scene here of any kind. The pool of guys on grindr is incredibly small, but that is where you have to go. It's basically impossible to meet guys if you don't use apps.

The thing that broke my last relationship was that he had so many issues about sexuality. I tried to help with these issues but he wouldn't address them. We had sex about five times over the relationship. Most times he had to be blindfolded, all the lights had to be off, and he couldn't feel like I was looking at him or we had to stop. It was ridiculous. Most boring sex ever, I was only ever able to cum with him once. My dick is bigger than average and he said that was the issue - he really had no sexual energy at all and eventually he just told me we weren't going to do anything anymore (that was about 6 months into the relationship).

I really want to find someone I can have regular sex with and it not be bad. I want that so much. It worries me that I'm approaching my 30s and I still can't just find a guy to fuck. There are so few on grindr who I'm into and the pool is so small.

I'm very frustrated by my prospects in my home town - in terms of career, relationships, sex, etc. There is just nothing for me here.

I can save to move, only it's going to take me at least a year of saving. But I could find a job in my field and move across the country to a more progressive, happening city where (hopefully) there are lots of gay spaces. I want to visit a gay bar, go to a sauna, pick up a guy at a club, etc.

A new idea came into my head over the pandemic when I was basically trapped with my ex. My father was in the Navy. Naval service has always really interested me. I have never been outside the US - only been to different states a couple of times. This basically planted a seed in my mind and since then, I've been heavily researching this and weighing the pros/cons.

Obviously I am overqualified to enlist. But I want to anyway. Have a hands-on job on the ship, take tours of foreign countries when the ship makes port. My friends in the Navy have told me there are a lot of gay guys, and when you're on shore duty and not deployed (essentially working 9-5) you can pretty much find a guy whenever you want as long as you have somewhere to bring them.

My plan is to enlist in the Navy for one contract (4yrs) to make some friends, see something, and have some experiences. Then settle in a coastal state and get back to my civilian career field after my service.

Downside is that in the military, I would have very little control over my life while I'm in. The hours on deployment are very long, and lower enlisted are treated like dirt the first couple years until they earn their crows as Petty Officers.

I'm feeling that I won't be young forever, and I want to make the best of the rest of my life. I spend a lot of years working on my education, helping my mom and dad (both fucking messes of people). Now that I'm at a point where I can really do anything, I'm seriously considering making this jump.

I'm really thinking this is the direction I want to go, but I'd like to ask for opinions here.
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Re: Considering military service - your thoughts?

Unread postby pozzie » 27 November 2021, 21:14

So, the way you put it, seems it's a choice between A) Staying put where you grew up and find out how deep of a rut you can get into, B) Saving for a year and relocating (with hope the job market will still be robust, C) Join the navy and try not to think about the Village People song.

I'm anything but an authority on the military and clearly it's been evolving. One important thing you didn't mention is the possibility of being deployed to a region of conflict, so it's not without risk. If you truly are over-qualified, have you asked about the navy's version of officer or specialty training)? No idea it it would be your thing or even a good move, but it might be a different experience. Either way, boot camp is about knocking a bit of that pride out of you, so if that's a goal...

Not going to say the navy is a good or bad choice, but like you say, you're commitment is for four years. It will seem like a long time initially, but it can offer stable career options or OTJ training that can make it easier to relocate and find work. However, who knows what the world will look like in four years.

If you're not feeling convinced that it's the right thing for you to do, then spend some time and energy figuring out where else you might like to live. Depending on your field, you could apply for some jobs, and maybe someone will fly you out for a final interview. If they really like you and your background, they might even help you relocate. But it's hard to say what the job market will be like in a year or two and honestly, only the military can offer "job security" for any length of time.

Those are the immediate thoughts that come up. Surely others will view it differently and share their thoughts and ideas. You could easily spend the next few months sorting through the options: it doesn't seem like you need to rush.
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Re: Considering military service - your thoughts?

Unread postby PopTart » 27 November 2021, 23:15

I can't offer much insight into the US navy. Or any branch of any nations military, beyond the experiences of some family and friends who have joined the forces here.

Specifically, my nephew, who did a couple tours with the Royal Navy and loved it for the most part. He was posted on an old destroyer, that spent time patrolling the Caribbean, between trips across the Atlantic. He often spoke of training with other nations crews (Americans, who he said were well equipped but arrogant :lol: and Russians, who were poorly disciplined and who kept trying to sneak away from the British watchers, for laughs, or possibly espionage :shrug: ) He also did a tour in the med and over to the Persian Gulf.

But it wasn't all great. The majority of his two periods of service were spent on that one ship under a senior officer he liked and with a crew he knew well.

Towards the middle part of his second tour he was transfered to a newer vessel, with a commanding officer who took a disliking to him. His new crew mates were also well established prior to his arrival (as opposed to the crew on the previous vessel, which many came aboard at the same time) He struggled to get along there and desperately wanted to leave, he was so unhappy.

What is pertinent in this second hand accounting, is that his experience was so heavily dependant on factors outside of his control. He didn't get to choose his posting, when the posting worked out well, he was happy but when it didn't he really wasnt and there was very little he could do about it.

I will say he benefited enormously from the discipline and training he received, he has some great stories he shares and has seen alot of places and things, most of us haven't.

He related an incident, in which, while on patrol, their ship came across weed smugglers in the caribbean, tons of the stuff in a ships hold. The order of the day was to destroy the smuggled narcotics.... by means of buring the smugglers ship at sea. Apparantly the majority of the crew came up to the prow of the ship to witness the event and by the grace of fortune (and to the crews delight) the winds blew the thick smoke towards the deck of the Royal navy ship. By all accounts, had the vessel been attacked that afternoon, the British crews response may well have been quite... relaxed. :monocle:

If you can face the prospect of commiting 4 years of your life, to effectively being at the whim of other people and and their purposes, you think you could take the hard discipline and regimented lifestyle and could endure tense interpersonal relationships, being posted with people you may not like or respect or who may not like or respect you. Then I can see benefits, including the ones you list, to joining up.

That said, if your primary motivation, is that you want more cock and a wider community to belong too.... there are easier and safer means of going about it and military service isn't a small commitment. It's very much a lifestyle. You don't get to go home at the end of everyday and even on your days off, you're still on duty to an extent.

You speak of needing to save for a year, but is that really needed to start afresh in another city? Because thousands of migrants (both the legal and illegal kinds!) fling themselves across the globe, with very little more, than the clothes on their backs, yet they managed to find new homes and set down roots fairly quickly.

Do you really need to save for a year? Or could you make that change you need and desire so desperately, by compromising on standard of living in the short term?

I spent some of the best years of my life, saving like a sonofabitch and not doing much of anything else. to get a mortgage and buy my own place. It has been worth it, but I do look back on those "hollow" years with some regret. So I do understand your reluctance to wait around.

If your sure of your navy plan, why are you seeking further opinions? Unless your not so sure?
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