Did GTF merge?

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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby stuff » 25 September 2020, 03:17

Oh shit, I don't think I knew that. I'm pretty sure I know who the other kid was. Although now I forget his last name, and I can't find him on facebook anymore. I can't help but be curious what exactly he did.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby stuff » 25 September 2020, 03:25

I suppose we shouldn't be gossiping about a tragedy like that though. I do regret that he and I never met in person. I don't know why we didn't even consider hooking up at least once. We were both lonely horny gay teens with literally no other out gay kids in our school and no way to have any sexual experience. Maybe he wasn't really into me like that.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby acpro » 25 September 2020, 03:59

When Insey was alive, and I joined, I didn't post much. It was around that time that MeWithOutYou posted and Stapler posted a lot if anyone remembers them. I joined when was I about 15 or 16 which must have been 2000 or 2001. I would come home from school and read the forum and then immediately tell myself I wasn't gay lol. I remember, I post only a few times, and I was probably drunk at the time when I posted, when Insey was alive. That would have been 2003-2005. I remember I was super scared of him. To be honest, he was a nice guy in that he created the forum, but he ruled it with an iron fist.

To put it simply, he was a bully, He called people ugly, fat, and other hurtful names on the regular. I remember thinking at the time he would be responsible for someone elses' suicide. I remember once when MeWithoutYou hadn't posted for awhile and someone asked how he was, Insey stated he sadly died from a drug overdose, which wasn't true at all. MeWithoutYou is alive and happily married to a woman. I know because he overshared like hell and he has a really easily memortable name and I looked him up on FB a few years ago. i never actually talked to MeWithoutYou because I think he posted during the time that Insey was sort of mean--and I was afraid to post. Don't get me wrong - he was nice to certain people but usually it was only cute guys.

Once college started for me I posted a little bit around 2005. But I didn't really start posting a lot until I graduated college in like 2009-2010. Before that I was just so busy with school and my social life at the time, I only watched from afar, posting sportatically here in there. I also think I had a alt account I may have posted in around 2005--but of course I cannot remember the username.

The few times I did post and Insey was alive and acknowledged me he was nice - so I do have to say that. But how he dealt with other people really put a bad taste in my mouth--that I still have almost 20 years later. If anyone has access to the chat back then, like Rene, I'm sure he knows what I mean, if he has scrolled through it.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby acpro » 25 September 2020, 04:01

stuff wrote:I suppose we shouldn't be gossiping about a tragedy like that though. I do regret that he and I never met in person. I don't know why we didn't even consider hooking up at least once. We were both lonely horny gay teens with literally no other out gay kids in our school and no way to have any sexual experience. Maybe he wasn't really into me like that.


He was really into twinks if I remember correctly.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby stuff » 25 September 2020, 04:06

I guess I don't really remember him being mean like that, but maybe he was and I just didn't think much of it at the time. He was nice enough to me.

Speaking of guys he liked, there was one guy in my grade who he used to talk about a lot, who he either had a crush on or thought was really hot. I found out about 6 years ago that this guy was gay, and I was kind of shocked. I had never even considered that about him. So once I saw him on grindr and messaged him, and we talked for a few hours reminiscing. He actually didn't realize he was gay until towards the end of college I guess, and came out after. Now he's gayer than I am.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby acpro » 25 September 2020, 04:14

stuff wrote:I guess I don't really remember him being mean like that, but maybe he was and I just didn't think much of it at the time. He was nice enough to me.

Speaking of guys he liked, there was one guy in my grade who he used to talk about a lot, who he either had a crush on or thought was really hot. I found out about 6 years ago that this guy was gay, and I was kind of shocked. I had never even considered that about him. So once I saw him on grindr and messaged him, and we talked for a few hours reminiscing. He actually didn't realize he was gay until towards the end of college I guess, and came out after. Now he's gayer than I am.


That's funny how things work out like that. I guess Insey's gaydar was pretty spot on lol.

Ahhh I can't believe you don't remember how mean he was. He was never mean to me only because I didn't give him the ability to be lol. But he was super mean. If his messages are archived I'm sure it would be obvious. He is the one that sort of set the atmosphere for like "free speech" and "anything goes" which I liked. But I didn't like that it also protected just straight up rude-ness. Beyond rude, like I said, I was afraid he would cause someone else to kill themselves. That was a real fear of mine and contributed to my silence. I didn't want my name involved in papers if it was ever published.

I was super in the closet at the time and paranoid. Dude, when Insey killed himself, even tho I barely was active at the time, I can still remember where I was when I found out. It's almost like a JFK or 9/11 memory where everyone remembers where they were when it happened. I was so scared I was somehow like too involved with this gay forum lol. I was so stupid back then loll.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby stuff » 25 September 2020, 04:17

I think my perception of it at the time was probably different from yours. Either that or I just completely forgot?

And actually I don't think he had any idea that this guy was gay back then either.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby acpro » 25 September 2020, 04:26

stuff wrote:I think my perception of it at the time was probably different from yours. Either that or I just completely forgot?

And actually I don't think he had any idea that this guy was gay back then either.


You couldn't have missed it--he was nice to some people. He was probably nice to you because he knew you. I was super lonely at the time (gay-wise) so I spent A LOT of time on the forum. I probably noticed his anger towards other people more than others. I am super sensitive to begin with. But from an objective you, if his messages are archived, I promise, after the first year he was super mean.

I do remember looking at his post history a few times (I had a lot of time on my hands when I was 16 lol), when the forum just started, and seeing that he was nice to everyone...when the forum was just beginning to gain traction. And you stated earlier that he messaged you on another forum to recruit you. By the time I was there he probably didn't need to recruit people. His forum was one of the first results in google for gay forums. I remember seeing a distinct change in personality. So I think in the first year he was pretty nice to everyone and as the forum gained traction he evolved to be meaner and meaner as months and years went by. I think an archive will support this if we have one. There was def a distinct change in his personality from when the forum was created and when it had become more popular.

I actually saw a few changes in his personality. By the time he died he was super paranoid and always talking about law enforcement and a crime(s) he supposedly committed and how he was dealing with multiple charges. He made the charges sound like life changing, felonies, not like an underage drinking charges or trespassing. I thought at first he made it up to just sound tough and he had baggage but now I have no idea.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby stuff » 25 September 2020, 04:34

I didn't find out about it until 2004. I never knew that it went all the way back to 2000 or 2001. I don't know why I just assumed it was fairly new at the time. I either completely forgot everything, or I was only on occasionally by 2006. I only ever just heard that he had died from my friend, and it came out of nowhere to me.

It sounds like all of the posts from back then have been lost, though.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby acpro » 25 September 2020, 05:13

Crap maybe my years are mixed up but I think they're right. If they're wrong, it's prob just +2 years for whatever I said. But I graduated in 2004 and I remember being a lurker on that forum probably at least a year before that. So Maybe 2003-2004. Shit I don't know anymore.

I was a freshman in college when he died which was 2004-2005.

EDIT: This will help narrow down the timeline because this isn't so much subjective. Do you remember him speaking about legal difficulties? If so, I remember that leading up to the last year of his life.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby wizid » 25 September 2020, 13:34

acpro wrote:To put it simply, he was a bully, He called people ugly, fat, and other hurtful names on the regular. I remember thinking at the time he would be responsible for someone elses' suicide. I remember once when MeWithoutYou hadn't posted for awhile and someone asked how he was,


He was pretty racist too. He reminded me of a small town rich kid - pretentious, entitled, and an asshole - but like you said, he made the forum, and the forum was beneficial to me.


I remember Stapler.

Also - JayFairplay - was trying to remember that name last night when I noted Shawn & Frosty.
Words dazzle and deceive because they are mimed by the face. But black words on a white page are the soul laid bare. - Guy de Maupassant
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby acpro » 25 September 2020, 14:00

wizid wrote:
acpro wrote:To put it simply, he was a bully, He called people ugly, fat, and other hurtful names on the regular. I remember thinking at the time he would be responsible for someone elses' suicide. I remember once when MeWithoutYou hadn't posted for awhile and someone asked how he was,


He was pretty racist too. He reminded me of a small town rich kid - pretentious, entitled, and an asshole - but like you said, he made the forum, and the forum was beneficial to me.


I remember Stapler.

Also - JayFairplay - was trying to remember that name last night when I noted Shawn & Frosty.


Yes, I remember the racism too, ugh.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby stuff » 25 September 2020, 14:49

I guess I forgot the racism too. Maybe I was too self-centered at the time to pay much attention to it.

We’re from a middle to upper-middle class suburb, and I don’t think his family is rich exactly, just middle class. I think he was probably kind of a not too popular, kind of lonely kid who spent a lot of his time online, maybe acting in a way he didn’t really act in real life. But I’m only speculating since we never interacted offline.

The only thing I remember hearing about him in school was a rumor that he was the one who started the forum about the school, which he denied when I asked him.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby René » 25 September 2020, 18:19

acpro wrote:I think an archive will support this if we have one.

Not creating some kind of backup of everything that was accessible to me* on the original site is one of my biggest regrets in life, actually. :lol:

*There was always stuff the admins at the time wouldn't let me access, except for this one time in probably early 2007 before I was even made a moderator, when Justin thought I was spending a little too much time keeping tabs on everyone's activity (mainly watching for new posts being made so I could pounce and reply :lol: that forum was my life at the time tbh) on the Who's Online page.

Justin meant to take away my ability to access that page. What he did by accident was give me access to every single hidden subforum on the entire site.

As I recall, besides the usual staff section and stuff like that, there was a hidden subforum dedicated to stuff related to Jordan/Insey/CockMaster, including a lot of old threads created by him, references to illegal/questionable activity, perhaps (predatory) interactions with minors, perhaps evidence of attempts to obtain photos of minors... my memory of this is quite vague, and Justin pretty quickly realised his mistake (ironically probably by looking at the Who's Online list himself and seeing me browsing those sections no one was supposed to know existed) and corrected it, so I didn't have a lot of time to look around. :P
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby René » 25 September 2020, 18:24

wizid wrote:Yeah, he did something foolish, he was having drama with another kid from school and he solidly crossed that line of what's typically defensible of "boys will be boys" and "kids do dumb shit" and it looked like there wasn't any way he wasn't going to spend some time locked up somewhere and he did not want to do that - which frankly I can understand.

If I ever have to go to jail/prison, I feel like I'll do a lot of reading and meditating and try to come out better than I went in. Not a complete disaster... unless it's for ages I guess, which it sounds like it would have been in this case. :runaway:
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby stuff » 25 September 2020, 19:40

René wrote:As I recall, besides the usual staff section and stuff like that, there was a hidden subforum dedicated to stuff related to Jordan/Insey/CockMaster, including a lot of old threads created by him, references to illegal/questionable activity, perhaps (predatory) interactions with minors, perhaps evidence of attempts to obtain photos of minors... my memory of this is quite vague, and Justin pretty quickly realised his mistake (ironically probably by looking at the Who's Online list himself and seeing me browsing those sections no one was supposed to know existed) and corrected it, so I didn't have a lot of time to look around. :P


I had access to the one that had photos of minors, which included some of my own, as I was a minor at the time. And at the time I came in, I was 17, which means Insey had to be 15-16. Yeah it was technically illegal, but I’m not sure what was or wasn’t predatory since he was also a minor for most of that time. He had to be only 18 or 19 when he died. Of course I didn’t have access to other secret sub forums so I don’t know what was going on in other ones. I didn’t even realize there were other ones, although now I feel like I should have assumed there might be.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby acpro » 26 September 2020, 02:53

wizid wrote:Yeah, he did something foolish, he was having drama with another kid from school and he solidly crossed that line of what's typically defensible of "boys will be boys" and "kids do dumb shit" and it looked like there wasn't any way he wasn't going to spend some time locked up somewhere and he did not want to do that - which frankly I can understand.



Whooaaa I do not remember that part. I remember him repeatedly, about a year leading up to his death talking about the law, almost boasting about it, like it was a badge of honor...maybe not so much a badge of honor, but that he was "hardcore" and not in the sexual sense, but in the real life sense. I never knew what he meant but it was clear, as you said, he might spend time in prison, if convicted. Which is one of the reasons, when he died, it was such a huge imprint on my memory. I never got the sense that it was a sexual crime - it's weird that he would even boast about that. It sort of shows how detached from reality he was at the time.

stuff wrote:I guess I forgot the racism too. Maybe I was too self-centered at the time to pay much attention to it.

We’re from a middle to upper-middle class suburb, and I don’t think his family is rich exactly, just middle class. I think he was probably kind of a not too popular, kind of lonely kid who spent a lot of his time online, maybe acting in a way he didn’t really act in real life. But I’m only speculating since we never interacted offline.

The only thing I remember hearing about him in school was a rumor that he was the one who started the forum about the school, which he denied when I asked him.


I def got the feeling that he was a loner when he spoke on GTF. He pretty much didn't try to hide it at all. He actually, very rarely posted pictures of himself, and never publicly. I remember I only saw them by like manipulating the url of something he posted.

It's so crazy, like, if he knew just about any of us, current users today, I guarantee we could have talked him out of suicide. It's so sad, even if he was a dick to people online, I'm pretty sure he was probably a victim of bullying and was just projecting. He had a God-like complex on here. But no one deserves to die. If Wizid is right though and he did go too far with classmates, which this is the first I am hearing about that, then he probably did deserve jail time.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby acpro » 26 September 2020, 03:10

wizid wrote:
acpro wrote:To put it simply, he was a bully, He called people ugly, fat, and other hurtful names on the regular. I remember thinking at the time he would be responsible for someone elses' suicide. I remember once when MeWithoutYou hadn't posted for awhile and someone asked how he was,


He was pretty racist too. He reminded me of a small town rich kid - pretentious, entitled, and an asshole - but like you said, he made the forum, and the forum was beneficial to me.


I remember Stapler.

Also - JayFairplay - was trying to remember that name last night when I noted Shawn & Frosty.


Wizid, do you remember the cute guy who was in the military? If I remember correctly, he had short blonde hair, medium height, bright blue or green eyes, and had a tattoo of a woman on his upper arm/bicep, maybe a mermaid?
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby René » 26 September 2020, 03:15

acpro wrote:
wizid wrote:
acpro wrote:To put it simply, he was a bully, He called people ugly, fat, and other hurtful names on the regular. I remember thinking at the time he would be responsible for someone elses' suicide. I remember once when MeWithoutYou hadn't posted for awhile and someone asked how he was,


He was pretty racist too. He reminded me of a small town rich kid - pretentious, entitled, and an asshole - but like you said, he made the forum, and the forum was beneficial to me.


I remember Stapler.

Also - JayFairplay - was trying to remember that name last night when I noted Shawn & Frosty.

Wizid, do you remember the cute guy who was in the military? If I remember correctly, he had short blonde hair, medium height, bright blue or green eyes, and had a tattoo of a woman on his upper arm/bicep, maybe a mermaid?

Sorry to talk out of turn, haha, but would that be xFDMx, the moderator who was rarely online and never did any moderating?
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby acpro » 26 September 2020, 03:17

René wrote:
acpro wrote:
wizid wrote:
acpro wrote:To put it simply, he was a bully, He called people ugly, fat, and other hurtful names on the regular. I remember thinking at the time he would be responsible for someone elses' suicide. I remember once when MeWithoutYou hadn't posted for awhile and someone asked how he was,


He was pretty racist too. He reminded me of a small town rich kid - pretentious, entitled, and an asshole - but like you said, he made the forum, and the forum was beneficial to me.


I remember Stapler.

Also - JayFairplay - was trying to remember that name last night when I noted Shawn & Frosty.

Wizid, do you remember the cute guy who was in the military? If I remember correctly, he had short blonde hair, medium height, bright blue or green eyes, and had a tattoo of a woman on his upper arm/bicep, maybe a mermaid?

Sorry to talk out of turn, haha, but would that be xFDMx, the moderator who was rarely online and never did any moderating?


lol you're not talking out of turn, but that is him!!!! lol. I didn't even know he was a mod. Of course, I'm not surprised, given that Insey usually based his favoritism on one's physical attributes.

Edit: this is so funny, bc I guarantee, Insey would have never thought that the lurker(s) from like 2002 would be the ones talking and revealing things about his life, ~14-16 years after his death. His website did have quite the reach. I'd even bet that a big portion of men in the US who are 30-37 now probably interacted with his site at one time or another, even if they didn't post, and it just showed up in their search results.
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