Did GTF merge?

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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby stuff » 26 September 2020, 04:16

acpro wrote:Wizid, do you remember the cute guy who was in the military? If I remember correctly, he had short blonde hair, medium height, bright blue or green eyes, and had a tattoo of a woman on his upper arm/bicep, maybe a mermaid?


Was he like a big George Bush supporter?

I also remember Stapler’s dick.

I don’t feel like bullying was as big a problem in my high school as it was in some others. More so in middle school. However, I do remember when he posted that someone at school had discovered the site, that it was his, and his posts on it, and it was going around the whole school, so there was that. That was after I graduated.

That was such a different time to be a gay teen. We had a production of The Laramie Project, and we had those Westboro Baptist assholes protesting outside, and everybody was trying to act like our school was all about tolerance. And yet almost nobody was out, and every single day I heard people calling everything gay, making fun of gay people, calling each other gay, joking about how disgusting gayness is, etc. It really fucked with my head, so that even though I started coming out when I was 17, I still kept one foot in the closet for years, most of the time not telling people I met that I was gay, unless they knew from someone else. It took me until I was 30 to start getting more comfortable with it. But I know I’m also sensitive. Many other gay kids went through far worse experiences in school.

When I was a senior and out to some people, I tried to submit an article for the school paper that would have been published anonymously, through friends who worked on it. I wanted to tell everyone what my experience was being gay in that school, that it was not a good environment for gay students, unlike the way people were trying to pretend it was. However, the teachers in charge of the paper, who didn’t know who wrote it (at least that’s what I was told) refused to publish it unless I put my name on it. I guess they didn’t want to cause a big stir with people trying to figure out who it was or something. So I just gave up.

Years later, I found that article on my computer and read it, and it was absolutely horrible. It was poorly written and didn’t make any clear points. I’m not sure how I even wrote that, since I wasn’t actually bad at writing back then. I was kind of glad it wasn’t actually published. Now I don’t remember what it said, but I think we may still have that old computer sitting in a room somewhere, so I may try to find it again.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby acpro » 26 September 2020, 04:50

stuff wrote:
acpro wrote:Wizid, do you remember the cute guy who was in the military? If I remember correctly, he had short blonde hair, medium height, bright blue or green eyes, and had a tattoo of a woman on his upper arm/bicep, maybe a mermaid?


Was he like a big George Bush supporter?


I'm not sure if he was a Bush supporter or not.

stuff wrote:I don’t feel like bullying was as big a problem in my high school


stuff wrote:That was such a different time to be a gay teen. We had a production of The Laramie Project, and we had those Westboro Baptist assholes protesting outside, and everybody was trying to act like our school was all about tolerance. And yet almost nobody was out, and every single day I heard people calling everything gay, making fun of gay people, calling each other gay, joking about how disgusting gayness is, etc. It really fucked with my head, so that even though I started coming out when I was 17, I still kept one foot in the closet for years,


Dude, that is bullying. It's just indirect bullying. No child should have to hear their sexuality being used as a weapon of insult against other students while in school. Teachers heard that shit - I guarantee it and let it pass. It happened in my school too. Direct and indirect bullying; it doesn't matter, both are harmful for a teenage brain that is still forming.

I was directly bullied for being gay in 6-7 grade less in 8th and never really in high school, but only by luck, that I was in a different district which separated me from all my bullies, so I got to start over.

I never repeated the same mistakes that outed me in my new school. Also, since my close friends at the time also lived near me, they also, went to the same school district as me in high school. I was lucky, because most of everyone else I knew went to another high school. It was just by luck that my best friends happened to also be on the other side of the cut off line for the school district. So I had a lot of moral support. When people did call me gay I had my best friends to defend me. Looking back on it, it's' so ironic because they thought they were helping me by denying I was gay, which is true it did help me, but I should have never had to deny it.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby stuff » 26 September 2020, 05:30

Yeah I suppose you’re right. At the time it wasn’t what I considered “bullying.” And I actually was made fun of at time pa in middle school for seeming gay sometimes. But I didn’t know I was gay at that point. Not so much in high school. I think at that time, most people would not have been outwardly hostile to someone who was out of the closet, although they likely would have made fun of them behind their backs. Just a whole toxic masculinity thing. It was funny to laugh at someone and call them gay if they weren’t gay, less so if they actually were. Even my older brother called me gay for many years, until I actually came out. Honestly, that probably also had an affect on me, but I wouldn’t ever want him to know that now.

I’m sorry you had to go through that experience. Are you still friends with those people?
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby acpro » 26 September 2020, 05:47

stuff wrote:Yeah I suppose you’re right. At the time it wasn’t what I considered “bullying.” And I actually was made fun of at time pa in middle school for seeming gay sometimes. But I didn’t know I was gay at that point. Not so much in high school. I think at that time, most people would not have been outwardly hostile to someone who was out of the closet, although they likely would have made fun of them behind their backs. Just a whole toxic masculinity thing. It was funny to laugh at someone and call them gay if they weren’t gay, less so if they actually were. Even my older brother called me gay for many years, until I actually came out. Honestly, that probably also had an affect on me, but I wouldn’t ever want him to know that now.

I’m sorry you had to go through that experience. Are you still friends with those people?



Ironically, the male friends who stood up for me, I am not friends with anymore. One because he went completely alt-right republican. He was a liberal democrat and then went hardcore repub after he started a new job in his last year of college at a boat marina - studying to be a teacher. Our friendship culminated in one of his new redneck friends punching me in the face, unprovoked, while he was blacked out, during my friends bachelor party, and calling me a faggot, after he hit me. My friend never disowned his redneck friend and actually stopped calling me afterwards.

By this time my friend was a 2nd grade teacher - I know he was reprimanded by the school for posting inappropriate alt-right content on his FB. I lurk his FB page every now, and then, even tho we aren't friends, he's 35 and all he talks about is "memes" and republican shit. I cannot believe as a 35 year old male he is using the word "meme" in a serious convo. We knew each other since 1stt grade - he was one of the "slow" kids in special classes..so funny he couldn't handle being a teacher. I mean, he could barely read at 6th grade, can't imagine him ever teaching. He ended up not teaching anymore and doing landscaping work. He actually makes good money now from what I see (his brother's wife is one of my good friends now).

The other friend, we have a much more complicated relationship, but we aren't friends anymore mostly because he and my personality just don't match anymore. He's ultra-masc which is fine but I guess we just had too many up and downs in our friendship to make it work. He's super obsessed with people and also a raging alcoholic. He actually punched the friend in the above paragraph out of nowhere at a beach party one night. ..he didn't like that him and I were so close (ie weren't fighting people unprovoked) Then a year later he pretty much did the same to me...things have never really been the same since. He was the guy who looked for fights growing up. Which, shielded me from bullies in high school, but post-high school, he just was looking to fight anyone for the hell of it, including myself and our friends.

The girls I was friends with then, yes, I am still friends with them, and they are my best friends to this day. I wouldn't know what to do without them. One of them actually came out as lesbian 4 years ago. She now has a English gf who just came to visit last week and is staying indefinitely. Not sure how she pulled it off with all the restrictions but she's in the US.

Sort of sucks, because I don't have a guy "network" of friends anymore but I've just been reclusive for the last few years. There are guys I could reach out too and re-spark our friendships. I just haven't because, well I lived in RI for 5 years, then moved back to MD, where I live now, and just haven't had a chance to reach out with covid.

EDIT: I am also sorry for the bullying you endured. It's a miracle so many of us survived that shit. I def had suicidal thoughts at the ages of 11-13. I got really lucky that a girl in 8th grade sort of adopted me in her friend group - when I wasn't out but everyone knew, ya know? Her and I still talk like 1-2xs a week to the day.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby stuff » 26 September 2020, 06:03

Wow, it sounds like you’re better off without those guys in your life. Do you have any gay guy friends? I’ve recently joined the gay men’s chorus and realized what I’ve been missing in my life by not spending much time around other gay guys.

I also have always had more female friends than male, but always wished I had more male friends. I also went through major depression and suicidal thoughts through much of ages 16-18. I didn’t really understand at the time that me being gay had a lot to do with it, even though I was also going through the struggle of realizing I was gay and coming out. That seems like a theme in my posts here, the things I didn’t perceive or understand back then.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby stuff » 26 September 2020, 06:04

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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby acpro » 26 September 2020, 06:13

stuff wrote:Wow, it sounds like you’re better off without those guys in your life. Do you have any gay guy friends? I’ve recently joined the gay men’s chorus and realized what I’ve been missing in my life by not spending much time around other gay guys.

I also have always had more female friends than male, but always wished I had more male friends. I also went through major depression and suicidal thoughts through much of ages 16-18. I didn’t really understand at the time that me being gay had a lot to do with it, even though I was also going through the struggle of realizing I was gay and coming out. That seems like a theme in my posts here, the things I didn’t perceive or understand back then.


Gay friends? Yeah-ish nott really anymore. I did when I lived in RI. I have a little click that I went out with. But then I moved back to Baltimore and I've been here since and I do not have any gay male friends that I hang out with. I always would meet guys with the understanding we'd just be friends and it never worked out, they'd always try to hook up. Not because of me/my looks, I'm super average, I'm guessing because of lack of opportunity.

I know a lot of guys would become friends with their previous boyfriends or hookups, but that unfortunately hasn't happened with me. Also, guys that I knew in my high school, who came out afterwards, don't live in my city anymore. So there were times when I had gay friends to go out with, like from my old high school, but then they moved, then I moved out of baltimore, and now I am back, and I don't know anyone again.

The gay men's chorus sounds amazing! I'm guessing that's Philly? Once covid ends I think I will start going out again and meeting people again. I def need a gay peer group. I'm currently without it :(

Ugh, I hate looking at FB and seeing my exs living life like I should be lol but I really do need to be cautious with covid.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby acpro » 26 September 2020, 06:16

stuff wrote:Also, speaking of racism: https://web.archive.org/web/20070626050 ... 1a7&t=4542



omg ew
Frosty wrote:it bothers me when whites try to act like they're black


He was a piece of work. But again, he wouldn't have likely spoke like that unless it was accepted (or previously accepted from previous admins, like Insey) from the top down. It is still gross he had those views even if he had self-censored himself.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby René » 26 September 2020, 09:14

acpro wrote:Not because of me/my looks, I'm super average, I'm guessing because of lack of opportunity.

You're cute Alex. No need to put yourself down like that :3
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby stuff » 26 September 2020, 21:02

Yeah, Philadelphia Gay Men's Chorus. We're having a virtual season now, which is nothing like a real one. We have some zoom things and we're making some virtual choir performances, but in general it's a community that I feel like I've temporarily lost. If you have any singing ability at all, I'd suggest joining the Baltimore one when people can be together again.

Also I agree with René. You're cute enough that these guys may actually be interested in you for reasons other than desperation.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 27 September 2020, 14:50

stuff wrote:Also, speaking of racism: https://web.archive.org/web/20070626050 ... 1a7&t=4542

Adopting black affectation is a hallowed gay tradition.

This actually reminds me of a coworker of mine. He’s a skinny asian man who always insists he’s married to a woman but wears capris, bow ties, walks with a swish and speaks like a black woman, often overdoing it when he’s trying to make a sassy point. There’s something about black female mannerisms that draws effeminate gays to it.
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby stuff » 27 September 2020, 16:00

So you have no proof that he actually has a wife?
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Re: Did GTF merge?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 27 September 2020, 16:14

I mean, it’s possible he does, just like a lot of closeted Republicans. It’s just painful to watch the charade at this stage.
Blow: "Nowadays even Liam can release an album of his screechy vocals and it'll probably go #1..."
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