Do you do things by yourself?

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Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby c1ask0 » 16 September 2016, 21:42

For a long time I felt like I wasn't able to go out and do the things I wanted to do. The usual excuse was that no one wanted to do the same things as me, but often I just didn't have enough friends with the same interests.

Anyway, after the 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games, I travelled into London to see the athletes' parade. (I actually turned up so early that I had to wait five hours for the parade to start. My feet were killing at the end of it, but I got a front row view so it was worth it. :cool: )

Since then I've taken to doing things by myself with the idea being that it's at least better than doing nothing at all. In that time I've been on day trips, attended gigs and holidayed abroad by myself, if only to stop myself from getting bored at home.

So, tell me what you guys get up to by yourselves. What's the most interesting thing you e done and what are the things you want to do?
Don't think about doing it tomorrow. You won't do it tomorrow. Do it today.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby rxxli » 16 September 2016, 22:17

I am really bad at things like this. I don't like doing stuff by myself - either getting something to eat during a lunch break or going to the cinema. Even less so if it requires any social interaction.

On the other hand I am quite embarrassed to ask anyone (not that I have that many people to ask) to go with me. Which means that I just end up staying at home where it's nice.

One day I want to finally get the courage and go to the UK and visit Bletchly Park and some other interesting places of computing history. When that will be is another story altogether.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby Viper7 » 16 September 2016, 22:37

I am pretty sure that I have something called Schizoid personality, which by definition basically means you prefer to do things by yourself. :)
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby c1ask0 » 16 September 2016, 23:23

Viper7 wrote:I am pretty sure that I have something called Schizoid personality, which by definition basically means you prefer to do things by yourself. :)

Yeah, I feel like this sometimes, especially after spending time with people and sometimes during. :lol:

rxxli wrote:One day I want to finally get the courage and go to the UK and visit Bletchly Park and some other interesting places of computing history. When that will be is another story altogether.

Honestly, if you planned to come to the UK and spoke to people beforehand, I reckon you could easily meet up with several people from GTF and/or GFO. Quite a lot of active and semi-active users live in the south not a million miles from Bletchley. We could even do a London meetup so you can meet a number of people. It's up to you though; all you have to do is ask people.

Actually, out of the three times I went abroad by myself I met up with GFOers two of those times. :D
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby rxxli » 17 September 2016, 00:48

c1ask0 wrote:
rxxli wrote:One day I want to finally get the courage and go to the UK and visit Bletchly Park and some other interesting places of computing history. When that will be is another story altogether.

Honestly, if you planned to come to the UK and spoke to people beforehand, I reckon you could easily meet up with several people from GTF and/or GFO. Quite a lot of active and semi-active users live in the south not a million miles from Bletchley. We could even do a London meetup so you can meet a number of people. It's up to you though; all you have to do is ask people.

Actually, out of the three times I went abroad by myself I met up with GFOers two of those times. :D

Yes talking to people. Have you noticed that I am really good at that? :lol:
I don't like saying hi to people let alone talk to them about coming to visit. I don't even want to visit my friends house because it feels too unfamiliar.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby Derek » 17 September 2016, 01:47

Nope. I'm too self-conscious. I know it's irrational, but I hate being out alone.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby Yeauxleaux » 17 September 2016, 03:11

It's actually never really bothered me

Might sound strange, but I spent a lot of time growing up without a solid large circle of friends. I guess it was due to me being closeted, I couldn't show my real personality but I was also shit at having an interesting fake one.

Anyways it gave me an independence of sorts. I got used to going out shopping by myself even as a teenager, eating out by myself if I had to, going gym or (when I got a bit older) even sightseeing within The UK alone. All my half-Marathon training when I was 17, I did by myself. Wanted to see a movie with no friends available? yup, I've done the dreaded "lone cinema" stunt a few times actually, at the end of the day I'm there to see a film, not socialise. I'd also definitely consider travelling internationally alone, although I haven't yet. I love the idea of travelling alone, just getting the trip to be 100% what I want to do instead of being dragged along by a group.

There are certain things I won't do on my own, like really nice proper restaurants or a bar or nightclub, those are certain specific things I do feel I need company for. But otherwise, I'm generally comfortable in my own company, and I've grown to even prefer it when I'm in the right mood. Since coming out I wouldn't say I have more friends, but the few I do have are much better friends so I do spend more time out with them now.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby Marmaduke » 17 September 2016, 10:01

rxxli wrote:One day I want to finally get the courage and go to the UK and visit Bletchley Park and some other interesting places of computing history. When that will be is another story altogether.

Yeah, when you make the trip, stay in London and travel up. Milton Keynes is not a place to centre a holiday in. I used to live just down the road.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby Sherri » 17 September 2016, 11:42

I enjoy doing things alone, probably because I was one of five children growing up so I know how valuable alone time can be. I go eat alone and spend the time browsing subreddits. I specifically go to sad movies alone so I can cry without caring if the person I brought is concerned about me.

It makes me a little sad that I'll never get to truly experience living alone (assuming this whole engagement to Maurice works out). But then I think of what I'd do if I saw a roach in the bathroom and I lived alone, and I'm quickly thankful that I won't have to deal with that.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby KrisCross » 17 September 2016, 16:30

I actually never really have to problem of not having anyone to go with. :shrug: There's always someone who can/wants to go with me, whether it's a friend, my boyfriend or a family member. I do enjoy my fair share of alone time, but in that case I just stay at home, go for a walk, I've never really felt the urge or need to go to an event or movie by myself.

I do however enjoy shopping by myself.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby yagyug » 18 September 2016, 10:31

rxxli wrote:One day I want to finally get the courage and go to the UK and visit Bletchly Park and some other interesting places of computing history. When that will be is another story altogether.


You should consider just booking to do a tour group in different places while traveling. That way there's a lot of strangers interacting on a superficial level and if you go on a tour of Bletchly you'll most likely be surrounded by other tech heads.

Marmaduke wrote:
rxxli wrote:One day I want to finally get the courage and go to the UK and visit Bletchley Park and some other interesting places of computing history. When that will be is another story altogether.

Yeah, when you make the trip, stay in London and travel up. Milton Keynes is not a place to centre a holiday in. I used to live just down the road.

So you're saying you basically invented the computer!? Can I have your signature please.

c1ask0 wrote:So, tell me what you guys get up to by yourselves. What's the most interesting thing you e done and what are the things you want to do?

Like Sherri I grew up in a very big and busy house so I didn't get much experience with "alone time" growing up. But while at uni I took to going to events on my own because most of my classmates were into different stuff and I really wanted to experience the comedy culture that the uni was known for. That was actually a really great life lesson in socialising with strangers and just dealing with being on my own sometimes.

That said these days I do value alone time a lot too, and I'll spend a lot of my free time just chilling in cool places on my own, generally because I have a slightly bad habit of constantly pushing myself to the limit when I'm working or socialising, so a bit of alone time is generally needed to relax the old brain batteries.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby acpro » 18 September 2016, 15:46

I'm 100% in a situation where if I want to do anything, I almost always have to do it solo. I moved to a new state with my boyfriend at the time and I've been here for almost 4 years now but on my own for exactly 1 year (we have been broken up for one year and I've been living on my own since then). My ex is a super introvert and wasn't receptive to hanging out with really anyone or meeting new people, so while we were together I didn't have the opportunity to meet new people that I could be hanging out with now.

I've found it really difficult to meet friends in the late 20's early 30s stage of life because I'm sort of at the point in my life where I don't like partying until 4am and that's really my only experience with meeting people besides school and work. I've had a few gay friends here but they were still in their partying stage and when I wasn't into going out to bars on the weekdays, they stopped calling me.

Anyway, so I've gotten into some hobbies and I'm about to join a club (although I'm joining without knowing anyone, except one person) so hopefully I'll meet people and not have to do quite so much solo.

When I go back to my home state I have a lot of friends to hang out with so this is definitely new to me. In fact, I work from home Thursday and Fridays so I'm considering going back to Maryland (my home state) twice a month from Wed-Sun and just make that a regular thing.

I think confidence, my mood that day, and the situation play a big role in what I'll do alone. For example, I just couldn't imagine going to a gay bar by myself, maybe a straight one, but not gay (there are exceptions and maybe I could see myself going but I'd have to have a really good excuse to be at a gay bar alone). If I was from out of town, new to the area, or something like that then I would go to a gay bar alone and feel comfortable.

Things like festivals, beach, movies, mall, and restaurants I will 100% go by myself without hesitation as long as I'm in the right mood.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby 72Jay » 20 September 2016, 03:51

I frequently go short walks or hikes by myself (used to go on longer ones, but I'm old & worn out, so I simply can't even tho I would really like to)

I've gone to multiple pride festivals... and always by myself.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby Eryx » 20 September 2016, 14:39

I get anxious doing things on my own, even if they're part of my interests. Having a friend there, no matter if they're actually helping with the activity or not, is very reassuring. That said, I try to force myself to do things alone as much as I can, because I think it's healthy and can lead to some very great experiences.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby Tony » 20 September 2016, 17:43

I'm pretty independent so I do a lot of things on my own including going to the cinema, shopping and travelling, both nationally and internationally. It does have it's own advantages and disadvantages, like getting bored and wanting some company, so at times I wish I had another person to do these activities with.

I'm really bad at making/keeping friends for some reason and I 'm really socially awkward, but I'm trying my best to come out of my shell and become more confident.

I guess the most interesting thing I have done on my own was a holiday in Paris, Disneyland Paris was fun but it would have been more fun to have someone else with me. I did get to ride over ten different rides in under 4 hours as I skipped some of the queue being a single rider.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby Brenden » 20 September 2016, 21:37

Tony wrote:I did get to ride over ten different rides in under 4 hours as I skipped some of the queue being a single rider.

Do they have an official policy on this or is it more just to fill up spots on the ride and be efficient (like sitting next to odd-numbered groups)?
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby Eryx » 21 September 2016, 09:39

From my experience they're just like "One spot left! Anyone single out there?" hahahhah

It's interesting to see that while Tony struggles to be around more people and be confident to do it, I struggle to be on my own and be confident to do it. People and their anxieties... Like my friend said yesterday, no one's normal under a magnifying glass.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby Brenden » 21 September 2016, 16:11

Eryx wrote:Like my friend said yesterday, no one's normal under a magnifying glass.

I don't think anyone is normal even to the naked eye. If someone presents as quintessentially normal, I'd consider that they may be high-functioning psychopaths putting on a manipulative show.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby BritishIrishGay » 21 September 2016, 16:26

I hate going to places alone. I get too into my head; ones most definitely not a party. Although, I have tried to go on holiday by myself but I found it boring as I seemed to not talk to anyone the whole time haha.
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Re: Do you do things by yourself?

Unread postby c1ask0 » 21 September 2016, 17:29

BritishIrishGay wrote:I hate going to places alone. I get too into my head; ones most definitely not a party. Although, I have tried to go on holiday by myself but I found it boring as I seemed to not talk to anyone the whole time haha.

I do this! It's fun to get away, but eventually I get fed up of not talking to people. Even at that point in the holiday, I seem to be too shy to go and talk to people.

After the last time I promised myself I wouldn't go on holiday alone again, but I will if it comes to it. After all, I want to see more of the world somehow!
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