Do you think people are born gay?

It is interesting that this is a very old thread that has had recently come back to life...

Yeauxleaux wrote:...

I really don't think it's important though. People want to prove so bad that being gay is inborn to counter the religious fundies. It doesn't matter, because even if being gay was a choice, it's still something so trivial and victimless that there's no real moral argument against it. Anti-gay sentiment would be no more legitimate even if it was a "lifestyle choice".

I pretty much agree with this sentiment. Imagine you fell in love with someone of a much different age than yours, or someone whose height was much smaller or taller than you? If people looked down on you because of such situations, would you feel t he need to prove a genetic or some such reasoning to justify why you chose something that made some people uncomfortable, or would you simply tell them directly (or indirectly) to fuck off? I think the latter would be most people's reaction...

I find it very difficult to believe there is some gay gene that explains it all? Why, because there is so much variety even amongst just gay men. We are not all cut fro the same cloth. In my own case, I recall my first desire for another male was when I was only 4.5 years old. My cousin who had a bad relationship with his dad, was sent to stay with my grandparents just to get him away from his dad. His paternal grandparents and an uncle (younger than his dad), came to drop him off. I was so turned on by his uncle who was covered from head to toe with a lot of body hair. I wanted so badly to touch every part of his body. I had no interest in seeing his cock and balls, just his hairy body. Why I have no idea. I wasn't molested by a hairy person prior to that, and I don't think anybody is proposing a hirsute attraction gene. Still that was my earliest same sex attraction. I also remember a peeing down an outdoor staircase with a bunch of neighbor boys (all brothers from a large family). I felt absolutely no attraction. We were simply goofing off. I also remember peeing next to my grandpa in his shop -- he had no restroom in his shop... Again, I felt nothing at all.

Emotionally, I recall loving spending time with grandpa. He would carry me on his back until he got too sick (cancer) to do so. I also cried so hard when my cousin (that I mentioned earlier staying with us) had to leave to go home. (He stayed for about 6 months.) Then when my grandpa died when I was 7.5 years of age. (They withheld from me that he was dying as grandma felt that young children should be protected from things such as death and dying. I was devastated.

Now I don't want to imply that same sex attraction is due to some "mistake" due to having less than the ideal perfect family (two parents both loving you), anymore than I would want to imply that straight maleness is due to lacking of love from a female (ie mother) in one's early years. Yet for me, my whole life is wanting a man's love and for that love to be with a man who is in my household every day. I had no problem with the idea of marrying a woman and having children, but I knew I wanted at least one son. Yet I knew when he would turn 18 and need to leave the nest to become his own man, I would have been devastated again with this feeling of extreme loss. Unfortunately, in my 20's I found out I was extremely infertile. The idea of marrying a woman who I couldn't impregnate was such a reminder of what a failure I was as a man being defective in the fertility part of manhood...

Sexually, I'm also different than most same-sex attracted men. I want him to be a man - not some imitation of a woman. Still, I want him to have the loyalty and faithfulness that we stereotypically associate with women. I also have this weird fantasy of impregnating such a man, and creating life with him. It isn't that I want him to have a sex change or treat him like a woman. I simply want to create life with another man. A creation the lives past our own lives.

Emotionally I'm very strongly a "homo-romantic". Physically, I'm very attracted to some men's bodies -- hairy, muscular, nice ass, nice face, etc. I don't crave cock. If I care about cock it is because of the man its attached to. (That is why I cannot relate at all to guys who "claim" to be straight, yet crave cock -- never the man it is attached to. Some of them will only have sex with she-males or any such person with a cock who can pass as a woman. Sometimes they themselves like to cross dress and have such sex as they cannot fathom two regular males having sex together. That is so weird to me. I cannot fathom if there is such a "gay" gene(s), that I would have anything in common genetically with such guys.

PS: I have to stretch to find someone gay in my family tree. I once found something like a 3rd cousin twice removed who is gay. Contrast that to my partner who has a gay half-brother, a lesbian niece, and growing up had lots of same-sex activity with his cousins and even his uncles and grandpa. All this was on his mother's side. Note, if you were ever to meet my partner, you would be hard pressed to believe he was gay as he is so masculine acting.

I think it’s a bit of nature vs. nurture… kinda like mental illness. Not calling gay a mental illness but not everything is black and white. Either way it doesn’t matter. If you want to be with a concerning adult, go ahead, you do you.

I think that gays are never born. They become gay over the course of their lives because of various factors. I fully support gay people and think everyone deserves to love and be loved.