Having Children

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Having Children

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 21 March 2019, 18:15

Does it ever bother you that being in a same sex relationship you can't have biological children of your own?

Sometimes I am bothered by that, like sometimes I think I would like to have a child one day and that its a bit sad that my family might end with me if I don't have a child.

Most of the time though I am shit scared terrified of having a child, and its very sadly becoming kind of unethical to do so anyway what with the imminent collapse of ecosystems and subsequent societal breakdown.

Come on gay fossil fuel free post scarcity space anarchism with same sex biological parenting, easily doable gender transitioning, anti-aging and artificially extended lifespan/near immortality already!
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby Eryx » 21 March 2019, 21:58

My sister just had her first baby and I had the opportunity to watch her and my brother-in-law learning how to be parents and taking care of her. The first year is a nightmare, and I don't think I want to have to deal with that personally, so I'm more inclined to adopt nowadays.

However, we've talked before about all of this and my sister is willing to be inseminated with my partner if we decide we want kids. So my kids would be as close to biological as possible because my sister's DNA is obviously very similar to mine and the kid would also be my partner's. That's an acceptable solution for me if I do decide I care enough to go through it.

As for the population thing, I mean, Brazil already has a negative birthrate, I don't think I'll be destroying the planet with a couple of kids.
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 21 March 2019, 22:46

Eryx wrote:As for the population thing, I mean, Brazil already has a negative birthrate, I don't think I'll be destroying the planet with a couple of kids.


No thats not what I meant at all. I actually completely disagree with environmentalists that posit "overpopulation" as a primary cause of climate change and ecological degradation.

I meant that because the continuation of a habitable earth and functioning society in the face of ecological breakdown is literraly in jeapordy, its somewhat kind of becoming immoral almost to have kids these days since if we don't take immediate action on an unprecedented scale they will not be having a good future at all - not that I am against having kids.
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby mastmck » 21 March 2019, 22:51

One day i plan to have children but I'm going to adopt, there are so many children who dont have family's this way they get to have a family and i get to have children
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 21 March 2019, 22:55

mastmck wrote:One day i plan to have children but I'm going to adopt, there are so many children who dont have family's this way they get to have a family and i get to have children


I am attracted to the idea of adoption also and could love a child as if they are my own biological child.

However I still sometimes think that I'd like to have a child who is my offspring, who I am related to, takes after me somewhat and continues on my family line.

I also sometimes feel kind of bad for my parents by denying them grandchildren.
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby Eryx » 22 March 2019, 00:55

I felt guilty that way sometimes, but I don't anymore. My sister already has a daughter and intends on having more kids, so the family line is safe. I would also love an adopted child the same way as a biological one, but a part of me does want that feeling of looking at a kid and recognizing some features I passed along.
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 22 March 2019, 01:41

Eryx wrote:I felt guilty that way sometimes, but I don't anymore. My sister already has a daughter and intends on having more kids, so the family line is safe. I would also love an adopted child the same way as a biological one, but a part of me does want that feeling of looking at a kid and recognizing some features I passed along.


Answering my own question, I guess you could view an adopted child as a continuation of your line. I mean they may carry on your family name, your values and personality traits may also rub off on them and they could pick that up.

I do get the longing for a child that has come from you though. That's hardwired in us for our own survival as well as survival of the species I think regardless of sexuality.

I really hope in the near future they will be able to offer same sex biological parenting. Not sure how far off they are with that, but I think they did some interesting experiments with mice regarding it. It would probably be expensive if it was introduced.

On another note, anyone think that freezing sperm is a good idea?
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby Shaved-Nudist » 22 March 2019, 14:46

I don't want to have children, though I do enjoy being with my young family relations.
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 22 March 2019, 15:55

It would help matters also if polygamy was widely accepted, seen as normal and a common practice, at least if your bisexual.
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby mxguy01 » 22 March 2019, 17:31

GaySpacePirateKing wrote:It would help matters also if polygamy was widely accepted, seen as normal and a common practice, at least if your bisexual.


I can only imagine a 3-way divorce/settlement involving children...
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 22 March 2019, 18:05

mxguy01 wrote:
GaySpacePirateKing wrote:It would help matters also if polygamy was widely accepted, seen as normal and a common practice, at least if your bisexual.


I can only imagine a 3-way divorce/settlement involving children...


Well I am kind of against marriage anyway and certainly against the idea of children being possessions to their parents and fought over when parents split up.

Children could choose where to live maybe with the assistance of social workers, could choose to visit all or only some of their parents as often as they want and I'd expect parents to be able to work something out that's best for the child.
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby Eryx » 22 March 2019, 19:11

It's hard to expect that from parents when even in 2 they very often don't act like adults.
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 22 March 2019, 22:21

Eryx wrote:It's hard to expect that from parents when even in 2 they very often don't act like adults.


I think most people behave quite reasonably tbh given the chance. If anything we are too well behaved!

When it comes to peoples own children I think thats usually when people are their least selfish and usually always only want whats best for the child.

So long as regardless of where the child lives the parents that split up aren't prevented from seeing their kids if their kids want to see them then I don't think this will be as big an issue as is being made out.

It could also be very postive for kids to have multiple parents.
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby Jzone » 22 March 2019, 23:12

Well, this is an interesting topic. I'm bi, and I was married to a woman for 20 years. I have 2 adult children, who I love more than anything else. Parenting is a crap shoot: you never know how your genetics will get shuffled. The best you can do is do your best as a parent and hope that nurturing will overcome any shortcomings of nature.

My parents had close friends who produced their own children and adopted another. The parents are some of the finest people I have ever known. Their adopted child was and is a complete mess. Watching their experience, I decided long ago that I would never adopt. Maybe that's selfish. I know that many people have wonderful experiences with adopted children. I knew I would never take that risk.

Now that my kids are in relationships and starting their own families may not be far off, I'm torn. Yes, it seems that societal and environmental collapse may be imminent. However, I have friends who told me the same thing 25 years ago. Sometimes I want to counsel my children against having children of their own. The world is too uncertain. At heart I am an optimist, so I will probably hold back from that. Things might get worse before they get better, but life goes on.

The funny thing is that my straight brothers have not produced children to carry on our family. I'm the only one of us to reproduce, and I'm proud of my kids for reasons I can and cannot claim responsibility for.
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby jimbo_xix » 17 July 2019, 07:36

Hell no. We're superior to breeders because we don't have kids. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the difficult job heterosexuals have of raising kids. Somebody has to do it but I'm glad its not me.

And to those gay fools who adopt kids: What about homosexuality don't you understand? Nature doesn't intend us to make babies. We have more important work to do.
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby jimbo_xix » 17 July 2019, 07:40

GaySpacePirateKing wrote:
mxguy01 wrote:
GaySpacePirateKing wrote:It would help matters also if polygamy was widely accepted, seen as normal and a common practice, at least if your bisexual.


I can only imagine a 3-way divorce/settlement involving children...


Well I am kind of against marriage anyway and certainly against the idea of children being possessions to their parents and fought over when parents split up.

Children could choose where to live maybe with the assistance of social workers, could choose to visit all or only some of their parents as often as they want and I'd expect parents to be able to work something out that's best for the child.


What about gay marriage? Are you one of the few sane gay people who think it's a horrible idea?
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby Eryx » 17 July 2019, 12:09

Who the fuck do you think you are to tell other gay men what they're supposed to do or how to lead their lives? Isn't the whole point of us being free to do what want to be free and do what we want? Lol. Should we elect you king?
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PostThis post was deleted by Jryski on 17 July 2019, 12:36.

Re: Having Children

Unread postby Jryski » 17 July 2019, 12:37

Against marriage? Are yall okay? Yall sound hella confused. I mean marriage is a man made concept but the idea of having a partner to spend your life with and to be your family is not. When you say you're against gay marriage you're basically saying you're against gay people having a family of their own. I'm not sure what yall think marriage is about but.... okay? Nature is alot of things but just because men can't give birth does not mean that men should or should not have children to raise. The best way I can say this is.... If you don't like marriage, then don't get married. If you don't like children, then don't have kids. There's no right or wrong when it comes to human beings having families and saplings. It just is.
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Re: Having Children

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 17 July 2019, 20:43

Well I guess it wasn't exactly clear what I meant, but then I was only responding to that one user and wasn't really intending in explaining any further what I meant cause I am lazy and can't be bothered debating about it. You've both decided for yourselves what my views and motivations are though once again.

I did not mean I was against people getting married or against gay marriage. People can do whatever they want. Marriage as in two people loving each other and wanting to declare so is fine.

What I am critical of is marriage as an institution and the user I was responding to was talking about the legal ramifications of a marriage involving 3 adults and children.

Marriage as an institution historically had less to do with two people loving each other and was more of a social and economic arrangement that made women economically dependant to men, except even today that's still the case in many parts of the world and even today marriage establishes patriarchal male dominance over women. I also don't like the possessiveness of marriage as in two people owning each other or really the man owning the woman, and the state and the church being involved to certify this relationship and make it difficult to get out of.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_of_marriage
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