How do I come out to my family?

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How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Halt Arrtay » 10 March 2020, 06:05

My parents are very supportive but the thing is that I am afraid that they will make a big deal out of it. I just wish that they would say OK and move on to the next subject. What should I do? :noes:
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Nebulous » 10 March 2020, 06:10

I’d wait until you don’t live with them anymore, that way they’ll have no power over you if they don’t agree with a gay lifestyle. However, if you feel they’ll be cool with it, just do it like a band aid... rip it off and just say it.
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Halt Arrtay » 10 March 2020, 06:16

that's the thing, they are very supportive of the idea of me being straight, gay, whatever. But I'm afraid of them making a massive deal out of it, and plus I never used band-aides, I used electrical tape.
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Nebulous » 10 March 2020, 06:21

Halt Arrtay wrote:that's the thing, they are very supportive of the idea of me being straight, gay, whatever. But I'm afraid of them making a massive deal out of it, and plus I never used band-aides, I used electrical tape.


They might, at first, but time will pass and the idea of you being gay will become normal to them.
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Halt Arrtay » 10 March 2020, 06:31

I've tried, but when ever I show them something I did or made for school they'd send pictures of it out to all of my family even though it was half-ass'ed. Just like my hacksaw for metal fab. they also have a tendency to shut down if they don't think my opinion is worthy enough of the conversation.
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Nebulous » 10 March 2020, 06:48

Halt Arrtay wrote:I've tried,


Tried to tell them you were gay? What did you say?
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Halt Arrtay » 10 March 2020, 07:12

Well I have dropped hints, like leaving gay romantic books around or stuff like that but they never said anything and are as clueless as ever.
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Nebulous » 10 March 2020, 07:21

Halt Arrtay wrote:Well I have dropped hints, like leaving gay romantic books around or stuff like that but they never said anything and are as clueless as ever.


Well they aren’t mind readers... if anything, dropping hints and leaving clues just confuses them further. You just need to be up front and say it.
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Halt Arrtay » 10 March 2020, 07:34

OK I'll try.
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Nebulous » 10 March 2020, 07:40

Halt Arrtay wrote:OK I'll try.


Good luck! Let us know how it goes!
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Halt Arrtay » 10 March 2020, 07:42

Will do. :noes:
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby erti » 10 March 2020, 07:47

Who knows they might just say “we knew it all along”
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Halt Arrtay » 11 March 2020, 05:21

I might need some more encouragement. So far I've tried to say it 3 times but couldn't work up the courage. What else should I do?
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Nebulous » 11 March 2020, 06:12

Halt Arrtay wrote:I might need some more encouragement. So far I've tried to say it 3 times but couldn't work up the courage. What else should I do?


Write it on a piece of paper and hand it to them?
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Eos » 11 March 2020, 08:05

If you want to feel less worried, like me, you can try to talk about any LGBT subject (like the gay prides, adoptions,...) to check their opinion. It's a good way to have an idea without compromising yourself.
Of course you shouldn't bring the subject in the open, it needs to happen when something somewhat related happened (like we discussed about this in school, there is some event coming up,...).

For my father, I just decided to talk about it as I was sick of hiding it. Best decision in my life.
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Capt._Trips » 11 March 2020, 09:09

If your leaving hints i doubt there as clueless as you think. They just haven't mentioned it to you.

If you want to do it. Just do it. Especially if you feel they'll be supportive.
Of course your family is gonna talk. Theres nothing you can do about that.
No one can encourage you. You have to just set your mind and do it.

This is coming from a closted guy. :P
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Eventually" jimi hendrix

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Edna St. Vincent Millay — 'My candle burns at both ends;It will not last the night; But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—It gives a lovely light!'
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Halt Arrtay » 11 March 2020, 22:53

Nebulous wrote:
Halt Arrtay wrote:I might need some more encouragement. So far I've tried to say it 3 times but couldn't work up the courage. What else should I do?


Write it on a piece of paper and hand it to them?



That might help. Thank you for the idea.
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby John27 » 11 March 2020, 23:09

Halt Arrtay wrote:Well I have dropped hints, like leaving gay romantic books around or stuff like that but they never said anything and are as clueless as ever.


Like a post above suggests, i'd guess it's very likely they've figured the clues out. Even without the clues, they might have figured it out. Parents sometimes even have a good sense their son will turn out gay when he's a small child.

From what I've read elsewhere, it's not uncommon for parents to know for whatever reason that their child is gay, and say nothing until their child officially comes out.
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby John27 » 11 March 2020, 23:13

Nebulous wrote:Write it on a piece of paper and hand it to them?


I think this is a good possible approach. It's been successful for others. And it does allow one to carefully word it.

And (of course) it doesn't have to be paper. It can be e-mail. Text. Clay tablet. Whatever.

Another thought: it might be easier doing one parent at a time. (This is not uncommon.)
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Re: How do I come out to my family?

Unread postby Halt Arrtay » 11 March 2020, 23:16

:3 I think I should put it on a clay tablet.
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