How do we feel about bath houses?

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How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Gaygoddess » 11 June 2019, 13:50

I'm really interested in going to a gay sauna in the nyc area but not really sure how to feel about them.. I'm curious to hear anyone's experience at the bath house :D
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Iamjava » 11 June 2019, 14:01

sounds like a good time to me. i think i remember penn (or was it teller?) writing about visiting a gay sauna..
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 11 June 2019, 19:27

What do you mean that your not sure how to feel about them?

I like the idea of them.... as a lonely and closeted gay guy they could be a pretty good (and relatively safe compared to meeting strangers online) place for me to meet other gay guys, make friends, relax and hookup if I want.

In reality though the one I've went to at least is rather gross inside, dark, frequented by old paedophiles (I assume) as well as creepy guys who stalk you and keep trying to make advances on you after already telling them you aren't interested.

I don't go there very often then. I have been a few times and gotten lucky that there were other young guys I am interested in there, but I've also went a few times where the place is practically dead inside except for old men who like I said above stalk you and make advances on you despite there being like a 50 year age gap between us.

Wish the owner would do something to make the place more welcoming - and I think there is a lot they could do to make the place more like a spa and that young guys would want to go to - than a sleazy dirty sex club for old men, but they aren't interested.

I imagine saunas vary a lot from place to place, but I suspect also that there are a lot like I described.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Iamjava » 11 June 2019, 19:38

:shrug: correct me if im wrong, but why would a paedophile be patronizing an establishment catering solely to adults?
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 11 June 2019, 19:56

Iamjava wrote::shrug: correct me if im wrong, but why would a paedophile be patronizing an establishment catering solely to adults?


I wouldn't be surpised if some 70 year oldish guy who makes sexual advances on me a 20 year oldish guy and doesn't take the hint that I am not interested would also like kids.

And I wouldn't be surpised if the place I went to is the local haunt for old men like that to meet and interact with one another.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Iamjava » 11 June 2019, 20:05

yes, because 20 year olds and 14 year olds are much alike. it could also just be that many men prefer a younger person. after all, you dont exactly see granny super models.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 11 June 2019, 20:24

Iamjava wrote:yes, because 20 year olds and 14 year olds are much alike. it could also just be that many men prefer a younger person. after all, you dont exactly see granny super models.


You can go ahead and call it judgemental if you want, but I don't care because its my paranoid judgement here that keeps me safe.

I do think that its pretty strange for men that age to frequent saunas, hit on young men and not stop when you politely decline, you can make of it what you want, but personally I think its gross, creepy and perverted. I do accept that old men have as much right to be there as me, but they can't expect someone my age to be interested in them, and they should back off when asked.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Iamjava » 11 June 2019, 20:34

there are young people that enjoy the company of older people. i suppose the only mistake theyre making is continuing their advances after being refused.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 11 June 2019, 20:49

Iamjava wrote:there are young people that enjoy the company of older people.


I am not judging there (well a little, I still think thats weird), but whatever floats your boat I suppose.

I think most young people would be intimidated and put off by the age gap so as hypocritical as it might be I think its more acceptable for a younger person to approach an older person than the other way around, because it allows them to decide they are ok with it.

And if older people do approach young people yeah they should back off when asked.

You don't think its a little odd or perverted even for old men to make approacches towards men much younger than them? What if it was an old man and a young girl would that make a difference?

Even in a sexual environment I still think its a bit odd, and at least if they are going to do it they could be a bit less stalkerish and predatory about it and certainly take the hint when the recipient isn't interested.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Eryx » 11 June 2019, 21:08

Saunas here (at least the two I went to) are very strict in regards to consent. You keep hearing over and over again that no means no and you can call for help if someone keeps following or ignoring your requests. Pretty good!
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Iamjava » 11 June 2019, 21:11

i do believe i agreed with you that they should back off when they are refused; however, it is still not wrong of them to ask. man or woman doesnt matter, as long as both consenting adults are happy. im not entirely sure why you consider it to be creepy, but that is your right.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 11 June 2019, 21:13

Eryx wrote:Saunas here (at least the two I went to) are very strict in regards to consent. You keep hearing over and over again that no means no and you can call for help if someone keeps following or ignoring your requests. Pretty good!


Wish mine was like that! I am always really cautious of how easy it would be for me to get raped in my sauna, because its dark throughout, very dark in someplaces and there are lots of places I could get cornered.

I don't really like going to the place but I've few other options. I feel pretty vulnerable there unless I can meet someone nice who can watch out for me or we sneak of to a private area together.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 11 June 2019, 21:20

Iamjava wrote:I do believe i agreed with you that they should back off when they are refused; however, it is still not wrong of them to ask. man or woman doesnt matter, as long as both consenting adults are happy. im not entirely sure why you consider it to be creepy, but that is your right.


And I don't dispute that its wrong of them to ask, but they could be a little more tactiful and they could do me the kindness of assuming that since there is a huge age gap between us that I probably would not be interested and may actually feel intimidated by them aproaching me. Hell they could at least strike up a friendly conversation first and put my mind at ease that thats all they are doing and not trying to hook up with me. I also don't mind them looking at me.

Not all the old men creep me out, some do leave me alone for the most part, but some of them certainly do creep me out.

There a lot of Maester Pycelle's in the place, put it that way.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Iamjava » 11 June 2019, 21:59

im sure that name bears some relevance to the conversation.

i quite agree with you that they would benefit from talking first; however, from the sound of the business its not exactly where one goes to find romance. in that case, im not shocked that there are people there that are more interested interested in sex than tact.

point being, if you go to a seedy place dont complain or judge people that you deem seedy.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 11 June 2019, 22:07

Iamjava wrote:im sure that name bears some relevance to the conversation.

i quite agree with you that they would benefit from talking first; however, from the sound of the business its not exactly where one goes to find romance. in that case, im not shocked that there are people there that are more interested interested in sex than tact.

point being, if you go to a seedy place dont complain or judge people that you deem seedy.


Come on dude. I am young, they are geriatrics who can barely fucking walk up stairs, and they are hitting on me repeatedly, every time I unfortunately come across them in the sauna.

They are also the same people who are in the sauna everytime I visit. I suspect they go everyday and stay from when it opens until it closes. Yeah it well creeps me out, but whatever thats just my judgemental opinion I know.

I am well judgy in a sauna, I gotta protect my precious behind after all! I do be polite though.

The reference was from game of thrones.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Iamjava » 11 June 2019, 22:19

i am 27. i would be flattered by them, and decline. if they persist, well, i do like being an ass...

all i was pointing out was the fact that you act surprised that seedy things happen in a seedy place. its like going to a bar and being surprised to find drunk people.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 11 June 2019, 22:56

Iamjava wrote:i am 27. i would be flattered by them, and decline. if they persist, well, i do like being an ass...

all i was pointing out was the fact that you act surprised that seedy things happen in a seedy place. its like going to a bar and being surprised to find drunk people.


More like going to a bar and finding the same nuisance drunks there all the time.

I don't think the place has to be seedy, and I am not surprised that old men are there. Their manner is just what is creepy. I mean they are stalkerish, persistent, they eye you up like a piece of meat, aren't mindful of the massive age gap between us and in fact aren't very respectful at all, straight up asking if you want a blowjob or something like that. With young guys on the other hand usually we act nervous around each other at first and there is a good deal of cruising, eye contact, and other discrete indications that we are into each other before we even say hello to each other.

Anyway I got your point ages ago and do agree that I am being judgemental and making a huge assumption that the old fokes could be paedophiles, but I shall nontheless persist in being a judgemental prick by feeling that the same old people who haunt the sauna daily from open to close and stalk the area hoping to pounce in particular on some young fresh twinky meat are fucking well creepy, and if I go back to the sauna I shall continue watching out for them and protecting my but.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby erti » 11 June 2019, 23:10

I see GSPK point and when I worked at a walmart-like store we had a lot of older men come in. Most of which they would blatantly stare at my breast as I helped them with what they needed and I couldn't do anything because I needed the job and knowing full well they'd play the victim and I'd lose my job. Because you know... respect your elders bullshit.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Iamjava » 11 June 2019, 23:23

ok, as long as you admit to being a judgemental prick. :keke:
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 11 June 2019, 23:27

I suppose I am being judgemental in blaming just the old people as there is quite a few middle aged men (although I kind of regard them as 'old' compared to me anyway) who behave exactly the same as I've described and in fact I get really creepy vibes from some of them compared to the even older guys. For example I once had a middle aged guy keep touching me whenever I passed near him in the sauna (I tried to avoid him but you inevitably bump into people in corridors) despite me removing his hand and telling him I wasn't interested. He certainly creeped me out more than any of the older foke. The older foke weren't as bad as to keep touching me, but some of them did keep trying to hook up with me and follow me around.

Either way whatever age people are its the ones who behave like this that make the sauna dodgy and seedy, and put me off going back.
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