How do we feel about bath houses?

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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 11 June 2019, 23:35

erti wrote:I see GSPK point and when I worked at a walmart-like store we had a lot of older men come in. Most of which they would blatantly stare at my breast as I helped them with what they needed and I couldn't do anything because I needed the job and knowing full well they'd play the victim and I'd lose my job. Because you know... respect your elders bullshit.


I think saunas might have given me something of an idea of what it might be like to be a woman against the 'male gaze' or fear of being raped, although I know its not quite the same.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby erti » 11 June 2019, 23:41

GaySpacePirateKing wrote:
erti wrote:I see GSPK point and when I worked at a walmart-like store we had a lot of older men come in. Most of which they would blatantly stare at my breast as I helped them with what they needed and I couldn't do anything because I needed the job and knowing full well they'd play the victim and I'd lose my job. Because you know... respect your elders bullshit.


I think saunas might have given me something of an idea of what it might be like to be a woman against the 'male gaze' or fear of being raped, although I know its not quite the same.


Oh rape is a real thing at any sex and any age. Not just male to female. Also Male to Male, Female to Female, and even Female to male. I was defiantly uncomfortable when my best friend told me my own grandfather was peeping on me while I was getting dressed. That would make anyone's skin crawled. Plus being a victim of rape and molestation as a kid it can be very triggering too.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Jryski » 11 June 2019, 23:42

Lol only went once with friends in china. They wanted to check out hot guys and I was translating for them. Not my kinda thing. I had two guys grab my crotch. One was younger and kinda cute so I just smiled and walked away. The other guy was like mid 40's to 50's. I told him no a few times and I think he got the hint and moved on to someone else. I could act all offended and be like how dare you touch me! But like.... its a sex club with rooms so dark you cant see anyone's faces sometimes so why act offended or surprised if someone touches you? Some dude did gave me a shoulder massage for some reason and then walked away after he was done. That was super nice of him! :awesome:

@Erti this is quite different than working at walmart. This is a dingy sex club people go to to have sex, suck dick, and butt fuck in the dark anonymously with strangers. Seeing how they have employees and people at every corner, I would say that it's kinda unlikely to get raped there. Rape usually don't happen openly in front of everyone. The male gaze I understand but at gay clubs and especially gay sex clubs, the "male" gaze is actually how gay folks signal their interest. It's that intense gay stare every gay dude knows about. Lol
Last edited by Jryski on 12 June 2019, 01:19, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 11 June 2019, 23:46

erti wrote:Oh rape is a real thing at any sex and any age. Not just male to female. Also Male to Male, Female to Female, and even Female to male. I was defiantly uncomfortable when my best friend told me my own grandfather was peeping on me while I was getting dressed. That would make anyone's skin crawled. Plus being a victim of rape and molestation as a kid it can be very triggering too.


Yeah I know, I think its different though as I can't get pregnant and don't face as many risks or a blatant misogynistic rape culture.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby erti » 11 June 2019, 23:52

GaySpacePirateKing wrote:
erti wrote:Oh rape is a real thing at any sex and any age. Not just male to female. Also Male to Male, Female to Female, and even Female to male. I was defiantly uncomfortable when my best friend told me my own grandfather was peeping on me while I was getting dressed. That would make anyone's skin crawled. Plus being a victim of rape and molestation as a kid it can be very triggering too.


Yeah I know, I think its different though as I can't get pregnant and don't face as many risks or a blatant misogynistic rape culture.


I was too young to get pregnant when it happen to me. Doesn't mean it's any less traumatizing. I'd imagine it'd be more difficult for men because of societies view on what is "real rape". It's just as hard on the man than it is on the women but a lot more likely to blacklash on a man who was rape because it's too crazy to wrap their minds around.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 11 June 2019, 23:54

Jryski wrote:Lol only went once with friends in china. They wanted to check out hot guys and I was translating for them. Not my kinda thing. I had two guys grab my crotch. One was younger and kinda cute so I just smiled and walked away. The other guy was like mid 40's to 50's. I told him no a few times and I think he got the hint and moved on to someone else. I could act all offended and be like how dare you touch me! But like.... its a sex club with rooms so dark you cant see anyone's faces sometimes so why act offended or surprised if someone touches you? Some dude did give me a shoulder massage for some reason and then walked away after he was done. That was super nice of him! :awesome:

@Erti this is quite different than working at walmart. This is a dingy sex club people go to to have sex, suck dick, and butt fuck in the dark anonymously with strangers. Seeing how they have employees and people at every corner, I would say that it's kinda unlikely to get raped there. Rape usually don't happen openly in front of everyone. The male gaze I understand but at gay clubs and especially gay sex clubs, the "male" gaze is actually how gay folks signal their interest. It's that intense gay stare every gay dude knows about. Lol


I don't think it makes a diffrence if its sexual place, consent is still important and if you say no or stop touching me then it means that.

The sauna I went to only ever has like 2 or 3 staff members on duty and they don't go around making sure people don't get raped. The place is pretty big, dark and lots of corners in the cruise area so it wouldn't be too difficult to get corned and dragged into a cabin and raped. Its possible, probably unlikely though and I am probably being paranoid, but I am scared of it anyway and really cautious incase anything like this might occur.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby erti » 11 June 2019, 23:55

Jryski wrote:@Erti this is quite different than working at walmart. This is a dingy sex club people go to to have sex, suck dick, and butt fuck in the dark anonymously with strangers. Seeing how they have employees and people at every corner, I would say that it's kinda unlikely to get raped there. Rape usually don't happen openly in front of everyone. The male gaze I understand but at gay clubs and especially gay sex clubs, the "male" gaze is actually how gay folks signal their interest. It's that intense gay stare every gay dude knows about. Lol


lol wat?

surely they're not gazing at their crotches and licking their lips and shit?
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 11 June 2019, 23:58

erti wrote:I was too young to get pregnant when it happen to me. Doesn't mean it's any less traumatizing. I'd imagine it'd be more difficult for men because of societies view on what is "real rape". It's just as hard on the man than it is on the women but a lot more likely to blacklash on a man who was rape because it's too crazy to wrap their minds around.


Sorry I never meant to suggest that its worse for women who can get pregnant, only that they are more threatened. Its terrible whoever it happens to.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Jryski » 12 June 2019, 00:02

GaySpacePirateKing wrote:
Jryski wrote:Lol only went once with friends in china. They wanted to check out hot guys and I was translating for them. Not my kinda thing. I had two guys grab my crotch. One was younger and kinda cute so I just smiled and walked away. The other guy was like mid 40's to 50's. I told him no a few times and I think he got the hint and moved on to someone else. I could act all offended and be like how dare you touch me! But like.... its a sex club with rooms so dark you cant see anyone's faces sometimes so why act offended or surprised if someone touches you? Some dude did give me a shoulder massage for some reason and then walked away after he was done. That was super nice of him! :awesome:

@Erti this is quite different than working at walmart. This is a dingy sex club people go to to have sex, suck dick, and butt fuck in the dark anonymously with strangers. Seeing how they have employees and people at every corner, I would say that it's kinda unlikely to get raped there. Rape usually don't happen openly in front of everyone. The male gaze I understand but at gay clubs and especially gay sex clubs, the "male" gaze is actually how gay folks signal their interest. It's that intense gay stare every gay dude knows about. Lol


I don't think it makes a diffrence if its sexual place, consent is still important and if you say no or stop touching me then it means that.

The sauna I went to only ever has like 2 or 3 staff members on duty and they don't go around making sure people don't get raped. The place is pretty big, dark and lots of corners in the cruise area so it wouldn't be too difficult to get corned and dragged into a cabin and raped. Its possible, probably unlikely though and I am probably being paranoid, but I am scared of it anyway and really cautious incase anything like this might occur.


Consent for what? To look at you? To hit on you? The moment you walk into a sex club you already gave consent to being propositioned. Whether you have sex with them or not is up to you but they can ask. If you dont wish to boink them then tell them no. They might try again a few times but you just keep saying no and theyll move onto someone else. If that place is as shady as you say it is, then definitely do not go. Stay far far away. You already feel like you're in danger of being raped so definitely do not ever go to a place that puts you in any situations that make you feel like you're in danger.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby erti » 12 June 2019, 00:04

GaySpacePirateKing wrote:
erti wrote:I was too young to get pregnant when it happen to me. Doesn't mean it's any less traumatizing. I'd imagine it'd be more difficult for men because of societies view on what is "real rape". It's just as hard on the man than it is on the women but a lot more likely to blacklash on a man who was rape because it's too crazy to wrap their minds around.


Sorry I never meant to suggest that its worse for women who can get pregnant, only that they are more threatened. Its terrible whoever it happens to.


No I didn't get that assumption at all. Just that it's more traumatizing for a women because of risk of getting pregnant but I see what you mean. Especially really young girls at age 11 getting raped and getting pregnant and forced into having the baby because abortion is immoral.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 12 June 2019, 00:08

Jryski wrote:The male gaze I understand but at gay clubs and especially gay sex clubs, the "male" gaze is actually how gay folks signal their interest. It's that intense gay stare every gay dude knows about. Lol


I wouldn't say they are the same. The male gaze is threatining and predatory. The gay gaze is a polite way of establishing whether or not too gay guys are into each other.

Jryski wrote:Whether you have sex with them or not is up to you but they can ask.


Yeah I never said otherwise.

The place isn't always as shady, you just have to watch yourself. I imagine every or at least most saunas are like this, and if I want to hookup with a guy there is really nowhere else to go unless I turn to apps.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Jryski » 12 June 2019, 00:17

Staring at crotches and licking lips? Yeah, that kinda happens when you're in a gay sex club and honestly it'd be weird if it didnt. People are literally walking around in there and theres people fucking and doing all sorts of stuff everywhere. Some people were just cuddling. You can sit across from them and watch while you stroke yourself and someone might come up and offer you a hand, a mouth, or their ass. Lol but at walmart? That shouldn't happen.

Lol the gay gaze is totally predatory and intense af.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby erti » 12 June 2019, 00:24

Jryski wrote:Staring at crotches and licking lips? Yeah, that kinda happens when you're in a gay sex club and honestly it'd be weird if it didnt. People are literally walking around in there and theres people fucking and doing all sorts of stuff everywhere. Some people were just cuddling. You can sit across from them and watch while you stroke yourself and someone might come up and offer you a hand, a mouth, or their ass. Lol but at walmart? That shouldn't happen.

Lol the gay gaze is totally predatory and intense af.


There's a difference between a sex club and a sauna though.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Jryski » 12 June 2019, 00:31

A gay sauna is a gay sex club. No gay or bi dude would go to a gay sauna just for a shower and some steam. Lol steamy action yes, but just steam? Nope.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 12 June 2019, 00:32

Jryski wrote:Staring at crotches and licking lips? Yeah, that kinda happens when you're in a gay sex club and honestly it'd be weird if it didnt. People are literally walking around in there and theres people fucking and doing all sorts of stuff everywhere. Some people were just cuddling. You can sit across from them and watch while you stroke yourself and someone might come up and offer you a hand, a mouth, or their ass. Lol but at walmart? That shouldn't happen.


I know and expect all of that to go on in a gay sauna and I never said anywhere that I wasn't fine with it. It still doesn't make a difference though if its a sexual place or not you still ask before doing anything sexual with a person and you don't persist with requests after already being told no the first time.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Jryski » 12 June 2019, 00:57

I agree you shouldnt have to do anything sexual if you don't want to. With some people you have to tell them no more than once. If that makes you feel unsafe, then don't go because it's easier to change what you do than it is to change them. A gay sauna is kinda shady to begin with so that kinda behavior is kinda expected from a few people everytime.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby Brenden » 12 June 2019, 09:37

GaySpacePirateKing wrote:The male gaze is threatining and predatory.

lol
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 12 June 2019, 17:39

Brenden wrote:
GaySpacePirateKing wrote:The male gaze is threatining and predatory.

lol

In all fairness, you haven’t seen my gaze. It’s rather penetrating. Literally.
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Re: How do we feel about bath houses?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 12 June 2019, 19:12

Screw me then for thinking that there was a bit of a difference between gay men using a cruising tactic in a sexual environment to discreetly establish whether there is any mutual interest, and straight men creeping women out with unwarranted sexual attention, wolf whistles and the like. Isn't that what the 'male gaze' refers to? I thought so. There is whole feminist theory around it with the idea of it being about society portraying women as sexual objects. Excuse me then if I didn't think it was appropriate to view a gay cruising tactic in quite the same light as it, but sure yeah gay guys can be creepy staring at guys too.

Brenden wrote:
GaySpacePirateKing wrote:The male gaze is threatining and predatory.

lol


Whats funny about that?
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