I don't want to be gay, but the urge is too strong?.

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I don't want to be gay, but the urge is too strong?.

Unread postby Handyman 1 » 20 October 2022, 21:37

I have to admit, men turn me on. I can't resist and although I'd rather be straight, it makes me feel guilty, and I shouldn't be doing this. But the urge is just too much. Anyone else think the same?.
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Re: I don't want to be gay, but the urge is too strong?.

Unread postby Marmaduke » 20 October 2022, 21:53

No. We’re mostly better adjusted than that and don’t really see ourselves as wrong, lesser or otherwise deserving of guilt.

You wanna do it? Do it. But we’re not gonna help you fetishise our lives as a perverse taboo for you to jerk off over.
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Re: I don't want to be gay, but the urge is too strong?.

Unread postby Handyman 1 » 20 October 2022, 22:26

Thank you. I can Imagine you and others are comfortable with it, that's great. True to yourself, but I was brought up to think to was wrong and shameful. I don't really think that's the case. and it shouldn't be. It should be celebrated. I suppose I am who I am, but I still struggle with my conscience. I 'll just have to learn to accept it. I can't change who I am, I just want to be happy with it. or struggle on and be miserable. I don't have a lot of experience . I have no gay friends, maybe if I did, it would help. Lol.
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Re: I don't want to be gay, but the urge is too strong?.

Unread postby Marmaduke » 20 October 2022, 22:45

That’s such a nonsense. You’re a 50 year old man, do you actually expect anyone to believe that it’s beyond your intellectual capacity to process a change in belief from when you were a child to now as an adult? That’s genuinely your position? That’s you’re incapable of change or growth?

“It’s how I was raised” is such self-indulgent dreck. It’s legitimately only true because you’ve convinced yourself it is. It’s a self-actualising problem. Put it to one side.

Except you can’t, because you don’t want to, because - like a bizarrely high percentage of men of a certain age that come here - you’ve framed it and fetishised it as a taboo. You only enjoy it because you’ve told yourself it’s “wrong” and so you’ll linger for a while, frequently telling us how obsessed you are with sucking dicks, longing for us to call you the disgusting little pig you wish you were.

It’s not that you don’t want to be gay, it’s that you don’t want to be the sort of guy that gets of on being degraded. But alas, I’d bet you are, because you’re bored and it’s another little self-actualising loop that it’s easier for you to sit in than step out of.
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Re: I don't want to be gay, but the urge is too strong?.

Unread postby asianduck888 » 26 October 2022, 07:56

nothing wrong with it, I do have believe in my religion and culture. but it is my own choice and I know the consequences of me being who I am. yet I still keep it secret but I embrace myself as pure gay, and I am happy with that. rather than keep denying it and took my energy to think about that. Even if I am Bisex, I don't care I just love sex. I don't care about labels people put on me.
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Re: I don't want to be gay, but the urge is too strong?.

Unread postby colby100 » 27 October 2022, 01:28

Growing up, I had the same feelings as you are having. It took me many years to accept that I was gay even though I was taught the being gay was bad. It may take some time to figure things out and that's okay.
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Re: I don't want to be gay, but the urge is too strong?.

Unread postby NobodySpecial » 15 November 2022, 18:21

Handyman 1 wrote:Thank you. I can Imagine you and others are comfortable with it, that's great. True to yourself, but I was brought up to think to was wrong and shameful. I don't really think that's the case. and it shouldn't be. It should be celebrated. I suppose I am who I am, but I still struggle with my conscience. I 'll just have to learn to accept it. I can't change who I am, I just want to be happy with it. or struggle on and be miserable. I don't have a lot of experience . I have no gay friends, maybe if I did, it would help. Lol.


I'm not sure where you think most of us grew up, but it is kind of difficult to grow up in most cultures and not think that anything straying from the dominant heterosexual norm is something that is celebrated. Most of us all had to deal with societal pressures to conform to the norm. Struggling to accept oneself in this area is what most of us deal with at some point.

Note, I am from the mid-west of the US, but I cannot imagine it being a whole lot different than your life in the UK. I'm just a tad bit older than you -- (I'll be 63 in early December.) I didn't have sex with anybody until I was 21.5 years old because I was so afraid of the consequences of acting upon these non-standard urges.

Anyway, I could go on an on, but the fact is that sometime you have to say fuck to all those voices that were fed to you all your life about how wrong physically, emotionally, spiritually it is to be gay. The fact is that most of the ones who spoon fed you this opinion have nothing better to do than to judge others because their own pathetic lives suck. Turn off those voices. If you are a religious person think about this. Do you really think that God spends all his time worrying about what you do with your penis, ass, mouth, hands, lips...? Don't you think that such a God would worry more about how you treat others and the rest of his creation?
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Re: I don't want to be gay, but the urge is too strong?.

Unread postby Connor52 » 22 November 2022, 08:39

Hello,

As a younger person, I also found myself in the same situation as you. But as you said, the urge was too strong and in the end I gave in and I don't regret my decision. I feel more liberated today.
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