I have decided to spend my life alone

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I have decided to spend my life alone

Unread postby orionagora » 6 August 2021, 20:52

Have you ever felt like a whole community just resents you for being who you are? Heck this is our origin story as lgbt...
However, it gets worse when you are all alone with a mental illness. I"ve spent my entire life looking desperately for the one. The ultimate man who I would spend my life with.
I've dret of dates, long walks on the beach, getaway vacations....
Yet I didn't even get passed the first date. I'm just too ugly and uninteresting to people.
I got stood up, blocked, mocked....
Around here, being a femboy with a butch appearance is frownd upon by both gay people and society in general.
I've tried to change, but I couldn't cut away a chunck of my personality.....
loneliness is hard you guys, but it seems the only option for I can't take anymore humiliation and abuse
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Re: I have decided to spend my life alone

Unread postby Marmaduke » 6 August 2021, 21:19

You’re 30 years old.

“I’ve spent my entire life looking desperately for the one”is a ridiculously melodramatic statement when we remember that for the first 18 years, you we’re a child. I don’t care what lie you tell me pretending otherwise, you did not hit your 18th birthday and think to yourself “alas, now my desperate search begins”

You know what other single guys tend not to go for in a guy? Hysterics. Calm down.
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Re: I have decided to spend my life alone

Unread postby Severelius » 6 August 2021, 21:59

You are the same age as me. Stop being melodramatic.

If you're being more melodramatic and self-deprecating about your love life than I am about mine, you officially need to get a serious grip on yourself.
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Re: I have decided to spend my life alone

Unread postby McTaggartfan » 25 August 2021, 08:33

orionagora wrote:Have you ever felt like a whole community just resents you for being who you are? Heck this is our origin story as lgbt...
However, it gets worse when you are all alone with a mental illness. I"ve spent my entire life looking desperately for the one. The ultimate man who I would spend my life with.
I've dret of dates, long walks on the beach, getaway vacations....
Yet I didn't even get passed the first date. I'm just too ugly and uninteresting to people.
I got stood up, blocked, mocked....
Around here, being a femboy with a butch appearance is frownd upon by both gay people and society in general.
I've tried to change, but I couldn't cut away a chunck of my personality.....
loneliness is hard you guys, but it seems the only option for I can't take anymore humiliation and abuse


Loneliness is, indeed, immensely hard to overcome and especially when it occurs either in a chronic form or else as a symptom of a mental illness. Not just that, but loneliness is unpleasant to say the least and, in some cases, it can approach the point of being so painful as to be unbearable.

If I may offer a couple brief remarks in reaction to what you've posted, I should say, first, that you seem to be engaging in a rather unhelpful sort of all-or-nothing thinking. From what you've written it sounds to me that you've come to focus so fervently on finding "the one," that from the outset of your attempts at dating you've altogether dismissed, ahead of even meeting him, anyone who isn't "the ultimate man." As Marmaduke and Severelius not only point out with respect to you in their above posts, but also themselves serve as illustrations: people are not perfect and, oftentimes, they are incredibly far from perfection (or even maximal romantic compatibility with you). And since this is the case, its exceedingly important to recognize that you've an alternative to the two, extreme options you suggested—namely, the options of either (i) dating, but having to put up with "humiliation and abuse" from some people, or (ii) giving up entirely on your search for a partner. The third possibility before you, which you seem not to have noticed, is the idea of accepting the imperfection of those you'll meet in the course of your dating life, as well as of accepting that those persons will be incompletely compatible with you (i.e. they won't be the "ultimate man" or the "one"). And this course of action seems the best for you, to be honest; since when you can't have the very best or the ideal, its still better to have something (even though it be imperfect) than have nothing at all.

Anyway, I don't know how much sense I've managed to make here; but, with luck, perhaps I have communicated my advice adequately and you find something of worth or use in it.
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Re: I have decided to spend my life alone

Unread postby pozboro » 25 August 2021, 16:25

Loneliness sucks. I decided NOT to feel lonely any more and to take pleasure in my independence. Also, having been in a 'bad' relationship, I am thankful to be free of that.

I gave up relationship hunting for same but different reasons as you describe. I wasn't finding it helpful or enjoyable, so it was better to jettison the negative and be happy with who I am and how I'm able to live, even if it's not ideal or what 'society' calls 'normal.'

That doesn't mean I'm completely closed off to the idea of romance or a relationship. No, I'm just not expending energy towards that.

Your choice is to be happy with who you are (even if it makes things a bit more of a challenge) OR to be miserable because of who you are not.

Choose happiness and joy. Find roads of fulfilment that makes sense for managing your mental health. Good luck!
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Re: I have decided to spend my life alone

Unread postby H1pp13_J0hn » 30 August 2021, 04:55

McTaggartfan wrote:
orionagora wrote:Have you ever felt like a whole community just resents you for being who you are? Heck this is our origin story as lgbt...
However, it gets worse when you are all alone with a mental illness. I"ve spent my entire life looking desperately for the one. The ultimate man who I would spend my life with.
I've dret of dates, long walks on the beach, getaway vacations....
Yet I didn't even get passed the first date. I'm just too ugly and uninteresting to people.
I got stood up, blocked, mocked....
Around here, being a femboy with a butch appearance is frownd upon by both gay people and society in general.
I've tried to change, but I couldn't cut away a chunck of my personality.....
loneliness is hard you guys, but it seems the only option for I can't take anymore humiliation and abuse


Loneliness is, indeed, immensely hard to overcome and especially when it occurs either in a chronic form or else as a symptom of a mental illness. Not just that, but loneliness is unpleasant to say the least and, in some cases, it can approach the point of being so painful as to be unbearable.

If I may offer a couple brief remarks in reaction to what you've posted, I should say, first, that you seem to be engaging in a rather unhelpful sort of all-or-nothing thinking. From what you've written it sounds to me that you've come to focus so fervently on finding "the one," that from the outset of your attempts at dating you've altogether dismissed, ahead of even meeting him, anyone who isn't "the ultimate man." As Marmaduke and Severelius not only point out with respect to you in their above posts, but also themselves serve as illustrations: people are not perfect and, oftentimes, they are incredibly far from perfection (or even maximal romantic compatibility with you). And since this is the case, its exceedingly important to recognize that you've an alternative to the two, extreme options you suggested—namely, the options of either (i) dating, but having to put up with "humiliation and abuse" from some people, or (ii) giving up entirely on your search for a partner. The third possibility before you, which you seem not to have noticed, is the idea of accepting the imperfection of those you'll meet in the course of your dating life, as well as of accepting that those persons will be incompletely compatible with you (i.e. they won't be the "ultimate man" or the "one"). And this course of action seems the best for you, to be honest; since when you can't have the very best or the ideal, its still better to have something (even though it be imperfect) than have nothing at all.

Anyway, I don't know how much sense I've managed to make here; but, with luck, perhaps I have communicated my advice adequately and you find something of worth or use in it.



I'm seriously very appreciative of your words those were very very very needed I suffer from bipolar manic depression with severe mood swings with schizophrenia I was actually abused as a child raped as an adult and got into a relationship before I even knew who what where why and how I'm going anywhere so the person I got into a relationship actually got a half deal because they got somebody who didn't know who they were
So I'm a hippie I'm trippy and sometimes a bit lippy
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Re: I have decided to spend my life alone

Unread postby you&&&i » 31 August 2021, 14:44

You should find your love and marry
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