I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

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I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby scotty19 » 27 June 2020, 08:49

Hey!

This will probably sound weird, but I'm not trolling. Everything you're about to read is true.

I have a bit of a fat fetish. It's wrong though, I want to get rid of it, and I don't know what to do?

Over the last few years, my weight has gone up and down and it's been on purpose. I'm into the whole gaining/feeding thing. Like I'll purposely eat excessive amounts of food to make myself get bigger. It just turns me on so much to have a big belly. There are gay & straight gaining websites called Grommr & Feedee. Basically it's like Facebook, but for people who gain weight, people interested in literally feeding someone and people who "encourage". So when I had my account, I'd post photos of me look fat etc, people would comment and message me telling me how great I look and telling me to get fatter.

I've always been a healthy person - like even if I have eaten lots, I've always gone cycling, to the gym... I can walk for miles and miles too. So it's not like I've been sat inside, on a games console all day etc.

Friends started to comment on me gaining weight. At first, I enjoyed it. But then I thought I started looking fat in photos. People have always said I'm handsome and I feel my face changed quite a bit and I didn't look as good. BUT... people on that website continued to tell me how good I looked, so the "gainer friends" would make me feel good and confident.

However, I decided to lose around half the weight I put on (around 40lbs). I'm now, according to a BMI chart - a normal weight, rather than overweight. I feel like my face looks a lot better so I feel happier with that. I was near to underweight before, so I didn't want to lose all of it. I originally looked too thin. My friends have commented saying how good I look now.

BUT... I now feel a bit "alone". Like I removed my account on that website ages ago. I barely chat with my "gaining friends" on snapchat or exchange photos. Plus I kinda miss being fatter. It just felt hot/a turn on to play with my stomach, and also play with other guys' bellies, and now that "culture" is gone from me. Like I feel like I can't have fun.

I really don't know what to do. I almost feel tempted to get it back so I can enjoy myself again. BUT... to the "normal" person, I wouldn't look attractive. I want to find love and I don't think I would if I put on weight again.

It's weird I know. But it's almost like a kind of sexuality. Like even if I go really slim or get a six pack, it's always going to be in me.

Just an idea of me before - I used to have 28 waist trousers. This went to 34 and 36. It's now down to 32 - so not as skinny as I was, but I feel happier now as I looked ill before.

The largest meal I ever ate was a McDonald's McChicken sandwich, chips, 40 nuggets (2 x 20 boxes) and 2 hamburgers. Where I've lost weight, I could probably only eat the main mcchicken sandwich meal with chips right now.

Any advice please? I kind of don't want to go back to it, but how can I feel more included? Like I miss talking to people about it. They're not really too interested in me because I've lost the weight.
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby ThatNomad » 27 June 2020, 11:38

Those who actively to encourage a lifestyle you feel is wrong are not your friends. They are also not healthy for you to be around, and socialize with. Also, a lifestyle of morbid obesity for the sake of morbid obesity, and large weight fluctuations can be incredibly taxing on the cardiovascular system, as well as a few others, and could ultimately take years off your life. I urge you to consider one thing, though. What most of the world tells you is optimal, being super skinny, with a six pack, is just an attempt to sell you an ideal, and the products to achieve it. Each and every person has a point where their body will natural exist healthily as long as they eat right, and take proper exercise, not gym exercise, just physical activity of some sort to be active. Don't fall for the gimmicks, in either extreme if you are hoping to be healthy.

And as for advice on how to not be lonely? You've already taken at least one step in the right direction by joining us here on Gay Forum. This is a great bunch of people, and even though I've only been here a few days, I already feel like part of the extended family they've created here. You say you enjoy being active, another step you can take is look for organizations in your area for active people. Hiking clubs, biking clubs, yoga classes, there's just so much out there. Granted right now, with closures that's not a huge option, but one day soon, we all can hope, it will be again. Just keep your options open, and keep a positive mindset. Most importantly though, fix your true desires for yourself, and your body, in your mind and never let them go. That's the best advice I can give. Be true to yourself, and stick to it.
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby René » 27 June 2020, 14:23

scotty19 wrote:Any advice please? I kind of don't want to go back to it, but how can I feel more included? Like I miss talking to people about it. They're not really too interested in me because I've lost the weight.

Mr Nomad above has some great pointers.

I would say it seems like your whole identity and sense of self are tied up in this self-destructive fetish, and you need to create a new one based on healthier ideas, interests, hobbies and goals, etc.

The first assignment I would suggest you give yourself is to create an introduction thread in the intro section on this forum using the template you can find in the pinned thread there, finding things to populate it with that AREN'T related to your binge-eating past as much as possible.

You must have (or work on establishing) other interests and hobbies etc. that are interesting to talk about that you could develop instead. Again, some great pointers in the post above. :keke:

Best of luck! We believe in you! :hug:
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby Eryx » 27 June 2020, 20:36

That's something I've never wondered about, so it's really interesting to learn from your perspective. I don't have much to add after the past two comments and I hope you feel more at peace with it soon. I guess the most I can help with is suggesting maybe you try to meet new friends who are foodies and enjoy eating new things, or going to new places, and are excited about food. That way, you can eat healthier while eating a lot, and balacing it out with exercise and a healthy routine.

There are plenty of guys who prefer overweight dudes and beer bellies, so I don't think you wouldn't find a relationship on account of you having the body you feel most comfortable with. There is definitely some dude out there who would love squeezing your love handles and laying on your chest. Don't feel pressured about being perfectly healthy, just make sure you are taking care of your body and eat what you want.
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby René » 27 June 2020, 21:23

Eryx wrote:There are plenty of guys who prefer overweight dudes and beer bellies, so I don't think you wouldn't find a relationship on account of you having the body you feel most comfortable with. There is definitely some dude out there who would love squeezing your love handles and laying on your chest.

It kinda sounds ("I kind of don't want to go back to it") like he'd rather choose to be healthy and find other ways to be happy now. It doesn't have to be obsessive, but if your life completely revolves around the opposite, that's definitely not good and is gonna lead to all sorts of health problems and suffering down the line.
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby scotty19 » 27 June 2020, 21:30

Hey! Thank you for your replies. I really appreciate them.

I really love cycling, and I am using that to lose weight (not much more as I'm much happier now). I love photography too so getting out and going walking is great too.

I think what I mean by it.. as much as I like slimmer guys too, I do love bigger guys. I guess it's "fetish". It's just an annoying one and I want it gone.

The guys I've been speaking to, basically they've encouraged me to gain weight. They made me feel positive and I loved it. Plus it just turned me on like crazy.

However, some photos of me that I had taken... I just looked fat and I thought I'd change it. So I basically stopped "gaining" (so eating food I shouldn't - excessive amounts`). I've always been active and it's what has helped me lose so quickly... I basically just have my 3 main meals a day and that's it. Previously, I'd eat a whole bag of cookies which was like 1000 calories - just as a snack.

I agree with you all. It's not healthy. I know it's wrong. I just want it gone from me but it's something that will always be with me. Like I don't want one part of my brain to tell me to go for it again. It's unhealthy and bad... plus expensive!

I just don't know what to do. I want the thoughts to go.
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby Ander1969 » 28 June 2020, 23:23

Anyone who'd encourage you to lead an unhealthy lifestyle are not your friends, especially if they exist only on the web. Yo-yo dieting is very stressful in your heart. If you like chubby guys, that's cool, give me a call :keke: , but don't force it upon yourself just to please others. Find new friends.
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby Ander1969 » 30 June 2020, 19:30

And, being overweight doesn't necessarily mean unhealthy. There are tons of skinny people who are very unhealthy. Just take care of you.
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby René » 30 June 2020, 19:33

Ander1969 wrote:And, being overweight doesn't necessarily mean unhealthy. There are tons of skinny people who are very unhealthy. Just take care of you.

Being 40 kg overweight is not compatible with being healthy.
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 1 July 2020, 02:58

René wrote:
Ander1969 wrote:And, being overweight doesn't necessarily mean unhealthy. There are tons of skinny people who are very unhealthy. Just take care of you.

Being 40 kg overweight is not compatible with being healthy.

That’s racist. Of course it can.
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby Ander1969 » 1 July 2020, 03:38

René wrote:
Ander1969 wrote:And, being overweight doesn't necessarily mean unhealthy. There are tons of skinny people who are very unhealthy. Just take care of you.

Being 40 kg overweight is not compatible with being healthy.


40 kg is not over weight, that is morbidly obese. That was not the OP's scenario.
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 1 July 2020, 04:08

Look, if you want to be fat without the guilt just do what Lizzo is doing right now. Instead of eating 1,000 cows a day try eating what 1,000 cows eat in a day, preferably the diet of grass-fed stock. Be vegan but eat the equivalent of an entire golf course worth of grass. Just be sure to hold in your belches and farts as much as you can to help with climate change.
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby René » 1 July 2020, 16:48

Ander1969 wrote:
René wrote:
Ander1969 wrote:And, being overweight doesn't necessarily mean unhealthy. There are tons of skinny people who are very unhealthy. Just take care of you.

Being 40 kg overweight is not compatible with being healthy.

40 kg is not over weight, that is morbidly obese. That was not the OP's scenario.

Didn't he say he decided to lose around half the weight he put on (around 40 lbs)? If around half the weight he put on was around 40 lbs, then the weight he put on before would be about 36 kg.

Of course there are other possible interpretations, so it would be good to have this confirmed.
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby Brenden » 1 July 2020, 16:53

René wrote:
Ander1969 wrote:
René wrote:
Ander1969 wrote:And, being overweight doesn't necessarily mean unhealthy. There are tons of skinny people who are very unhealthy. Just take care of you.

Being 40 kg overweight is not compatible with being healthy.

40 kg is not over weight, that is morbidly obese. That was not the OP's scenario.

Didn't he say he decided to lose around half the weight he put on (around 40 lbs)? If around half the weight he put on was around 40 lbs, then the weight he put on before would be about 36 kg.

Of course there are other possible interpretations, so it would be good to have this confirmed.

I don't think mathematical reasoning is going to get through to someone who thinks that because there exist unhealthy skinny people, "being overweight doesn't necessarily mean [being] unhealthy" — logic is clearly not his forte.
Disclaimer: All views expressed in my posts are my own and do not reflect the views of this forum except when otherwise stated or this signature is not present.

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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby ThatNomad » 1 July 2020, 17:03

It's not even clearly a passing acquaintance, honestly.
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby Ander1969 » 3 July 2020, 13:02

Brenden wrote:
René wrote:
Ander1969 wrote:
René wrote:
Ander1969 wrote:And, being overweight doesn't necessarily mean unhealthy. There are tons of skinny people who are very unhealthy. Just take care of you.

Being 40 kg overweight is not compatible with being healthy.

40 kg is not over weight, that is morbidly obese. That was not the OP's scenario.

Didn't he say he decided to lose around half the weight he put on (around 40 lbs)? If around half the weight he put on was around 40 lbs, then the weight he put on before would be about 36 kg.

Of course there are other possible interpretations, so it would be good to have this confirmed.

I don't think mathematical reasoning is going to get through to someone who thinks that because there exist unhealthy skinny people, "being overweight doesn't necessarily mean [being] unhealthy" — logic is clearly not his forte.

Wow. Now I see why this place is dying. You guys here are a bunch of dicks.
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby René » 3 July 2020, 13:13

Ander1969 wrote:
Brenden wrote:
René wrote:
Ander1969 wrote:
René wrote:
Ander1969 wrote:And, being overweight doesn't necessarily mean unhealthy. There are tons of skinny people who are very unhealthy. Just take care of you.

Being 40 kg overweight is not compatible with being healthy.

40 kg is not over weight, that is morbidly obese. That was not the OP's scenario.

Didn't he say he decided to lose around half the weight he put on (around 40 lbs)? If around half the weight he put on was around 40 lbs, then the weight he put on before would be about 36 kg.

Of course there are other possible interpretations, so it would be good to have this confirmed.

I don't think mathematical reasoning is going to get through to someone who thinks that because there exist unhealthy skinny people, "being overweight doesn't necessarily mean [being] unhealthy" — logic is clearly not his forte.

Wow. Now I see why this place is dying. You guys here are a bunch of dicks.

Not dicks. Just honest. There's less sugarcoating than you might find in most places I guess.

And this place actually has a very stable member base and activity levels. 19 active threads in the last 24 hours is typical.
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Re: I like being fat. But it's wrong. Help!?

Unread postby Eryx » 3 July 2020, 13:49

Ander1969 wrote:Wow. Now I see why this place is dying. You guys here are a bunch of dicks.
You've been sharing beliefs without sharing actual sources, and you're very unwilling to listen. We're gay men, not fairy princesses. If you're saying irrational things, we're going to call you out on it.

This isn't a place where you can voice crazy opinions as much as you want without being checked. We're not going to just let you say crap to people who are just learning the basics of life because that affects them.

You may have noticed that I don't always agree with ThatNomad, who's also a newbie, but I don't have an issue with him at all, because he's respectful and has proper reasoning backing his arguments. You don't.

There are a few annoying things you're doing, and the problem isn't with us.
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