I think I've lost my best (and only) friend

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I think I've lost my best (and only) friend

Unread postby Eos » 1 August 2020, 18:59

Hi !
I was looking for some place to talk.

It might take a while, but I will explain how our friendship was and how it evolved to this day.

Around 2015, I found a lot of players on this game : Evolve.
Among those I met Mike, I reached him many things about the game, and somehow he is the only that I sticked with for many years.
As the years goes, one day we release we never really knew each other, we both needed to talk, so we decided to talk about everything about our lifes. How we were, what we had to fight through. A lot of heavy stuff. Since that night, we have reached a bond that I never felt before.

Not difficult for me since I never had any friends, and never was interested to have any.

But then it created such a strong bond between us, that we wanted very badly to meet each other. So the same year, I've been in his home (7 hours of train), met his family and especially his mom which I love very much.
He came to mine a few months later.
In the end we kept doing this everytime we could. I came twice at his home and he did the same.

It was great.

In order to celebrate something, we went to Amsterdam last Wednesday. He is a weed smoker. I'm not. The first days felt weird, we were full of hope but we slowly realized something was off. We had different rythms. Different goals. He thought he would have like things I did, but he didn't.
That was why we talked and agreed to have our separate ways in order not to waste anyone's time. This went really fine, we both shared the same POV.
However the next day, as we went back from the restaurant, I rested a little and took a shower to be ready for the night. And after that I realized he was not the same.

Usually, when he is high, he feel happy, excited about everything. But last night he felt angry, annoyed, sleepy, I don't know, I can't quite put it into words. I suddenly felt in no mood to go out with him. I felt he was gonna be annoying. He reminded me a lot of my drunk father.
So anyway, I told I didn't want to go. He said why. I told him he did not want to know. He insisted so I told him I didn't like how he was, that he was high (I usually like him the same when he is high but not this time, it didn't felt the same at all). So he got angry, he kept asking the same questions so I just took my earphones and completely ignored him.

Today we got our plans, we were both being alone the whole day. So we barely spoked. I asked him if we were gonna eat together tonight and he said no.
I send him a message to try to clarify the situation but he do not want to respond. I asked him if it was the end between us. I know I tend to exaggerate things, but he saw my message, and if he still is the same person I know he would have cleared my mind right away by telling me we were ok. And shut up if he know it won't go well.


So that's it. I feel like I lost someone really important. I'm even sadder that I won't see his mom ever again.
I fucking hate friendships. I can't get any of them right. But I liked not feeling alone...
Eos
 
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Re: I think I've lost my best (and only) friend

Unread postby Eos » 1 August 2020, 20:40

He just told me that he didn't want to put an end, but also that he is not willing to discuss it. I really hate this kind of moments...just waiting...
Eos
 
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Re: I think I've lost my best (and only) friend

Unread postby Eryx » 2 August 2020, 14:47

He's just mad at you, it doesn't have to be the end of everything. Give it time and talk to him again.
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Re: I think I've lost my best (and only) friend

Unread postby Eos » 2 August 2020, 18:22

Eryx wrote:He's just mad at you, it doesn't have to be the end of everything. Give it time and talk to him again.


Well we talked a bit today.
I kinda repeated what we agreed upon. I did not want to create any issue so I didn't bring what was wrong with him that night. In the end it was just a symptom of what was wrong about our trip together. So I just said that I didn't care which fault it was (which is true), I asked him if we could just learn from this mistake and move on. He seemed to agree on that.

I guess we will see.
Eos
 
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Re: I think I've lost my best (and only) friend

Unread postby Eryx » 2 August 2020, 21:19

There you go.
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