Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

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Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby raviolifaceman » 5 November 2013, 18:12

There is no app advertising casual sex with nearly as much gravitas as Grindr or Jack'd. I can't attend a gay pride event with being asked for sex. Gay forums are completely full of pictures of 'cute' or 'hot' people wearing next to no clothes. Is this just a result of repression? How does sexual repression result in promiscuity?
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby GayHoosier » 6 November 2013, 01:25

raviolifaceman wrote:There is no app advertising casual sex with nearly as much gravitas as Grindr or Jack'd. I can't attend a gay pride event with being asked for sex. Gay forums are completely full of pictures of 'cute' or 'hot' people wearing next to no clothes. Is this just a result of repression? How does sexual repression result in promiscuity?


I think so, this site and so many others are just hooked on gay sex. I'm not sure how to answer your last question, as I am not sexually active nor promiscuous.
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby Descuff » 6 November 2013, 02:32

"Is it a result of repression?" Hmm.

Nah. Usually in a regular hetero relationship males are the ones who really want the sex. Now take two males in a homo relationship. Both are more likely to have sex because they are basically males. We as males have it imprinted (this is certainly not true for ALL males but in general) to have sex. Gay apps like Grindr and Jack'd is no different then going to a gay bar but it open up so much more. What better place to find sex then an app with other people looking for the "exact same thing"? In the case of pictures, it's basically like showing a lady in a bra/bikini for hetero; it fuel the thought of sexual attraction.

Just my observation.
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby Derek » 6 November 2013, 02:35

Gay guys are promiscuous because they're guys. If women had the same libido, society would grind to a halt. A moment of silence for our heterosexual brothers and their noble sacrifice.
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby Josh » 6 November 2013, 02:44

I don't think promiscuity within the gay community is rife so much because of sexual repression, as it is because of sexuality repression.

Until relatively recently it was illegal for gay people to marry, and for much of the world that is still the case today. Even in places where gay marriage is legalised, there is still a hard-to-shake stigma surrounding being gay and it likely puts off a lot of gay people from even attempting to engage in an intimate relationship that goes anything beyond sex. While it's true that a serious relationship doesn't necessarily have to culminate in marriage, it nonetheless likely deters gay people if they can't share the same freedoms as everyone else.
Many oft-homophobic heterosexuals will criticise the gay community for its promiscuity, but they are often the same people who speak out against gay marriage. They deny homosexual people the right and opportunity to have substantial, intimate relationships. That doesn't stop a gay person from liking other people of the same gender though, and with sex easy enough to initiate and keep private, it is inevitably going to lead to a rise in promiscuity.
And then you have to consider how many fewer prospective partners there are for people within the gay community (figures go flying everywhere....1 in 10, 1 in 20, every 28th person etc.)... if you're homosexual and lucky enough to find a potential partner, that doesn't always make you instantly compatible for a serious relationship - many gay people will likely have had numerous sexual partners, without a substantial relationship coming from any of them. With the likes of Grindr speeding up that searching process, it does lead to a bit more promiscuity too.
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby Mod » 6 November 2013, 03:41

I think promiscuity in the gay scene in my country can be as much of a myth w/r/t how cautious or protective of their brand a lot of high powered scensters are. It seems like while the are promiscuous in maybe the mid teens to mid twenties they switch to occasional encounters but really just waiting for the right fit.
Of course that's not something that goes for everyone.
I know one guy who loved to take freshers and make them his bitch in usually one night stands with a riding crop. He was also the president of our student association's gay club.


raviolifaceman wrote:There is no app advertising casual sex with nearly as much gravitas as Grindr or Jack'd.

Because a lot of gays rely on networking to connect with each other. So the digital abstractions work well for them. Also I think a lot of the public have a weird obsession with gay sex so those sites are known more and media plays to that.

I can't attend a gay pride event with being asked for sex. Gay forums are completely full of pictures of 'cute' or 'hot' people wearing next to no clothes. Is this just a result of repression?

Sexual expression does not have to come from repression. I think you would find that the rest of the general public can be just as sex oriented to varying degrees of taste I mean look at this tragedy.
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 6 November 2013, 07:11

It's kind of sad that our brother forum for teens has a higher standard for what constitutes intellectual discussion than here.

Derek wrote:Gay guys are promiscuous because they're guys. If women had the same libido, society would grind to a halt. A moment of silence for our heterosexual brothers and their noble sacrifice.

I once heard a feminist in a TEDTalk say that women consume less porn and express less horniness because they're socialized not to. I'm not kidding.
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby raviolifaceman » 6 November 2013, 10:33

poolerboy0077 wrote:It's kind of sad that our brother forum for teens has a higher standard for what constitutes intellectual discussion than here.


Well, that's quite an unpleasant thing to say. If the standard of discussion in this topic upsets you, feel free not to post in it.

So most people seem to think it has something to do with the libido of men. This does make sense to me; after all, you don't see nearly as many gay girls at pride events 'scantily clad', and Grindr and Jack'd are quite clearly marketed toward men.

Perhaps promiscuity is something separate from the desire to 'express' oneself regarding clothes.
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby Mod » 6 November 2013, 11:58

raviolifaceman wrote:Perhaps promiscuity is something separate from the desire to 'express' oneself regarding clothes.

Yeah just like how an axle is separate from a wheel.
I still get the feeling you take it as given that repression has to go in hand with promiscuity.
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby Sherri » 6 November 2013, 14:44

raviolifaceman wrote:
poolerboy0077 wrote:It's kind of sad that our brother forum for teens has a higher standard for what constitutes intellectual discussion than here.


you don't see nearly as many gay girls at pride events 'scantily clad', and Grindr and Jack'd are quite clearly marketed toward men.



Perhaps you're just not looking ;). When I went to pride a few weeks ago in Atlanta, I saw just as many undressed girls as boys. The only edge the guys had was that the Broke Straight Boys came, while the girls didn't have an actual porn company representing them :lol:.

Men are just much more blunt with their sexuality than women are. It doesn't mean they're automatically more promiscuous, in my (admittedly anecdotal) experience. In a small community like mine, you tend to find out the girls have all slept with each other just like the guys have. Though really that could work toward proving your point, that the "gay scene" is more promiscuous since really it could, by definition, include the lesbians as well.

poolerboy0077 wrote:It's kind of sad that our brother forum for teens has a higher standard for what constitutes intellectual discussion than here.


If you'd like to dip your toes into the pretentious jackassery that is the ID section at GTF, go ahead and check it out. I never click on it for basically this reason :P.
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby Descuff » 7 November 2013, 05:42

poolerboy0077 wrote:It's kind of sad that our brother forum for teens has a higher standard for what constitutes intellectual discussion than here.


Based on a couple topics? wow.
I wonder how many people know this is down here
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby 1day » 7 November 2013, 07:23

poolerboy0077 wrote:I once heard a feminist in a TEDTalk say that women consume less porn and express less horniness because they're socialized not to. I'm not kidding.



To what extent is there a correlation between socialization and a lesser libido as you're suggesting, I don't know, but there is something going on here. Women are socialized in our society to be the "virgin" and non-promiscuous. And when they don't, look at what society does. For women, they get called slut, whore, the list goes on. For guys, it's a pat on the back. We don't ever have a word for a guy that sleeps around. You might hear "man slut" but that's not taken seriously-it's thrown around as a joke. On my hockey team, there are guys that I know of that already have been with 3-4 girls this semester and they brag about it (usually mocking the girls they hooked up with). They don't care and they don't have to care because we live in a culture that looks the other way (or even praises) when a guy sleeps around, but for a girl? They get chastised. Women are socialized to view sex and sexual things that is inferior to how guys are socialized to view the very same concepts.
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby Derek » 7 November 2013, 09:22

edit: Nevermind, I misread something.
Last edited by Derek on 7 November 2013, 09:32, edited 1 time in total.
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PostThis post was deleted by Derek on 7 November 2013, 09:33.
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 7 November 2013, 21:21

Woof! Look at everyone flip their shit. I see I hit a soft spot. lol

Also, I was talking about the mods immediately get ridding of non-I.D. topics.

1day wrote:
poolerboy0077 wrote:I once heard a feminist in a TEDTalk say that women consume less porn and express less horniness because they're socialized not to. I'm not kidding.



To what extent is there a correlation between socialization and a lesser libido as you're suggesting, I don't know, but there is something going on here. Women are socialized in our society to be the "virgin" and non-promiscuous. And when they don't, look at what society does. For women, they get called slut, whore, the list goes on. For guys, it's a pat on the back. We don't ever have a word for a guy that sleeps around. You might hear "man slut" but that's not taken seriously-it's thrown around as a joke. On my hockey team, there are guys that I know of that already have been with 3-4 girls this semester and they brag about it (usually mocking the girls they hooked up with). They don't care and they don't have to care because we live in a culture that looks the other way (or even praises) when a guy sleeps around, but for a girl? They get chastised. Women are socialized to view sex and sexual things that is inferior to how guys are socialized to view the very same concepts.

Same unfalsifiable gobbledygook as before. Just an empty narrative that can never be disconfirmed even in principle. Funny though that while heterosexual male promiscuity hasn't been disparaged in society, homosexual male sex, even when not promiscuous, is seen as excessive, disgusting, wrong, immoral, and dangerous and yet that hasn't deterred gay men from having just as much sex (if not more) than straight men. But that's the kind of information that's inconvenient. Better bring Gail Dines to spin this around.
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby 1day » 10 November 2013, 19:47

poolerboy0077 wrote:heterosexual male promiscuity hasn't been disparaged in society


Right, that is precisely the point I was making. Yet, although you obviously acknowledge it as true, it still is just some "empty narrative that can never be disconfirmed even in principle" ?


poolerboy0077 wrote:homosexual male sex, even when not promiscuous, is seen as excessive, disgusting, wrong, immoral, and dangerous and yet that hasn't deterred gay men from having just as much sex (if not more) than straight men.


Really? It hasn't deterred at least some proportion of gay men? The anti-sodomy laws, that wasn't a deterrent? Religion/these religious organizations that preach against homosexuality and even go as far as setting up crises centers to "heal and fix" those inflicted? That's not a deterrent? The risk of being caught and what would happen if anyone found out? That's not a deterrent either?
Even if it didn't deter them, more often than not, gays have to hide and conceal that fact that they are having-had sex. Crafting a meeting place or something where no one will know. How many straight guys have to go down some dark alleyway or meet up somewhere in secret? Heterosexual males don't have to hide their sexuality/their sexual endeavors. But for women and gays? They get slammed with innuendos, words, stereotypes, and even violence. For the straight guy? It's a pat on the back, a score, a high five.
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 11 November 2013, 01:42

1day wrote:
poolerboy0077 wrote:heterosexual male promiscuity hasn't been disparaged in society


Right, that is precisely the point I was making. Yet, although you obviously acknowledge it as true, it still is just some "empty narrative that can never be disconfirmed even in principle" ?

No because the narrative wasn't merely that sexism exists but rather that sexism explains nearly every phenomenon in which a difference among the sexes exists. So while "heterosexual male promiscuity hasn't been disparaged in society" that doesn't then mean that this is therefore a cause to anything else, such as why men are more sexual than women. Such questions are empirical and therefore one does not arrive at their answers through armchair conjecture advancing unfalsifiable narratives.

1day wrote:Really? It hasn't deterred at least some proportion of gay men? The anti-sodomy laws, that wasn't a deterrent? Religion/these religious organizations that preach against homosexuality and even go as far as setting up crises centers to "heal and fix" those inflicted? That's not a deterrent? The risk of being caught and what would happen if anyone found out? That's not a deterrent either?

These are certainly stumbling blocks but my point was that despite these obstacles we've still managed to be very sexual, so much so that promiscuity has been a huge contributing factor (along with lack of condom use and the riskiness of anal sex) to the AIDS crisis for the gay community from the 80s on back. You don't think it's amazing how despite being a tiny, victimized minority we've managed to make so much porn to cater to us yet women have not? THAT'S the point.
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby 1day » 12 November 2013, 04:24

poolerboy0077 wrote:No because the narrative wasn't merely that sexism exists but rather that sexism explains nearly every phenomenon in which a difference among the sexes exists. So while "heterosexual male promiscuity hasn't been disparaged in society" that doesn't then mean that this is therefore a cause to anything else, such as why men are more sexual than women.


To clarify, "my narrative" never argued the point that sexism explains nearly every phenomenon in which a difference among sexes exists.

Second, we agree that heterosexual male promiscuity hasn't been disparaged in society. So, in your opinion, why hasn't it, in comparison to women and gay promiscuity which has been disparaged in society? Is it just a mere occurrence?


poolerboy0077 wrote:These are certainly stumbling blocks but my point was that despite these obstacles we've still managed to be very sexual


We may still manage to be sexual, but it's not in the same way of heterosexual males; we have to hide it, they don't. Plus, they don't have obstacles they have to overcome. It's the same idea for women. Heterosexual males have it easier in society when it comes to sex-sexual concepts/constructions. For gays and women, it's harder. Why? This ties into the first question I posed. Is it just a mere occurrence that it worked out this way in society?
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 12 November 2013, 06:46

1day wrote:
poolerboy0077 wrote:No because the narrative wasn't merely that sexism exists but rather that sexism explains nearly every phenomenon in which a difference among the sexes exists. So while "heterosexual male promiscuity hasn't been disparaged in society" that doesn't then mean that this is therefore a cause to anything else, such as why men are more sexual than women.


To clarify, "my narrative" never argued the point that sexism explains nearly every phenomenon in which a difference among sexes exists.

I said "the" narrative (that being patriarchy). Whether you use it to explain everything or not is beside the point because given how it's unfalsifiable it effectively works this way. I'm going to drop from now on the concept of falsifiability because it doesn't seem to be sticking. In fact, I might just drop the conversation altogether.

1day wrote:Second, we agree that heterosexual male promiscuity hasn't been disparaged in society. So, in your opinion, why hasn't it, in comparison to women and gay promiscuity which has been disparaged in society? Is it just a mere occurrence?

What's sticking, honestly? I'm not arguing sexism, homophobia, racism, etc. don't exist. I'm saying that they in and of themselves cannot be argued to be the necessary cause of other observed differences among the sexes. For that you would need evidence. Just because racism exists, for example, does not mean that any perceived difference in society in which blacks might get the shorter end of the stick necessarily means its a product of racism. It may or may not be but we'd need evidence of this, not merely point to racism existing and sloppily concluding that it must be because of it.


1day wrote:We may still manage to be sexual, but it's not in the same way of heterosexual males; we have to hide it, they don't. Plus, they don't have obstacles they have to overcome. It's the same idea for women. Heterosexual males have it easier in society when it comes to sex-sexual concepts/constructions. For gays and women, it's harder. Why? This ties into the first question I posed. Is it just a mere occurrence that it worked out this way in society?

I'M COMPARING GAYS TO WOMEN. Don't compare gays to heterosexual males. The whole point is comparing a marginalized group with another marginalized group because it provides a counterexample. OF COURSE homophobia and sexism exist. Stop arguing points I'm not making. I'm saying that just because these forms of discrimination exist that doesn't mean they're the cause to other differences you notice in society.
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Re: Is the 'gay scene' promiscuous? Why?

Unread postby 1day » 12 November 2013, 21:25

poolerboy0077 wrote:I'm not arguing sexism, homophobia, racism, etc. don't exist. I'm saying that they in and of themselves cannot be argued to be the necessary cause of other observed differences among the sexes. For that you would need evidence.


I absolutely agree. But that still doesn't answer my question. You acknowledge that sexism exists, but haven't said why women in our society are systematically treated differently than guys when it comes to sexual concepts. Do you really need evidence to believe that? As I said before, we have all kinds of words for women who sleep around. For guys? There are none. Why? Why is the social construction of "virginity" pushed so much more on girls and women, than guys? Why are girls and women that are sexually active more punished by society than guys? It's fine for a guy to go out and hook up, whatever. For a girl? It's a red flag. If it's not sexism or if it's not patriarchy, then what is it? Again, is it just a mere occurrence? It just happened that way?
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