Joke of the Moment

Talk about anything and everything.

Re: Joke of the Moment

Unread postby McTaggartfan » 5 April 2021, 18:49

I just can't resist, because these jokes are hilarious (to me, at least)! For some reason, I'm in a bit of a Jewish joke phase.

Joke 1.

A rabbi was angry about the amount of money his congregants were giving to charity. He prayed that the rich should give more charity to the poor. “And has your prayer been answered?” asked his wife.“Half of it was,” replied the rabbi. “The poor are willing to accept the money.”

Joke 2.

Three Jews who had recently converted to Christianity were having a drink together in a posh restaurant. They started talking about the reasons for their conversions.“I converted out of love,” said the first. “Not for Christianity, but for a Christian girl. As you both know, my wife insisted that I convert." “And I,” said the second, “I converted in order to rise in the legal system. You probably know that my recent appointment as a federal judge may have had something to do with my new religion.” The third man spoke up: “I converted because I think that the teachings of Christianity are superior to those of Judaism.”“Are you kidding?” said the first man spitting out his drink, “What do you take us for, a couple of goyim?”

Joke 3.

Rabbi Moshe Karelman, a brilliant Talmudist and his star pupil, Yeshaya, are traveling to Vilna when they have to stop for the night and pitch their tent in an empty field.

After the evening prayers Rabbi Karelman and Yeshaya retire for the evening.

Some hours later, Rabbi Karelman wakes up and nudges his student.

“Yeshaya, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Rabbi Karelman.”

“And from this, what do you deduce?”

Yeshaya ponders for a minute.

“Well, astronomically, this view conveys the vastness of the heavens. Chronometrically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of His universe. What does it tell you, Rabbi Karelman?”

“Yeshaya, someone has stolen our tent.”
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Re: Joke of the Moment

Unread postby Nicholas » 5 April 2021, 18:54

Image
Rocket_raccoon wrote:and Marmaduke you are a bitch.
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Re: Joke of the Moment

Unread postby McTaggartfan » 5 April 2021, 19:12

Nicholas wrote:Image


Me!
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