Loneliness

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Loneliness

Unread postby JohnSalvatore » 24 April 2019, 19:19

Hi guys,

This is like my first post ever, here it goes.

Lately I have been feeling quite lonely. Not that I do not have any friends to hang out with or something. More the feeling of not being part of the group. I have been known a gay man for a while now, but only recently I have been wondering if that’s the only thing that my friends see me as. When I meet new people or talk about more private things with people I already know, it always ends up to about me being gay. This really has got me thinking. It feels like every straight friend I have, sees me as an alien to their straight lives.
On the other hand, I do not have many gay friends. Almost none. Never have I ever been to a gay club, or party. So I really feel like I have no-one to talk to, cause I don’t fit in with either world.

Just want anyone to talk to about this stuff as I do not have anyone else to share experiences with.

John.
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Re: Loneliness

Unread postby Eryx » 25 April 2019, 09:44

Welcome to the forums! Hope you stick around :)

Have you tried maybe inviting some of your closer friends to go to a gay club or bar with you? That way, they could become more comfortable with the idea of homosexuality and you, in turn, could end up meeting someone and making new friends. You'd feel like they're supporting you and they'd feel more like part of your world.
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Re: Loneliness. Hi John. I understand very well.

Unread postby Charlidun456 » 28 April 2019, 20:51

:(
JohnSalvatore wrote:Hi guys,

This is like my first post ever, here it goes.

Lately I have been feeling quite lonely. Not that I do not have any friends to hang out with or something. More the feeling of not being part of the group. I have been known a gay man for a while now, but only recently I have been wondering if that’s the only thing that my friends see me as. When I meet new people or talk about more private things with people I already know, it always ends up to about me being gay. This really has got me thinking. It feels like every straight friend I have, sees me as an alien to their straight lives.
On the other hand, I do not have many gay friends. Almost none. Never have I ever been to a gay club, or party. So I really feel like I have no-one to talk to, cause I don’t fit in with either world.

Just want anyone to talk to about this stuff as I do not have anyone else to share experiences with.

John.
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Re: Loneliness

Unread postby lightnight » 30 April 2019, 05:19

I can relate but luckily I have a few friends that aren't all about my homosexuality. We still have a few moments when they're discussing their straight people relationship/wedding plan problems and I can't relate but I actually feel relieved I'm not straight and going through all that.

Also, this is just a personal opinion but I feel like loneliness is just our default state as adults. Relationships and friendships aren't guaranteed, and their longevity even less so, and it's just on to us to cope with being comfortable and content with our own company in the event that friendships and relationships fail or people die.

Also, I think what Eryx said was a good idea. Definitely take them to hang out with more people like you so you don't feel like the only odd one out.
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Re: Loneliness

Unread postby uncut7in » 26 May 2019, 13:09

I live on my own, but I'm not lonely. Of course it's easier when you are retired like me, as I have been able to join in a number of clubs and societies in the village where I live. So I meet people and get involved in lots of activities, so much sometimes that it's nice just to have a day on my own.

I do keep my gay life completely separate. It would be nice to have a regular partner, but I do make full use of dating sites.
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