My Experience

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My Experience

Unread postby Martian » 3 July 2019, 10:00

it was on a Pride day and Istanbul is a very nice city in Turkey.

I've always been scared of going to gay parties for some reason. Then, I overcame it and went one of them. It was sooo way fun in comparison to straight parties. Nobody actually talked to me and I didnt talk to anyone. Still, it was really fun to watch and see people like you. They were wearing LGBT flags on their necks, they had LGBT make up, some men wore bra. I dont know how to meet people or if it is the best place to meet people. Because everybody comes there with their friends whereas i went there alone.

I never knew there would be such a liberal place in Turkey. This is my first experience and how I feel about it :D :heart: .
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Re: My Experience

Unread postby Eryx » 3 July 2019, 12:29

I'm so glad you got to go and enjoy it, Martian!
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Re: My Experience

Unread postby mxguy01 » 3 July 2019, 14:42

Martian wrote:it was on a Pride day and Istanbul is a very nice city in Turkey.

I've always been scared of going to gay parties for some reason. Then, I overcame it and went one of them. It was sooo way fun in comparison to straight parties. Nobody actually talked to me and I didnt talk to anyone. Still, it was really fun to watch and see people like you. They were wearing LGBT flags on their necks, they had LGBT make up, some men wore bra. I dont know how to meet people or if it is the best place to meet people. Because everybody comes there with their friends whereas i went there alone.

I never knew there would be such a liberal place in Turkey. This is my first experience and how I feel about it :D :heart: .


I'm sure if you would have looked closer you would have seen others going it alone too. Your're not alone in that! It actually takes quite a bit of courage to say "I'm going, even if I have to go alone". When I first started venturing out as a gay man, I had to do it alone as well. It was a time that my old life died and my new one had not begun yet. Felt pretty much like I had no a single soul to talk to at the time. It takes time to effect change even when your changing yourself. Keep at it. Just wanted to make sure you know you're not alone in that.

This year was my first Pride too. I'm fortunate to be in the San Francisco area. I guess my excuse for not going last year was it was just too "commercialized". It was an excuse for not wanting to go alone I think. Not sure but it may have been a period where I had broken up with a guy I was seeing so that option was closed. In my case I joined an motorcycle group and they took part of the parade as part of Dikes on Bikes who organizes the motorcycles. I even volunteered as a way to be involved more (a horribly trivial involvement but still involved). We were early in the parade so we finished around 11am. One of the people I seemed to get along with from a prior group ride had his BF there. We were chatting and deciding what to do and everyone seemed to scatter. So I was looking at being alone, again. The guy and his BF were headed around the corner to the events so I caught up and said "Hey, what you guys doing". His response was a friend "I'm hungry so we're getting some food and drink". I responded with "I need a beer". Short story is I spent the rest of the day with them and other friends of theirs and had such a great time. Still feeling a bit like "the guy on the outside" because they all knew each other but still way better than totally alone.

For the parade I figured everyone was doing something. So I figured I show as much queer as possible for me - socks that say "Gay" with my jeans rolled up a bit. Can't go too short unless I want fried skin from bumping the exhaust pipes on the motorcycle. I also had a Pride flag on my backpack such that when I rode it steamed behind me. When I rode home I kept it on all the way to my apartment door.

Maybe next year figure out a way to be involved. I see on the Pride SF site they had a way to volunteer so you can do that even if you know no one.

Again, you are not only one dealing with that feeling of being alone; many of us out there. Hope this helps.
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Re: My Experience

Unread postby Martian » 3 July 2019, 20:32

mxguy01 wrote:
Martian wrote:it was on a Pride day and Istanbul is a very nice city in Turkey.

I've always been scared of going to gay parties for some reason. Then, I overcame it and went one of them. It was sooo way fun in comparison to straight parties. Nobody actually talked to me and I didnt talk to anyone. Still, it was really fun to watch and see people like you. They were wearing LGBT flags on their necks, they had LGBT make up, some men wore bra. I dont know how to meet people or if it is the best place to meet people. Because everybody comes there with their friends whereas i went there alone.

I never knew there would be such a liberal place in Turkey. This is my first experience and how I feel about it :D :heart: .


I'm sure if you would have looked closer you would have seen others going it alone too. Your're not alone in that! It actually takes quite a bit of courage to say "I'm going, even if I have to go alone". When I first started venturing out as a gay man, I had to do it alone as well. It was a time that my old life died and my new one had not begun yet. Felt pretty much like I had no a single soul to talk to at the time. It takes time to effect change even when your changing yourself. Keep at it. Just wanted to make sure you know you're not alone in that.

This year was my first Pride too. I'm fortunate to be in the San Francisco area. I guess my excuse for not going last year was it was just too "commercialized". It was an excuse for not wanting to go alone I think. Not sure but it may have been a period where I had broken up with a guy I was seeing so that option was closed. In my case I joined an motorcycle group and they took part of the parade as part of Dikes on Bikes who organizes the motorcycles. I even volunteered as a way to be involved more (a horribly trivial involvement but still involved). We were early in the parade so we finished around 11am. One of the people I seemed to get along with from a prior group ride had his BF there. We were chatting and deciding what to do and everyone seemed to scatter. So I was looking at being alone, again. The guy and his BF were headed around the corner to the events so I caught up and said "Hey, what you guys doing". His response was a friend "I'm hungry so we're getting some food and drink". I responded with "I need a beer". Short story is I spent the rest of the day with them and other friends of theirs and had such a great time. Still feeling a bit like "the guy on the outside" because they all knew each other but still way better than totally alone.

For the parade I figured everyone was doing something. So I figured I show as much queer as possible for me - socks that say "Gay" with my jeans rolled up a bit. Can't go too short unless I want fried skin from bumping the exhaust pipes on the motorcycle. I also had a Pride flag on my backpack such that when I rode it steamed behind me. When I rode home I kept it on all the way to my apartment door.

Maybe next year figure out a way to be involved. I see on the Pride SF site they had a way to volunteer so you can do that even if you know no one.

Again, you are not only one dealing with that feeling of being alone; many of us out there. Hope this helps.


That's a lovely and encouraging message thank you! They have volunteering activities and other stuff. So, I told them I may attend one of them in the future and I need to move into Istanbul first though. I think my mistake was not to meet others. I had put another thread here sayign i was afraid of going to gay bar. so, it's a huge step for me after all :). I wish I had talked to them but I dont know. I was not quite sure how. I'm not quite creative for meeting people I dont know at all haha.
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Re: My Experience

Unread postby Jryski » 4 July 2019, 00:55

I like to sit at the bar and drink by myself while checking out cute boys. Its fun
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Re: My Experience

Unread postby mxguy01 » 4 July 2019, 03:04

Jryski wrote:I like to sit at the bar and drink by myself while checking out cute boys. Its fun

I like to sit at the bar and drink by myself while checking out something that's not next to dead and that's seen the inside of a gym in this decade.
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Re: My Experience

Unread postby Jryski » 4 July 2019, 06:59

Ha! As long as they cute, ghouls need love too :P
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Re: My Experience

Unread postby rogonandi » 4 July 2019, 07:18

It sounds like you had a very good time. I’m happy for you. :D
People love to follow fools; they don't feel so alone then.

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