Need a Gay sponsor

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Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby cougar4327 » 19 September 2021, 14:07

Would really appreciate having a gay sponsor. Having a real problem accepting that I am gay even that it is obvious that I am gay. Thank you.
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby Marmaduke » 19 September 2021, 14:30

Seems a bit late in the game to be getting that worked up about it tbh. I don’t see what £2 a month will do to help.
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby cougar4327 » 19 September 2021, 14:50

Acceptance is what I am looking for and looking for confirmation----Have I been a closet gay most of my life and would of had a more meaningful life if I would have become aware of my sexual preference? I have three failed marriages and numerous other straight relationships---all failures--no children. In addition, in the last five years I have had NUMEROUS Gay sexual encounters and none with opposite sex---any normal person would consider me Gay----why do I fight it occasionally?---more than occasionally.
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby Marmaduke » 19 September 2021, 15:18

You know why you fight it. You’re the only one that does. How the hell do you expect us, an international band of strangers, to tell you, a man we know nothing about, what he’s thinking?

Addressing that doesn’t need sponsorship. I mean, at least pad the proposition out. Offer me something. Otherwise, I’m just gonna adopt a snow leopard with the WWF. Will it see a more constructive outcome? I’m sceptical, but at least that comes with quarterly photos of snow leopards and a free cuddly toy.

I accept you for you. How you choose to label you genuinely couldn’t matter less to me, nothing is of less consequence in my life. Try to realise that nothing is of less consequence in yours either.
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby cougar4327 » 19 September 2021, 15:44

Thx for your comments---sorry I ever asked.
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby Marmaduke » 19 September 2021, 15:59

It’s ok, I forgive you.
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby cougar4327 » 19 September 2021, 16:27

Thx again--I needed that from you. I need to face the facts and join the LGBTQ Community. Having over 50 gay sex encounters the last few years with no straight sexual encounters should allow any logical person to accept he is Gay.-I should of done it long before now. By the way I could use a cuddly toy.
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby Marmaduke » 19 September 2021, 16:36

I feel like you need to hear this, if you’re going to go for full-time membership;

Nobody cares how many sexual encounters you’ve had, nor the timeframe in which you’ve had them. At all.
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby cougar4327 » 19 September 2021, 16:58

Sorry---Will not happen again. I felt I needed to do so to convince me by stating in writing how foolish I have been in trying not to accept who I am mentally, spiritually and sexually. It has not been easy---that is why I need a cuddly toy and you to kick my butt when needed. Thank you again. Can you forgive me and have you accept me going for a full-time membership?
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby Marmaduke » 19 September 2021, 17:03

No, I think it’s for the best that you go elsewhere. You’re right. You’re probably straight. After all, you’ve been married three times. Most straight guys only manage that once, so you’ve got those fuckin’ homos beat.
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby cougar4327 » 19 September 2021, 17:12

No cuddly toy?
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby cougar4327 » 19 September 2021, 17:15

Can someone be married three times and be Gay?
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby Marmaduke » 19 September 2021, 17:58

If you marry a dude three times, yeah. Did you marry a dude three times? Because I feel like the context is saying you married three chicks? And the second one married a guy that already burned down one marriage, so she had self-esteem issues. The third one? One can only assume with such a catalogue of evidence that it was a bad idea, she married you just to marry someone. So she might’ve been the sort of woman that wears a moo-moo and rides the mobility scooter at Walmart on account of her ankles not being rated for that amount of weight. If her moustache was substantial enough, I’ll give you half-credit for the last one. But you’re still hella straight, bro.
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby cougar4327 » 19 September 2021, 18:36

How did you know my third wive had a mustache and rode a mobility scooter at Wallmart. What do you have against someone with a mustache and drives mobility scooter and likes a dozen donuts for breakfast every day, not to mention a couple of chocolate milk shakes to wash them down? Tell me how can someone being on his knees over thirty times the last few years and be "hella straight"? Do I need to pay you £2 a month" to get the answer.
Last edited by cougar4327 on 19 September 2021, 20:00, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby pozboro » 19 September 2021, 19:15

cougar4327 wrote:Can someone be married three times and be Gay?


I have no doubt they can. Denial is more powerful than that river in Egypt.

So what keeps you from "being gay"? I put that in quotes because it probably also needs a definition from you. My "being gay" is probably a whole lot different than Marmaduke's "being gay" especially since all I now about him is what I've read over the last couple of months.

After thinking about what it means to be gay and what is keeping you from being gay, the next obvious step is what do you want from being gay?
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby cougar4327 » 19 September 2021, 20:08

What keeps me from "being Gay" is being brought up Catholic makes it difficult for me to admit one is Gay and still remain a Catholic. What do I want from being Gay is for me to accept it and others to confirm it----Marmaduke excluded..
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby Marmaduke » 19 September 2021, 20:50

If there’s a group of people that is all too sympathetic to an enjoyment of homosexual relations, it’s the Catholic clergy. I don’t know how you could let that cause you such consternation. They don’t even let their advanced years get in their way, so if anything you should take it as encouragement. I mean, there’s usually a bit of an unacceptable age difference. If that’s your bag, you should stop. Because, you know, morally reprehensible. But as long as you’re at least somewhat age appropriate, the Catholic Church is fine with it.

God, not so much, but you’ve burned that bridge now. If he’s real and you believe in him, you’re going to hell. St. Peter might’ve looked the other way for a one or two time thing with enough rosaries and a sad face at the gate. But you’ve gone too far. Damnation awaits. Seven levels down. The great plain of burning sand awaits and an eternity of running in circles for cardio. “The unbearing desert is the eternity of these sinners; and thus the rain, which in nature should be fertile and cool, descends as fire”

Sounds like a bad time. Nobody wants to fuck on hot sand. You should get to making the most of the time you have left.
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby pozboro » 19 September 2021, 22:34

Have you heard of Dignity USA "Celebrating the wholeness and holiness of LGBTQI Catholics"? I don't have any personal experience with them but such organizations are often helpful in reconciling the competing interests of sexuality and religious (in)tolerance. They, or someone you might meet in a local group under their umbrella, might be able to help you with the process of reconciling your upbringing with your orientation.

For anyone who has spent time in a non-accepting faith community, it is often hard to reconcile the two competing interest and Marmaduke lays is out in his own inimitable fashion. To be frank, I chose to turn my back on such beliefs as they weren't helping me in my quest for personal happiness and fulfillment. Also, the more life experience I've had the less willing I've been to accept the trappings of religious dogma, so that helps (me) as well.

Does it help if I accept your statement that you are gay? I certainly do. But ultimately, which is more meaningful, knowing deep inside you are on the correct path or having others say, "Oh look, he's gay"? Or maybe you see others confirming it take a different form.

I don't lead my life being "completely out" - you know, some caricature of what a gay man is - fashionable leather jeans, trendy shirt, rainbow earrings, Nas X blood trainers. I know I'm gay. No question. I assume most people can figure it out, am always amazed when they don't. but that's not my issue. I don't care if people assume I'm straight or maybe asexual, after all most people in society are straight and assume most others are as well. Same thing with being extroverted - most are therefore they assume most are.

Now the thing I struggled with early on when I was "coming out" was finding people who were more like me. Had no trouble finding other gay people and I certainly felt accepted as gay when I was in gay bars or at gay events or joined gay clubs. Could this be an area where you're having difficulty? Have you joined any LGBTQ organizations? I know many (most) are geared to the younger set, so not sure if that's an issue - can't remember if you shared your age or not.
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby cougar4327 » 20 September 2021, 00:39

Pozboro---Did you receive my private message?
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Re: Need a Gay sponsor

Unread postby NobodySpecial » 21 September 2021, 04:20

cougar4327 wrote:Would really appreciate having a gay sponsor. Having a real problem accepting that I am gay even that it is obvious that I am gay. Thank you.


I skimmed through your posts. I want to believe that your story is true, so I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. I may be younger than you, but I am no spring chicken -- I'm 61. We all go through a period of doubts, but I cannot understand why you would have doubts/shame/etc associated with your sexuality at this stage in your life. You must know what you like, who you might want to love at this point in your life. In one of your posts you said you have been married 3 times and no kids. I would think that unless you want to sire kids at this point in your life, what possible motivation would you have to want to find a fourth wife?

In one post you mentioned you are Catholic. Why would that bother you -- again at this point in your life? The way I see it is that there are way too many rules in most human institutions -- be it religion or for that matter government. My understanding is that if you want to condense Christianity down to its basic tenants it is to a) Love God with all your heart and mind, and b) Love your neighbor as yourself. I seriously doubt that God has angelic dogs whose purpose is to frequently sniff every man's cock, ass, and mouth to make sure there is no trace of an m2m encounter scent on those areas. I see it as a cafeteria. You put on your tray what makes sense (what tastes/smells good), and don't put on your tray what you don't like.. (There will always be somebody in the line behind you that thinks what you don't like is the most wonderful thing in the world. Let THEM put it on THEIR tray!)

As far as being gay/homosexual. Not all gay men think alike. I would like to think that past the testosterone egging you on to get off now and then, that at some basic core level, most of us want someone to love during as well as BEFORE and AFTER we get our rocks off. Likewise, not all gay men are attracted to anything male or anything with a penis. In my case, I never really was attracted to penises. My particular attraction was the male behind, muscles, broad shoulders, body hair.,.. Many of the secondary male characteristics that come from having testosterone. Sure I may play with a cock, but if Ii do it is because I love the man its attached to. Though I crave the male behind, it is meaningless if there isn't some feeling behind it. Sure I was capable of just sex with someone. However, I never could handle recreational sex with someone over and over again without either developing feelings for that individual OR wondering why I still want to interact with that person sexually. I just could not see sex like some kind of tennis partner. Sex is just too powerful an interaction to be comfortable just seeing it as something strictly recreational.

I've been monogamous with my wonderful guy for 18+ years now. I cannot do much now as I have severe ED (probably do to a combo of diabetes and heart disease. Still he sticks with me which just makes me love him that much more. I almost died 3 years ago, but he stuck with me throughout that ordeal. That is the best part of any sexuality -- finding that person who loves you and you love back.

Yes loving and wanting the love of man is my Achilles' Heel. Until the right man came along it was a curse from which I could easily be hurt. However, in the hands of the right man it makes being gay so fulfilling.

I will always wish I could have had kids. (I'm extremely infertile. However, if someone told me I could get my infertility fixed and sire kids of I would leave my partner for a woman -- I wouldn't. Likewise, I so miss being inside a man. Yet if I was told my ED would be cured if I just left my partner, that too I wouldn't do.

Why? Because what really matters is that at the beginning of my day, and at my night, all these 18 years I start my day and end my day laying beside the most wonderful man I've ever known. For me I would find that the real would be an afterlife where he wasn't there with me.
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