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Need advice

Unread postby Peter123777 » 17 August 2021, 15:21

Hey everyone,

I'm a bisexual, as I'm attracted both to men and women.
I've had a few short relationships with girls and a couple of "one-night stands" with guys. I'm into my late 20's and kind of struggle to find myself sexually and mainly in relationship terms. Don't know if I want to commit to a "long term relationship" with a girl or with a guy. To be honest, I've never fell in love with a guy, but I do find some guys visually attractive. I did however, wanted at least a couple of girls I've known and had found attractive to be my girlfriends (potentially). Can't see myself holding hands with a guy on the street, as to its only sexual attraction to guys I find suitable for me and not a romantic attraction. On the flip side, I'm kind of insecure with girls and also having a hard time to tell a girl I'm bisexual, as I feel most of them will be turn off immediately and "cut me off".

Is there someone who's also a bisexual and dealt with the same issues and conflicts?
What do you recommend for me to do?
Peter123777
 
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Re: Need advice

Unread postby maetest » 20 August 2021, 20:00

Hi Peter! I dont know if what ill say would help but im feeling talkative right now so i'll talk lol. I am 29, female, and only been with men. However, I knew around my teenage years that I also find women attractive. But i thought it was just normal admiration. When i was thinkinh about it, i also could not imagine myself holding hands with a woman in public so i thought okay maybe im not really bi, just an admirer of women too. But during the past few years, im more and more drawn to women so just this year, i told myself that i owe it to myself to explore and really know if ill be okay with a woman and the only way to do that is to be with a woman. And now i am with my first girlfriend for 6 mos now. When we are out, i am surprised that i was okay doing PDA with her. I think i actually am not even aware that i am with a woman, so i dont get conscious. In my mind im with the person i love and she just happened to be a woman. So my advice is try to be in a real relationship with a guy.i guess that's the only way we know if we are okay or really not okay with being with a gender. Good luck :)
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Re: Need advice

Unread postby Peter123777 » 30 August 2021, 10:32

maetest wrote:Hi Peter! I dont know if what ill say would help but im feeling talkative right now so i'll talk lol. I am 29, female, and only been with men. However, I knew around my teenage years that I also find women attractive. But i thought it was just normal admiration. When i was thinkinh about it, i also could not imagine myself holding hands with a woman in public so i thought okay maybe im not really bi, just an admirer of women too. But during the past few years, im more and more drawn to women so just this year, i told myself that i owe it to myself to explore and really know if ill be okay with a woman and the only way to do that is to be with a woman. And now i am with my first girlfriend for 6 mos now. When we are out, i am surprised that i was okay doing PDA with her. I think i actually am not even aware that i am with a woman, so i dont get conscious. In my mind im with the person i love and she just happened to be a woman. So my advice is try to be in a real relationship with a guy.i guess that's the only way we know if we are okay or really not okay with being with a gender. Good luck :)



Hi, thanks for your reply and sorry for the delay.
That's kinda interesting, I feel like it will be really awkward to PDA with a guy and even doing that in private feels weird. It's just a particular sexual attraction I have for guys and no more than that, as far as I can tell. It's like I wanna have a relationship with a girl, which I feel I could also have romantic feelings for her and not just sexual desire. Can you relate for that somehow?

If you could have a relationship with a guy you find really attractive in all aspects, do you prefer that instead of the relationship you're currently having?
Is it both sexual attraction and romantic attraction, your'e having for both genders? or is it just one kind of attraction for each?
Peter123777
 
Posts: 8
Joined: 17 August 2021, 14:52
Country: Israel (il)

Re: Need advice

Unread postby dee_rose » 1 September 2021, 03:29

maetest wrote:Hi Peter! I dont know if what ill say would help but im feeling talkative right now so i'll talk lol. I am 29, female, and only been with men. However, I knew around my teenage years that I also find women attractive. But i thought it was just normal admiration. When i was thinkinh about it, i also could not imagine myself holding hands with a woman in public so i thought okay maybe im not really bi, just an admirer of women too. But during the past few years, im more and more drawn to women so just this year, i told myself that i owe it to myself to explore and really know if ill be okay with a woman and the only way to do that is to be with a woman. And now i am with my first girlfriend for 6 mos now. When we are out, i am surprised that i was okay doing PDA with her. I think i actually am not even aware that i am with a woman, so i dont get conscious. In my mind im with the person i love and she just happened to be a woman. So my advice is try to be in a real relationship with a guy.i guess that's the only way we know if we are okay or really not okay with being with a gender. Good luck :)


That's great. I never really had a serious relationship but want one and just hookup but it does get lonely. I just met a guy I liked and we been fwb. But I kind of want to be a boyfriend, but it does scare me being out in public since I'm in the closet and wouldn't know what his like in public.
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