Reaction

Talk about anything and everything.

Reaction

Unread postby o.o.pickme » 31 October 2021, 20:49

First off, thank you for being here.

Since I came out, relations with my remaining family have been a strain. My relationship with my father in tolerable, if that. With my brother it's non-existent, we were never really close due to our age difference (7 yrs). So, we just put up with each other if we are in the same room. Both have become religious since my mothers passing. Nether was ever the church goers that I can remember.

My brother has five boys, all in private Christian school. I purposely have stayed away from them, so I can't be accused of anything. I'm just wondering what if one of the comes out and how my father, brother and his wife are going to react? I'm not saying that from what I've noticed there is a foregone conclusion. I'm not convinced that being gay is hereditary, but it seems to run in the family, from what I know, there is a uncle, cousin, and myself, all on my mother side.

Are their any others who might have insight on how to deal with my family should this come to pass or for that matter, do any others have family members that are gay?
User avatar
o.o.pickme
 
Posts: 34
+1s received: 7
Joined: 22 September 2021, 12:12
Country: United States (us)

Re: Reaction

Unread postby Jzone » 31 October 2021, 21:03

Out of 5 boys it seems likely that at least one of them will be at least curious about their sexual orientation. If so, how you deal with it is tricky in your situation. You didn't mention the boys' ages. It might be best to remain distant until they are 18, then offer support if they express any interest. Do they know their uncle is gay?

I am not speaking from experience. I am the only one in my family who has come out as bi or gay, but most of the family was very accepting. The rest I have less and less interaction with over time.
just an everyday boy — doing everyday things
User avatar
Jzone
 
Posts: 1377
+1s received: 1557
Joined: 21 October 2017, 17:58
Location: USA, Washington State
Country: United States (us)

Re: Reaction

Unread postby o.o.pickme » 1 November 2021, 00:04

Jzone wrote:. You didn't mention the boys' ages. It might be best to remain distant until they are 18, then offer support if they express any interest. Do they know their uncle is gay?



That was my thought, with two of them 18 and older, two still in high school, the youngest is approaching puberty. As about their knowing their uncle is gay, the oldest might (he is a friend on FB) but the others probably not, knowing their parents. Someday they will figure it out.
User avatar
o.o.pickme
 
Posts: 34
+1s received: 7
Joined: 22 September 2021, 12:12
Country: United States (us)

Re: Reaction

Unread postby Jzone » 6 November 2021, 05:49

o.o.pickme wrote:Someday they will figure it out.
Good on you then. Be true to yourself, and be there for them if they need your support.
just an everyday boy — doing everyday things
User avatar
Jzone
 
Posts: 1377
+1s received: 1557
Joined: 21 October 2017, 17:58
Location: USA, Washington State
Country: United States (us)

Re: Reaction

Unread postby NobodySpecial » 6 November 2021, 18:30

o.o.pickme wrote:...I'm not convinced that being gay is hereditary, but it seems to run in the family, from what I know, there is a uncle, cousin, and myself, all on my mother side. ...


My gut feeling is that there are many roads to one's sexuality. Maybe heredity plays a major part in some, maybe a minor part in others, and perhaps none for some too. I know nobody in my family who is gay. I did finally find a distant relative who is gay. (We share a set of gggg grandparents. That's pretty far back to claim it is heredity.)

As to your nephews, perhaps you may find out that they are not all straight. However, you might want to be available to befriend them when they grow up regardless of their sexuality. We are all more than just our sexuality, and I think more young men (gay/st8/bi) can learn something from their elders and care about them and what they have to share regardless of their sexuality.

PS: As for myself, I have two younger sisters (technically half -- on my dad's side). I was never completely out, but when I had a really bad bout with West Nile in 2018, I was kind of forced out as my partner needed to take care of me, but my sisters where my next of kin. They seemed ok with it. We kind of keep our distance right now (not hard physically given that they are on the west coast, and I am in the mid-west).

I was shocked by some of their conservative views on other things. The younger I knew was that way as she seems to be very anti-vaxx (She also thinks 5g causes cancer.) I figured the older one wasn't that way, but she seems to be strongly against mandates.

I guess I could understand if her concern is about fetal cells used to develop the J&J vaccine and used to test all 3 of them. However, I did also read that there are dozens of common over the counter drugs that also use such for testing. So it is rather lame to say one has a religious exemption on vaccines on that topic. The older one has twin girls, and the younger one has 2 boys and a girl. I doubt if they would ever reach out to me since I am so far away. If they do, that is fine. If they don't that is fine too.
NobodySpecial
 
Posts: 130
+1s received: 72
Joined: 19 August 2018, 01:43
Country: United States (us)


Recently active
Users browsing this forum: acpro, CommonCrawl [Bot], SnowWolf and 127 guests