Really like my best friend now

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Really like my best friend now

Unread postby dynamicdoggo » 9 September 2019, 13:18

Not sure how to go about this but I like my best friend now... a lot. He knows I'm gay and he's supposedly straight. There's a few things he has said which I've brushed off but when I think about it now, I feel like he was trying to tell me something but I disregarded it as jokes.

Thing is... I'm moving out to a different city and I won't be able to come back for 3 months or so. We will still talk but it won't be the same seeing each other. I don't know whether to tell him? I don't want to ruin a friendship but I kinda wanna try things out tbh. As I said, he has said some things which have made me question it now, but I was highly insecure a while back so didn't think much of it.
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Re: Really like my best friend now

Unread postby Eryx » 9 September 2019, 13:47

I told my best friend that I liked him when we were kids and it was fine, but you won't really know unless you do it...
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Re: Really like my best friend now

Unread postby NvM » 9 September 2019, 14:52

You are in the driver's seat on this one.

You should definitely tell him your going out of town for 3mo.
If he sounds interested in your travels you 2 can still remain in contact. Take it gradual but put him in the loop on the decisions you have to make while traveling. If things go well you can plan a temporary return weekend to hang out.

Almost everyone has had a very best friend and i can say with mine, our lives to date would have been much more successful together if we put a ring on it back than. Same sex relationships are no big thing today. No real consequences in developed countries. Even with this friend we have grown apart a lot so nothing is 4ever. Lost opportunity, maybe not for me given the social gay environment "back than".


The gay dating pool is limited and frankly it sux so buy a dog and be happy? Marriage (who you file taxes jointly with) is a POWERFUL decision in both your lives.
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Re: Really like my best friend now

Unread postby dynamicdoggo » 9 September 2019, 19:07

Eryx wrote:I told my best friend that I liked him when we were kids and it was fine, but you won't really know unless you do it...


I know, I still feel like he could be insecure about it still and I know how it feels so I don't want to make it any worse for him. :/
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Re: Really like my best friend now

Unread postby Eryx » 9 September 2019, 22:12

Just be very clear about things.

"Hey, man, I have to confess that I have feelings for you, deeper than just friendship. I have to say this to you because I'm leaving for a while, I'm going to miss you, and I wanted to clear things out before I left. If you don't feel the same way, don't worry, I'll never force myself onto you and I won't make things awkward, I'll just deal with my feelings and meet someone else. I can differentiate our friendship from these feelings that could go away. I just wanted to let you know, so that if there's the slightest chance we could try something, I don't let it go to waste. I hope you don't mind, and I hope that it doesn't make it awkward between us!"
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PostThis post was deleted by Jryski on 10 September 2019, 20:48.

Re: Really like my best friend now

Unread postby Jryski » 10 September 2019, 20:50

Eryx wrote:"Hey, man, I have to confess that I have feelings for you, deeper than just friendship. I have to say this to you because I'm leaving for a while, I'm going to miss you, and I wanted to clear things out before I left. If you don't feel the same way, don't worry, I'll never force myself onto you and I won't make things awkward, I'll just deal with my feelings and meet someone else. I can differentiate our friendship from these feelings that could go away. I just wanted to let you know, so that if there's the slightest chance we could try something, I don't let it go to waste. I hope you don't mind, and I hope that it doesn't make it awkward between us!"


yeah, Just copy and paste this and slide it over into his DM's! :P Eryx did all the work fer ya. What a trooper! :3
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Re: Really like my best friend now

Unread postby Eryx » 15 September 2019, 11:20

I wish people would follow through and update us with the details! What happened here? Did he respond? Did he just say "ok" and went? I love the fiction!
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Re: Really like my best friend now

Unread postby dynamicdoggo » 21 December 2019, 01:32

Eryx wrote:I wish people would follow through and update us with the details! What happened here? Did he respond? Did he just say "ok" and went? I love the fiction!


Forgot I even wrote this to be honest haha. But, after a night out of being heavily drunk, I came home and texted him that I liked him. The answer was 'No' but he said that that no matter what, 'we were still friends' but he just doesn't like me in that way. I thought 'cool, whatever'. I wasn't sad or upset weirdly enough. I just thought 'Awh, well we're still friends, that's cool' and then I went to bed. I just wanted it off my chest.

But really for the following month after that, it didn't feel the same best-friend vibe anymore, he didn't really want to speak to me and just kind of avoided me on text when we used to speak all the time. It was hard especially since I moved to a different school, it's not like I could easily speak to him in person. I just missed being his best friend and I felt like fucking shit. Honestly, it was the worst feeling for an ENTIRE MONTH. It hurt every time he ignored me.

Luckily, its back to normal and we're back to being best friends again and I couldn't be happier. But, Ive still got a problem, I still have feelings for him :/ and to be honest, I need to move on. I get jealous when he hangs out with other people and it's not healthy to have feelings for someone who's still insecure about their own sexuality, and who does not feel the same way. Thing is, we speak everyday, all the time. So, its hard for me to set distance and for me to feel otherwise, that there is no love. I know deep down there isn't, but I can't help my feelings man. ITs shit. If he was out of my life, trust me, I would easily forget about him but he's such an integral part of my life. Honestly, I feel shit that I ended up liking my best friend but oh well. I still daydream and this is on my mind everyday.
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Re: Really like my best friend now

Unread postby Capt._Trips » 21 December 2019, 02:07

Where do you get the idea that he is insecure about his sexuality?
It seemed pretty clear from your post's above that he's not into guys. So don't take it personal that he doesn't feel the same as you.

Imo the only way to get over your feelings is to just spend less time together. Or pursue a guy that is into other guys. Fascinating over a straight guy is pretty common at some point for gay guys. Especially when your young. But you will get over it. Just need to find a guy to help you get over it. Or like i said move on and try and forget about him. But it seems he's a pretty good friend. So i hope you can keep him in your life without your emotions effecting your relationship.
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Re: Really like my best friend now

Unread postby dynamicdoggo » 21 December 2019, 02:36

Capt._Trips wrote:Where do you get the idea that he is insecure about his sexuality?


A long time ago in class, he asked me ' what would you do if I was gay?' It was pretty serious like not joking around. I was kind of taken aback by it to be honest. I just said it was cool but then he seemed really nervous and then spun it off as a hypothetical question? And then one time when he was high he said he wasn't sure whether he liked guys or not to another one of my friends.

I have liked straight guys in the past, but being being more open with my own sexuality has made me realise that there's no point to straight guys at all. I'm past that stage now tbh.
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Re: Really like my best friend now

Unread postby Capt._Trips » 21 December 2019, 03:12

Maybe it was just hypothetical? And people say all kinds of things when high. None of those would lead me to believe hes confiused. Especially since he was clear that he isn't. To me it sounds like he's being a freind and a good one at that. You should try and move on. And find a guy thats into guys. I dont think your best friend is
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Re: Really like my best friend now

Unread postby GearFetTwinkRomance » 21 December 2019, 03:50

That question from back then could have been a test on how you would react, or him trying to find out, on how far he could rely to you as a best friend, since quite a few people would actually dump their buddies, if they were really gay. So doesn't have to mean he was insecure about his own sexual orientation.
The dope thing ... well, it may depend on how far up someone's afloat I guess. People talk weird shit, if they are high. I had someone tell me they were eating rabbit wings. :D

I had that attachment problem when living in Canada, the dude definitely was a heterosexual. I used to take distance several thousand miles, so I didn't see him again. Wrote letters, I don't want to advise, what else I had to do to suffocate the forbidden emotions, but it's been really tough, and I still get sort of memory flashbacks thinking at him. Was like 1994, should be gone by now. I guess I had made the mistake to not let it go and move on right away, the way others would do. It all was just completely new and I was ashamed and had no idea how to deal with it.

Don't let the emotions take over. I mean the beginning of love like feelings. It will be tough to choke them off, if you ever have to.
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Re: Really like my best friend now

Unread postby dynamicdoggo » 28 December 2019, 17:51

GearFetTwinkRomance wrote:Don't let the emotions take over. I mean the beginning of love like feelings. It will be tough to choke them off, if you ever have to.


It already has. It began deep long ago. :crazy:

Its hard to stop these feelings when you are best friends. I spoke to him around a month ago about this love interest and it ruined the friendship for a good month or two. Its back to normal and I couldn't be happier but I still find myself thinking about him in my bed etc. Just had my 4th wank over him and I kinda feel gross for doing it. It's weird man :/

The only way I'm ever going to get rid of feelings for him is by never speaking/seeing to him again but that would hurt on another level. I'm just so invested in relationships/friendships. Like, I dig myself so deep. Its hard for me to change.
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