The Alignment Thread

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The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Magic J » 9 February 2020, 21:43

I am fond of pen and paper roleplaying games. I am also fond of this forum. But how, you ask, doubtless with bated breath,
can these two things be combined? Well, welcome to the thread you neither wanted nor needed.

In this thread, we assign alignments to the denizens of the forum. As we well know, the original "Spill Your Guts" thread
proved to be both lame and gay , and I figure this is the quirkier option, suited for the more mature queer and crustiest neckbeard alike. Be sure to pick up your Veteran's card if you're old enough to remember GTF and/or DnD 3rd edition (or, heaven forbid, GTFN: the other forum, lost to myth and legend, and which I'm vaguely aware was a precursor).
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For those unfamiliar, this is how it works.

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As you can see, there are two axises to be considered: Good/Evil, and Lawful/Chaotic, with definitions shamelessly
pilfered from DnD's 3rd ed. (that's "Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition for the uninitiated) and warped to suit my own twisted end.

Lawful/Chaotic Axis

Lawful: Lawful individuals are honourable and trustworthy. However, lawful individuals may also be somewhat rigid. They respect the rules based order, and strive to uphold tradition. They are sincere and respected for their wisdom in matters gay and otherwise.

Neutral: Neutral individuals feel neither the compulsion to follow the rules for rules sake, but neither do they feel the
compulsion to rebel. They are generally honest and sincere, but may deceive, lie and act like a wanker if it is in their best interest, or if said deception/wankery would lead to hilarity and or/drama.

Chaotic: Chaotic individuals are adaptable and flexible. However, they may also be reckless and irresponsible. They are
frequently ironic and difficult to pin down. Alternatively, they may just be a standard shitposter, using their powers
to aggravate, enrage and disgust for the glory of Eris.

Good/Evil Axis

Good: Good individuals are altruistic and concerned for the welfare of others. They strive to uphold the dignity of other
members, and defend the most... unique amongst us. They rarely resort to harsh words, and are kind, even to those who may not deserve it. Their musical recommendations are always absolutely on point, and they will reliably post absolute bangers.

Neutral: Neutral individuals are generally adverse to being unkind, but are not compelled to play nice with those who have
proven to be uncivil or annoying. Music recommendations are pretty good, and their sass is generally of the high class, witty and urbane variety.

Evil: Evil individuals are oppressive and bitchy. Their malignancy is manifest by making others feel bad about their terrible haircut, or alternatively in the posting of shitty advice and/or terrible music recommendations, up to and including anything by
Coldplay. On the other hand, their low class shade may be frequently hilarious and effective at pest control.

Please take care to note that, as indicated by the above axises, Alignments such as "Lawful" and "Evil" should not be considered polar opposites of one another. For instance, a "Lawful Evil" member could be well respected for their authority, but abuse that authority to bend others into accepting their own godforsaken opinions regarding just how great Coldplay are.
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I'll start. René, or The Big 'Yin, as I shall now be referring to him, upholds the law of the land in a manner stern, but
fair. No aloof ruler, Rene frequently mingles with his subjects, dispensing sage advice on such matters as whether to
douche (thus saving many a rectal lining), and the best way to blaze mad (it's a Volcano vaporiser). When enemies are
abroad, Rene hefts his mighty Banhammer and swiftly dispenses with them. However, a wise ruler, Rene is content to uphold
the liberty of his subjects to shitpost at will, and to make absolute tools of themselves, as they see fit; for to compel
his subjects into rigid conformity is anathema to him.

Thus, The Big 'Yin is a Lawful Neutral Administrator, Lvl. 18. Long may he reign.

Now you, if you want. Discussion and slagging is encouraged. Feel free to defend your hard earned horrible reputation if anyone assigns you Lawful Good. Yuck.

Take this super fucking seriously, you guys. :heart:

Or kill me.
Last edited by Magic J on 10 February 2020, 19:04, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Marmaduke » 10 February 2020, 06:31

I’m afraid I don’t understand what I’m supposed to be doing to play this game and I couldn’t find “Ignorant Moron” on the matrix, so I’m not even sure if I qualify.
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Magic J » 10 February 2020, 07:23

Marmaduke wrote:I’m afraid I don’t understand what I’m supposed to be doing to play this game and I couldn’t find “Ignorant Moron” on the matrix, so I’m not even sure if I qualify.

Fuck sake, just re-roll d20 for Wis, this character's unplayable. :P

Perhaps if I were to subject Marmaduke to the rigorous and objective process of assigning alignment, we would all see how this alignment business works.

If not... well, I did say "or kill me".
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Marmaduke has resided here for a very long time. Some say that he is made of the very stuff used to create the forum in days of yore, for none doubt his antiquity. Only seldom seen, Marmaduke rouses himself in times of need, defending the forum from invaders and protecting its sacred traditions like some kind of homosexual golem. He is fond of soup.

Thus, Marmaduke is a True Neutral (Neutral/Neutral) Ignorant Moron/Golem, Lvl. 16.

Does this make things clearer? :P

Members may, of course, see fit to dispute any given alignment, be it there own or another's. They may also align themselves.
Last edited by Magic J on 10 February 2020, 19:04, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Eryx » 10 February 2020, 14:47

I see him more as Chaotic Neutral actually
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Marmaduke » 10 February 2020, 15:56

I’m still not quite au fait with what is going on, so if I was to contest any element of my description in this game, it would be that I am possibly playing this character at a higher level than I’m being credited. I would like to make representation that I be accredited at the highest available level in the game. Possibly 99?
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Subra » 10 February 2020, 17:10

Lawful good - Brenden, René, admin
Neutral good - Eryx, PopTart, Sullivan, lightnight
Chaotic good - Example, Yeauleaux

Lawful neutral - Capt. Trips, poolerboy0077, Jzone
True neutral - mxguy01, rogonandi, Jacketh
Chaotic neutral - Severilius, rxxli

Lawful evil - Marmaduke
Neutral evil - Magic J, Derek
Chaotic evil - Ben.
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Magic J » 10 February 2020, 17:21

Subra wrote:Neutral evil - Magic J

Neutral Evil?!

I shall address this when I return home from my labours. My music taste is, I'll have you know, impeccable.
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Subra » 10 February 2020, 17:38

Magic J wrote:
Subra wrote:Neutral evil - Magic J

Neutral Evil?!

I shall address this when I return home from my labours. My music taste is, I'll have you know, impeccable.

Only someone evil would create a topic sure to be as divisive as this. I'm onto you.
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby rogonandi » 10 February 2020, 18:24

Mainly neutral I think. :P
People love to follow fools; they don't feel so alone then.

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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby mxguy01 » 10 February 2020, 18:31

Magic J wrote:
Subra wrote:Neutral evil - Magic J

Neutral Evil?!

I shall address this when I return home from my labours. My music taste is, I'll have you know, impeccable.


I'm equally offended. Clearly I should dominate the Chaotic evil block!
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Derek » 10 February 2020, 18:59

Fine
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Magic J » 10 February 2020, 19:02

Marmaduke wrote:I would like to make representation that I be accredited at the highest available level in the game. Possibly 99?

You know, I think I probably have stiffed you on the levels. Changed to reflect this.

The highest level is 20. The mightiest stand at level 18; those beyond this level have reached levels of sanctity/depravity of legendary proportions. Their names echo on through the ages, their exploits never to be forgotten. Higher levels than this are theoretically possible, but never observed, for no mortal man could possibly be that gay.

An example of a natural level 20:

Heuvos Grande: Chaotic Evil Interesting Character, Level 20.

But we shall say no more of him, for to say is name is to summon him.
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Marmaduke » 10 February 2020, 19:39

Subra wrote:Lawful evil - Marmaduke

I’m sorry, what? Evil? Moi? :monocle:

I’m the hero of this novella, I’ll have you know.
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Jzone » 11 February 2020, 00:50

I confess to having owned and played the 1st official edition of D&D (stapled soft-cover, boxed set). Yes, this means that I come from the time before time.

On moonless nights when sleep is elusive and even the darkest of beer won't quiet my mind, I find myself wondering what my alignment would be. I claim Neutral Good. Though I seem lawful and even rigid at times, that is a facade. I read the rules mainly to know when I am breaking them, which I do as it suits me. My main rule to live by is — never get caught.
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Magic J » 11 February 2020, 11:31

Marmaduke wrote:
Subra wrote:Lawful evil - Marmaduke

I’m sorry, what? Evil? Moi? :monocle:

I’m the hero of this novella, I’ll have you know.

Everyone who participates gets their own character sheet. I also make little models of you, and then play weird games with them.
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Marmaduke » 11 February 2020, 11:35

Magic J wrote:
Marmaduke wrote:
Subra wrote:Lawful evil - Marmaduke

I’m sorry, what? Evil? Moi? :monocle:

I’m the hero of this novella, I’ll have you know.

Everyone who participates gets their own character sheet. I also make little models of you, and then play weird games with them.

Fine, I’m the hero of this tabletop Warhammer rip-off. Potato potato.
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Magic J » 11 February 2020, 14:31

Jzone wrote:I confess to having owned and played the 1st official edition of D&D (stapled soft-cover, boxed set). Yes, this means that I come from the time before time.

Honour to the graybeard. :P

Jzone wrote:On moonless nights when sleep is elusive and even the darkest of beer won't quiet my mind, I find myself wondering what my alignment would be. I claim Neutral Good. Though I seem lawful and even rigid at times, that is a facade. I read the rules mainly to know when I am breaking them, which I do as it suits me. My main rule to live by is — never get caught.

Granted. See, he even has partial nudity in his avatar! That's against The Rules!!! :oface:

Neutral Good Indecent Rogue, Level 10.
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby Magic J » 11 February 2020, 23:13

You're all getting aligned whether you like it or not, for I am easily amused and abusing prescription drugs.
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A prolific and lascivious Mr. Hyde type, Poolerboy0077 is a respected scholar and rhetorician, whilst simultaneously moonlighting as a giggly fanboy of some half rate, frumpy pop star that used to be relevant until he grew facial hair and revealed himself to be a 25 year old man, thus rendering him unpalatable to Pooler's refined tastes. Long ago, he founded three of the great pillars of this forum, granting the masses portions of his extensive fiefdom so that they may gather and shitpost to their heart's content. The fundamentally narcissistic inhabitants lauded him for these efforts, and continue to this day to gather there to scream at each other details regarding the minutiae of their lives, inscribing his name in the annals of history for evermore.

Thus, I dub Poolerboy0077 a Chaotic Neutral Learned Gentleman and Twink Worrier, Lvl. 17.

Petitions for re-alignment will be seen by my secretary. G'night.
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Re: The Alignment Thread

Unread postby René » 13 February 2020, 13:55

Alignment is not my forte, but nonetheless I dub thee, Magic J, a Chaotic Good Easily Amused Alignment Specialist and True Scotsman, Lvl. 19.

It is said that there are none more Scottish or more easily amused.
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