What constitutes "being Gay"

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What constitutes "being Gay"

Unread postby Cotton82 » 3 January 2021, 03:21

I have long pondered why I feel the way I do towards my same sex friends.
I have always sought out the most cute or handsome guys as my friends, well to be honest- sexual partners.
I had many crushes through the years.
We just end up being friends until I have the balls to ask them out- as in a date or make a move on them.
Most of the time I was too shy to act.
But just being around them gave me something to think about in private times.
I made my blunders in Elementary School, Junior High & High School, but always looking...
It was a difficult time in the 1970's & 1980's, Gays were not well received by popular opinion so I had to keep a low profile.
I always used to stop by & see my prospects at their work when I had the chance- just make my rounds around town.
Many were straight guys that I knew I had no chance with, I knew them & their girlfriends.
Yet I persisted in just knowing these guys & considering them my friends- with a hopeful chance we could be more.

I had been presented many opportunities to have sex, but withheld my desires in order of friendship.
Many times my friends were naked before me & I didn't even look- as I knew I would give me away, sporting a boner.
I did get caught once in the locker room with a boner- I tried to play it off, but 10 years later it was talked about at a Bar.

I got through most of the time alone, as I couldn't be myself in those times.
Sure I have other friends as matter of circumstance, but I'm always attracted to a good looking guy.
Is it jealousy, admiration, or something else that draws me to them?
I know I've been aroused several times by scent/pheromones alone.
So what is it that drives me to be attracted to other men in a same sex relationship?
I've had gay sex & prefer it to Heterosexual relations.
But I still don't know WHY I like guys instead of girls.

I've had to give up a lot of friendships through the years, in moving State to State most of my life.
I sometimes think that my Homosexuality derives from wanting to keep and/or make new friendships.

I was married for 13 years, raised a family- 3 kids...
But I never forgot how I really felt.

I know it's hard for the youth to understand where they are coming from with their feelings, but here I am at 56 and still seeking answers.
At this point in life, missing so many opportunities myself- I say live your own life & be happy, don't worry what others think.
Life is short & you'll be sorry about missing out on life later. Regretting things that I should have done...

So what is it that defines being GAY?
The act of same sex relations, or what really drives another man to be attracted to each other?
What was the determining factor to coming out as GAY & the reason behind it if you know...
Just trying to seek some reasoning behind hanging a poster of a cute boy in my bedroom.
It doesn't seem normal, but I like it.
I'm so confused- about how I feel, not what I desire...
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Re: What constitutes "being Gay"

Unread postby Marmaduke » 3 January 2021, 09:40

Asking why you’re gay is like asking why you’re 5’10 or why your eyes are brown.
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Re: What constitutes "being Gay"

Unread postby ShutUpAndBeHappy » 3 January 2021, 12:42

In nature there aren't a lot of questions that actually have answers. I would say that it does not matter why. When I was religious as a teenager, people would talk about how wrong homosexuality was based upon theories of how people ended up that way - absent/ineffective parents, masculinity/femininity issues, women in the workplace, etc. In the end it doesn't matter. There is no perfect design to life, and there is no grand plan that things follow. Things simply are. We just have to do our best with the time we're given, have a good time, and try not to hurt anyone else along the way.

All I know is I wanted to suck cock way before my parents' divorce, which shoots in the face most of the theories and sermons I was fed growing up.
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Re: What constitutes "being Gay"

Unread postby Eos » 3 January 2021, 21:47

Just like straight people wants to build different-sex relationship, gay people wants to build same-sex relationship.
And just like straight people, the definition of relationship depends of the individual. Doesn't matter what you feel or what you want. If you want to build anything with someone that is the same sex than you then you are gay.
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Re: What constitutes "being Gay"

Unread postby Aladdin » 4 January 2021, 15:28

Gay = being sexually attracted to someone of the same gender.
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