What gender do you get along the most with?

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What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby Poisson » 18 June 2019, 19:00

Personally, almost all of my friends are girls, probably because I don’t know a lot of gay guys and there’s just something with straight males that makes it hard for me to connect with them. However, I know that some gay guys get along pretty well with the boys or seem to have found a good balance :P How about you?

(Also saddly I don’t know any trans person although I would enjoy to hear more about their perspective on life)
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby Iamjava » 18 June 2019, 19:06

none in particular. although it does get old having straight guys show me their girls pictures or talk about what theyd do to what woman.

outside of that, i get along with most people. :)
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby Jryski » 18 June 2019, 19:40

Girls. I dont know why but I get extra awkward and nervous af around guys.
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby Eryx » 18 June 2019, 21:48

It changed as I grew up. During Middle School, I had this very tight group of friends that comprised of four girls and five guys (me included). We'd do everything together. There were other friends orbiting us, but these were the main ones. Two of the guys and one of the girls are still my best friends to this day.

During High School in Brazil, I was friends mostly with girls because I was done trying to be closer to other guys. People would mock me and my physique frequently and I didn't know how to deal with jokes then, so it would turn into bullying and I'd start drifting away from the few guys who I became friends with at first. The girls also had better things to talk about back then, I guess.

During High School in the US, since I was an exchange student and out to make as many friends as possible, I had the most amount of "friends" ever in my life up to that point, so I can't possibly say if there were more girls or guys around. I'd say the closer ones were guys because they were part of the school's TV with me (I even went to live with the family of one of them for a period of time), but in reality even our closer friend group had plenty of girls. I came out to everyone too at the end, and nobody cared. That gave me the strength I needed to return and start doing it here.

In Rio I had guy friends and girl friends, but nearly all the guys were gay. I left to live there and had to borrow my ex's friends, who were mostly part of an extinct Skins (UK TV show) fan club in Rio, so there were only a couple of straight dudes.

When I lived in a college town (Ouro Preto), I wrote a post on my blog about how the fraternities there were super homophobic and hardly ever let someone openly gay live there for long, and it went viral, so nearly all the straight guys kind of hated me or treated me indifferently. I didn't have much of a choice, so all my guy friends were gay. Didn't bother me too much, straights there were from small towns and really backwards.

Nowadays, it's a mix between the two and I don't really care anymore. Some types of straight men intimidate me and in return, I act insular with them and that keeps us from becoming closer easily. It does happen though. And the more open-minded, neutral straight guys I instantly gravitate to whenever I'm meeting a lot of new people.

Interestingly enough, I've grown less and less interested in female relationships lately.
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby JoelR » 19 June 2019, 13:38

I don't think anyone should really think of a strict gender male / female as the primary source of friendship. If they're interesting, conversational, and open to you then be friendly yourself!
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 19 June 2019, 14:56

JoelR wrote:I don't think anyone should really think of a strict gender male / female as the primary source of friendship. If they're interesting, conversational, and open to you then be friendly yourself!

I don’t think people are consciously excluding a gender, per se, for any kind of close minded reasons or intolerance. I think it just sort of happens based on your personality and possible insecurities. For instance, if you are a rather effeminate man you might feel safer around women who you might perceive as being less judgmental about it and being surrounded by men.
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby PopTart » 19 June 2019, 16:21

I tend to find it easier to engage with women, I suspect, because I have more experience having uncomplicated friendships with girls and women over the course of my life.

I get along great with some guys too, but it tends to be fewer in number.

My friendships with women however, tend towards the casual and superficial more often, while I have more female friends than Male, the male friends I have, tend to be slightly deeper and more personal.

As with any rule, there ofcourse exceptions.

My closest friends include two women, who probably know me better than I know myself and are amongst the first people I go to, in either times of great stress or great joy and they are the people for whom, I'd drop just about anything, to be there for them. No matter the personal or professional consequences.
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 19 June 2019, 16:30

poolerboy0077 wrote:
JoelR wrote:I don't think anyone should really think of a strict gender male / female as the primary source of friendship. If they're interesting, conversational, and open to you then be friendly yourself!

I don’t think people are consciously excluding a gender, per se, for any kind of close minded reasons or intolerance. I think it just sort of happens based on your personality and possible insecurities. For instance, if you are a rather effeminate man you might feel safer around women who you might perceive as being less judgmental about it and being surrounded by men.


Or your a bit into sports, jock'ish and naturally tend to hit it off with guys. Bromances are cool for this gay guy. So it's not so much the gender but just what clicks for me socially.

Net: it can arise out of any broad set of circumstances; gender is only part of it all.
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby Marmaduke » 20 June 2019, 12:39

I don’t really notice myself predominantly swinging one way or another in most situations. The only time I do generally find myself hanging with the women more than the men most of the time is at larger family functions, but then it’s only because I don’t really care to spend my whole evening recapping the previous weekend’s sporting performances. Outside of family situations, I tend to be a bit of a social chameleon, I play to the group I’m with. I don’t really notice that biasing me to one gender or the other, or indeed some point in the middle.
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby Eryx » 21 June 2019, 16:37

Ugh, sports. I wish I saw the appeal in them. I feel like it's a part of life I simply couldn't wrap my head around. I do like a few sports but I was never able to enjoy watching them or keeping up with teams. Especially since players just get bought and sold all the time, so teams just seem like a shallow entity. If the players were at least from where the team originated from, then I think I'd be more excited with it.
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 21 June 2019, 17:22

Eryx wrote:Ugh, sports. I wish I saw the appeal in them. I feel like it's a part of life I simply couldn't wrap my head around. I do like a few sports but I was never able to enjoy watching them or keeping up with teams. Especially since players just get bought and sold all the time, so teams just seem like a shallow entity. If the players were at least from where the team originated from, then I think I'd be more excited with it.


I hear you. It's like me and video games. I don't get peoples interest there because I can't relate.

I'm not much of a spectator for sports in general. Yeah, I follow motocross but that's about it. Now while I'm at Hi Tops (gay sports bar) I certainly don't mind watching sports while drinking a couple beers while socializing. I'm starting to like soccer more but I must admit that's more about physiques of the players than the sports.

To your last point: MXGP (European outdoor motocross) is pretty cool wrt that. Each person basically represents himself, his team, the manufacture of his ride and represents his country. I think that is the reason I really like MXGP the best - lots of pride at stake.
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 21 June 2019, 17:41

I personally get along with all 810 genders.
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby Bestdave45 » 21 June 2019, 18:02

100% guys
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby Eryx » 21 June 2019, 18:18

mxguy01 wrote:I follow motocross but that's about it.
See, I get that more because then you can cheer on a specific person, you can grow attached to the people you want to see succeed. I wish team sports made it a point to have players from where the team originated, that way they could have a true identity. Oh well!
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby Prince_G_24 » 21 June 2019, 23:52

In the past almost all of my friends were exclusively girls. Once I hit college I stared socializing more with guys and now they make up the majority of my friend base and find them super easy to get along with.
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby erti » 22 June 2019, 03:25

It's not so much what gender I get along with, it's mostly who I get along with. I tend to have friends who also like anime. A lot of my friends are weebs and gamers. Even online friends tend to be weebs and gamers. In high school most of my friends were the female variety... most were lesbians and bisexual... I did have a couple of guy friends mainly because they hung out with the female weebs. A couple of guys liked me in high school but to avoid dating I told them I was a lesbian... then a good friend told me she liked me. I was like "sure why not?" and a couple days later I told her I wasn't interested in dating anyone at the time. About 6 months to a year later I started dating my ex. She found out and accused me of lying about liking girls because I rejected her. I'm not the type to fight with people so I was like "meh whatever".

When I started dating my ex, I became friends with most of his friends which they were mostly guys. I was real close with a couple of them. Like our friend David (which idk what gender he identifies with now because he'll dress up like a female) and our friend Richard. Not to mention Skyler and an ex friend name Kaz and a few others. Most of my online friends tend to be male too. Most of my guy friends are straight with the exception of a couple of them. Like I said, it's the common interest that is easier for me to make friends.
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby lightnight » 23 June 2019, 06:17

I'm the most comfortable in my own company. I don't talk unless I have to. Small talk is weird (although I can totally talk about the weather or the news if I have to).

There's also this cultural thing of not talking to women unnecessarily here. Sex segregated schools encourage that. But I've had some very good female friends in that time (thankfully) that I shared common interests with in an online community.

I'm old enough that I'm glad for the men and women I'm friends with for ages and haven't met many new people that I find interesting in a long time.
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 23 June 2019, 10:25

lightnight wrote:I don't talk unless I have to.

I wish more gay bottoms would follow in your footsteps. Bottoms, know your place! Take a page from Japanese women and be prepared to be submissive and subservient to your betters. Happy is he who fades into the background and is only responsive when needed.
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby Yeauxleaux » 3 July 2019, 00:27

Both.

I'm pretty middle of the road when it comes to how masculine/feminine I am, I don't particularly fall either way to extremes, but I have interests that are a feminine and others that are masculine. I can relate to both genders as a result. I've consistently had a healthy mix of both male and female friends, and I especially thrive best in mixed environments where it's not just one gender. It's actually in mostly one-gender environments I feel most out of place, if I'm surrounded by either (predominantly straight and masculine) men, or all women except me. I don't know if this is something other LGBT people can relate to or if it's just a weird personality quirk I have, but that's my experience, I need both men and women to socialise with.

For some reason I've only ever tended to hang around with straight people offline though, mostly because I'm rarely in an environment where there's a lot of gays.
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Re: What gender do you get along the most with?

Unread postby ShutUpAndBeHappy » 6 July 2019, 19:36

When I was younger (13-18) I got along with women the best. I was dealing with some issues and didn't know how to relate to men. This ended when I joined my fraternity in college. Those experiences helped me become comfortable talking with men as well. There is a difference talking with men and with women - humor is different, different details are important.

Now, I have male and female friends that I enjoy very much. When it comes to the bubble at work, I find that men are much more likely to keep things to themselves, and to be honest and frank. Women aren't less so, but generally the women around me at work like to talk a lot more shit (which I am there for, btw). When it comes to just friends doing friend stuff, I am the most comfortable with men at this point. I'm not completely sure why and it fascinates me. I really like baseball, and it seems like I can find more men who want to talk about that.
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