What made you laugh today?

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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Marmaduke » 15 March 2020, 21:53

I have taken stock. I have 13 toilet rolls. Thanks to be pre-pandemic habit of buying toilet roll in packs of 16, and my lifelong commitment to pooping on my employers time wherever practicable, I am now willing to negotiate the sale of a portion of my inventory.

I would be willing to trade 4 toilet rolls for a small holiday cottage in Devon with a sea view. Offers via PM.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Magic J » 15 March 2020, 21:58

PopTart wrote:On the plus side, no one was buying the fresh baked pastries, high risk items I suppose, so I indulged in several varieties. Love me some strawberry crowns and apple turnovers. :drool:

I could probably post "omg pastry shortage" on Twitter, and they'd be a run on éclairs by tomorrow afternoon.

Derek wrote:It really puts things like the rational theory of economic behavior in perspective.

The Animal Spirits are volatile, and... *spins wheel* hungry for croissants!
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Brenden » 15 March 2020, 22:03

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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby PopTart » 15 March 2020, 22:07

Magic J wrote:
PopTart wrote:On the plus side, no one was buying the fresh baked pastries, high risk items I suppose, so I indulged in several varieties. Love me some strawberry crowns and apple turnovers. :drool:

I could probably post "omg pastry shortage" on Twitter, and they'd be a run on éclairs by tomorrow afternoon.

Derek wrote:It really puts things like the rational theory of economic behavior in perspective.

The Animal Spirits are volatile, and... *spins wheel* hungry for croissants!

Oh god, please dont!
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Derek » 15 March 2020, 22:08

Magic J wrote:I know, it's just silly. There's some specific things: pasta, rice, baby food, which are somewhat understandable. But... eggs? If you really want to be disaster proof, you'd be better off getting the chicken, surely? :lol:

Fucking eggs. I was planning on making brioche and the first two stores I went to didn't have any.

At least the fun part is we get to see which pasta shapes and breakfast cereal people just won't buy.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Marmaduke » 15 March 2020, 22:08

Brenden wrote:


How have I wronged you, Brenden? Why would you torpedo my quest for a holiday cottage like this?
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Magic J » 15 March 2020, 22:10

Fear ye not, Her Majesty's Armed Forces are no doubt currently mobilising to invade the Netherlands and seize their supplies of toilet paper.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby erti » 15 March 2020, 22:11

I’ve nothing to contribute right now but just to say you all crack me up. :)
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Marmaduke » 15 March 2020, 22:13

Magic J wrote:Fear ye not, Her Majesty's Armed Forces are no doubt currently mobilising to invade the Netherlands and seize their supplies of toilet paper.

That’s even worse! Brenden has highlighted that stock isn’t an issue, now the fucking military is throwing their oar in and solving the logistical supply?

I don’t know how you think supply and demand works, but between Brenden and The Queen, I am - literally - royally fucked.

I can’t have anything nice :cry:
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Magic J » 15 March 2020, 22:22

There's no goodwill between us and our European neighbours anymore. There's just no guarentee of that supply chain remaining open.

British arses are of the highest priority. Luckily, we have more bombs. And an aircraft carrier! We'll just pop in and nick it all, like the good old days.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby erti » 16 March 2020, 10:00

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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby PopTart » 16 March 2020, 16:30

Derek wrote:At least the fun part is we get to see which pasta shapes and breakfast cereal people just won't buy.

Whole wheat pasta. Two of the supermarkets I've been to, all the pasta was sold out, except the section for whole wheat. It was untouched. :P

Because apparantly even a global pandemic isnt enough to make that shit worth eating, Brits would rather eat the toilet paper first.

Oddly enough, people seemed to overlook dried egg noodles too. :shrug:
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Magic J » 16 March 2020, 16:45

Also Uncle Ben's rice.

I can only assume racism.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Marmaduke » 16 March 2020, 16:51

I’ve decided that, if I can’t beat the hoarders, I should join them. I was a little late to the hoarding, I’ll concede. But I wanted to feel like I was taking part, so I bought 6 pallets of the only medicated item I could find.

If you need Anusol, I’m willing to provide it for you at a modest mark-up.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby René » 17 March 2020, 19:59

MSNBC running ads on CNN.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Magic J » 18 March 2020, 18:08

Relevant and grim.



REMAIN INDOORS.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby PopTart » 18 March 2020, 21:54

Magic J wrote:Relevant and grim.



REMAIN INDOORS.

I love those sketches and how each, stay indoors, gets more desperate.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 19 March 2020, 02:26

Blow: "Nowadays even Liam can release an album of his screechy vocals and it'll probably go #1..."
Ramzus: I can admit that I'm horny just about 24/7
homomorphism: I used to not think your name was deshay and that Erick was just being racist
Hunter: sometimes I think I was literally born to be a pornstar
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Derek » 19 March 2020, 03:42


As a Social Justice Warrior, this triggers me.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 19 March 2020, 22:28

I wonder if the name came from a red piller working for Marvel who pitched the idea to an unaware boomer who thought that sounded like a cool super hero name.
Blow: "Nowadays even Liam can release an album of his screechy vocals and it'll probably go #1..."
Ramzus: I can admit that I'm horny just about 24/7
homomorphism: I used to not think your name was deshay and that Erick was just being racist
Hunter: sometimes I think I was literally born to be a pornstar
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