What made you laugh today?

Severelius wrote:

René wrote:I just pointed out a cute girl to Brenden. That doesn't happen very often.

Are you on the turn, René?

It's okay, I'm not bi! I'm not even homoflexible. I am a certified Full Gay (level 5).

It's not like I felt romantically or sexually attracted to her... it was more a kind of aesthetic appreciation I guess. Like looking at a beautiful house or landscape.

René wrote:

Severelius wrote:

René wrote:I just pointed out a cute girl to Brenden. That doesn't happen very often.

Are you on the turn, René?

It's okay, I'm not bi! I'm not even homoflexible. I am a certified Full Gay (level 5).

It's not like I felt romantically or sexually attracted to her... it was more a kind of aesthetic appreciation I guess. Like looking at a beautiful house or landscape.

Nothing wrong with admiring someone’s looks in both sexualities and genders. I find beauty in Asian men and women but idk if I’m really attracted to them sexually. Mainly they’re adorably cute. Cute =/= sexy. I’m not the type that looks at someone and think “I want to bang that person”. Then again I’m a woman.

René wrote:It's not like I felt romantically or sexually attracted to her... it was more a kind of aesthetic appreciation I guess. Like looking at a beautiful house or landscape.

I have a friend who, after pointing out another woman she found attractive, compared her feelings towards them as akin to the appreciation one feels towards a particularly nice looking lamp. Understood, I thought, nodding sagely.

"I'd totally fuck that lamp" was her reply.

Ergo, I'm taking away your certificate. Now you're level 4 Gay.

Not even once.

Magic J wrote:

René wrote:It's not like I felt romantically or sexually attracted to her... it was more a kind of aesthetic appreciation I guess. Like looking at a beautiful house or landscape.

I have a friend who, after pointing out another woman she found attractive, compared her feelings towards them as akin to the appreciation one feels towards a particularly nice looking lamp. Understood, I thought, nodding sagely.

"I'd totally fuck that lamp" was the reply.

Ergo, I'm taking away your certificate. Now you're level 4 Gay.

Not even once.

This was the girl, anyway. Some Dutch girl on this extremely funny Dutch comedian's satirical news programme I've been watching on YouTube, Zondag met Lubach.

René wrote:This was the girl, anyway. Some Dutch girl on this extremely funny Dutch comedian's satirical news programme I've been watching on YouTube, Zondag met Lubach.

Oh yes, very pretty. Probably a giant, though. Dutch people are too tall for me.

I fear they'll grind my bones.

Magic J wrote:

René wrote:This was the girl, anyway. Some Dutch girl on this extremely funny Dutch comedian's satirical news programme I've been watching on YouTube, Zondag met Lubach.

Oh yes, very pretty. Probably a giant, though. Dutch people are too tall for me.

I fear they'll grind my bones.

Don't you mean "you'll"?

Get away from my bones! I need them!

Magic J wrote:Get away from my bones! I need them!

As someone who is about 5’2” almost 5’3” I wouldn’t mind being tall. That way my 180 lbs self can even out and stuff lmao (I probably weigh a lot more now though).

erti wrote:As someone who is about 5’2” almost 5’3” I wouldn’t mind being tall. That way my 180 lbs self can even out and stuff lmao (I probably weigh a lot more now though).

I'm about 5'3, too. Maybe 5'4.

Everybody's a comedian until they need somebody to fish out a bauble from under the Christmas tree, or lay insulation in the roof gaps. Then they all come running.

Magic J wrote:

erti wrote:As someone who is about 5’2” almost 5’3” I wouldn’t mind being tall. That way my 180 lbs self can even out and stuff lmao (I probably weigh a lot more now though).

I'm about 5'3, too. Maybe 5'4.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

I think maybe I won't grind your bones. Maybe I'll just keep you in my chest pocket.

Magic J wrote:

erti wrote:As someone who is about 5’2” almost 5’3” I wouldn’t mind being tall. That way my 180 lbs self can even out and stuff lmao (I probably weigh a lot more now though).

I'm about 5'3, too. Maybe 5'4.

Everybody's a comedian until they need somebody to fish out a bauble from under the Christmas tree, or lay insulation in the roof gaps. Then they all come running.

I have small hands like Darth Cheeto (Trump)... I also have small feet. I’m a size 6.5 or 7 women’s shoes so it’s easy to find shoes for me.

I mentioned Alan Moore's wizardry in another thread, and it reminded me of this. Clip in which Moore displays his immense magical power. Skip to 4.00 if you're not interested in the magazine.



Don't fuck with Alan Moore. Guy's got mojo flowing from every orifice.

When not addressing the nation, Janey Godley likes to mess with cats.

Walked down to town to go to the big ASDA because it was the only place that would be open and sell birthday cards that I needed for my mum's birthday tomorrow... ran into my mum and dad waiting to get in to do their own shopping.

Weird timing, it must be said.

Just scrolling through my Facebook and found this gem:

While in bed I fell asleep mid-sentence while explaining something to my husband.

Government's attempt to illustrate what "2 metres distance" looks like, for purposes of safe distancing: "3 fridges".

So, I went to go and measure my fridge, just to make sure I could use it as a useful point of reference. Well, you'll never believe it: unbeknownst to me, somebody, or something, appeared had taken up residence. Strange noises in an undecipherable tongue emerged from behind the door.

"Wiff waff", said the fridge.

Scanning the kitchen for clues as to who this invader could be, I began to notice the signs. Bananas had been straightened, and prawn cocktail crisps evicted from the multipack. A cold sweat came over me as I realised the gravity of the situation. Could it be? Slowly, I opened the door. Immediately, my worst fears were confirmed.

Boris Johnson, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland, was hiding in my fridge.

Which could only mean one thing.

There was a knock on the front door.

Piers Morgan had arrived.

It's been a nightmare of a morning, frankly.

Best lines from the SpaceX launch today: "successful orbital insertion", "forward bulkhead thrusters", "the nose-cone is now open"

Just another small step for a man...

From today’s New Rules segment:

“If your [police] partner is doing something horrendous, you can’t just watch and do nothing like the husband in a cuck video.”

Nice touch.