What made you laugh today?

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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby erti » 15 December 2020, 23:58

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“Don't take my devils away, because my angels may flee too.”

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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Marmaduke » 16 December 2020, 09:16

So, in a meeting at work this morning, without a hint of irony, somebody used the sentence “so let’s put our heads together, in a socially distanced way, and figure out the best way forward”

I’m sorry, what? Did you genuinely think that when you left the room, our method of collaboration involved pressing our foreheads together? And if you did, how do you propose we do that from 2 metres apart? Or are you just so detached from pretending to care about social distancing rules that you don’t even think about what you’re saying anymore? :lol:
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Magic J » 16 December 2020, 11:21

Corporate buzzwords allow you to forgo thinking, it's what they're designed for. Corporate speak irritated the bejeezus or if me. I'd retch every time the phrase "blue sky thinking" was uttered. "Synergise" still gives me heartburn.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Severelius » 16 December 2020, 12:43

Magic J wrote:Corporate buzzwords allow you to forgo thinking, it's what they're designed for. Corporate speak irritated the bejeezus or if me. I'd retch every time the phrase "blue sky thinking" was uttered. "Synergise" still gives me heartburn.

It's not strictly a corporate buzzword but I notice a lot of my previous managers love to fall back on "use your initiative" when they very clearly had zero fucking clue what they wanted you to actually do.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Magic J » 16 December 2020, 23:15

Severelius wrote:It's not strictly a corporate buzzword but I notice a lot of my previous managers love to fall back on "use your initiative" when they very clearly had zero fucking clue what they wanted you to actually do.

At Maccies, the annoying phrase of choice was "if you have time to lean, you have time to clean". Usually said at least five times per shift. Bold words, considering you're within hurling distance of this incredibly hot fry basket I'm using, Bruce.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Severelius » 17 December 2020, 17:40

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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby René » 17 December 2020, 18:29

^ :lol: That is hilarious.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Brenden » 17 December 2020, 20:54

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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Aladdin » 18 December 2020, 17:13

^ That actually made me laugh. A lot of truth to it...
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby OutsideIn » 19 December 2020, 00:08

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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Magic J » 19 December 2020, 00:35

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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby René » 24 December 2020, 17:36

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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 26 December 2020, 23:31

Blow: "Nowadays even Liam can release an album of his screechy vocals and it'll probably go #1..."
Ramzus: I can admit that I'm horny just about 24/7
homomorphism: I used to not think your name was deshay and that Erick was just being racist
Hunter: sometimes I think I was literally born to be a pornstar
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Jzone » 31 December 2020, 04:57

In case you have any new year resolutions planned...

Screen Shot 2020-12-30 at 8.49.14 PM.jpg
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Brenden » 31 December 2020, 17:01

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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Brenden » 5 January 2021, 01:46

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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 5 January 2021, 05:20

Could you translate that into English for me? :shifty:
Blow: "Nowadays even Liam can release an album of his screechy vocals and it'll probably go #1..."
Ramzus: I can admit that I'm horny just about 24/7
homomorphism: I used to not think your name was deshay and that Erick was just being racist
Hunter: sometimes I think I was literally born to be a pornstar
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Derek » 5 January 2021, 06:26

I don't know what accent that joke makes sense in.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Brenden » 5 January 2021, 15:08

poolerboy0077 wrote:Could you translate that into English for me? :shifty:

A midwife delivered a baby behind Barclay's yard on New Year’s Eve night. When she asked “what are you going to call him?” the mother replied “Nathan”.

“Don't be stupid!” says the midwife, “You'll have to call him something”.

Derek wrote:I don't know what accent that joke makes sense in.

A shortening of the word ‘naething’, i.e., ‘naethin’’, sounds like the name ‘Nathan’.
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Re: What made you laugh today?

Unread postby Severelius » 6 January 2021, 13:57

Someday, maybe, I will learn that I shouldn't dance to camp 80s bangers with headphones on when making lunch in the kitchen because I can never hear when my brother comes into the room.

Not today though, it seems. :lol:
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