Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby jimbo_xix » 24 July 2019, 15:31

Jryski wrote:
jimbo_xix wrote:I don't believe anyone is born gay or straight. I think we're all born with a bisexual potential.
Current scientific research and studies suggests otherwise.


Umm, the fools change their theories every ten years. I didn't respect the APA when they used to categorize homosexuality as a mental illness. And I don't respect them now that they've flip flopped and changed their minds again. I'll just go with the ancient Greeks who never considered homosexuality to be a negative in the first place.

And no, they haven't found a gay gene.
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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby jimbo_xix » 24 July 2019, 15:37

Eryx wrote:Well, you're both wrong. I didn't choose anything. Maybe that's how it worked out for you guys, but the first lesson any gay person should ideally know is that everyone is different and goes through different things and feelings. If you guys feel like you've made a conscious choice to be gay or bisexual, or that something in your lives caused things to change in such ways, that's great for you, those experiences only go as far as your own brains.

I didn't have any weird experiences while I was a child and I had as many guy friends as girl friends, a functioning family with grandparents, loving (and married) parents and a normal childhood with videogames and trivial interests. Nothing in my early years made me choose to like boys, I have always liked them for as long as I have memories and I was never, ever, even once interested in a girl or a girl's body.

That's me and I think it's quite arrogant for a GAY man, who should understand people aren't always the same in regards to sexuality, to tell me that I'm wrong, even though I'm the one who lived my life and thought my thoughts.


Haha. Why is it arrogant for me to tell you that homosexuality is an acquired preference. But it's not arrogant for you to tell me that I was born "that way". Hypocrisy much?

And why are you so embarrassed at the possibility that we subconsciously choose to love men? I made the superior choice. I'm gay. I take responsibility for my sexuality. Breeders be damned.
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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 24 July 2019, 17:12

jimbo_xix wrote:Umm, the fools change their theories every ten years. I didn't respect the APA when they used to categorize homosexuality as a mental illness. And I don't respect them now that they've flip flopped and changed their minds again. I'll just go with the ancient Greeks who never considered homosexuality to be a negative in the first place.

I couldn’t agree more. Science is always so wishy-washy, correcting itself with new “data” and passing everything through a “methodology” or whatever. I establish reality by my desires. For instance, I’ve decided to be overweight. Not only do I hate these body-shaming doctors but who are they to tell me I’m not healthy? They’re just men in coats with paper “degrees.” I’ve got common sense! My common sense tells me what’s healthy is the food you love.
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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby Eryx » 24 July 2019, 19:11

jimbo_xix wrote:Haha. Why is it arrogant for me to tell you that homosexuality is an acquired preference. But it's not arrogant for you to tell me that I was born "that way". Hypocrisy much?

And why are you so embarrassed at the possibility that we subconsciously choose to love men? I made the superior choice. I'm gay. I take responsibility for my sexuality. Breeders be damned.
You misinterpreted me. I meant to say you're arrogant for being so sure your point of view is the only correct one and that your experiences are universal. And that is really fucking arrogant.

I don't consider that everyone was "born this way," there may be people out there who made a conscious choice, like you, or people whose preference changed throughout their lives. I haven't been in their minds to say otherwise, so I respect their feelings. You don't respect mine in saying everyone has gone through the same as you, or that I'm wrong in being sure I didn't choose anything.

I'm not embarrassed about anything, you pulled that conclusion out of your ass. I'm irritated that you think your mindset is the superior one, the only way that things can be, while dismissing that other people went through different paths. That's just as bad as any straight person that says homosexuality is a mental illness without ever having had the experience of being gay.
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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby jimbo_xix » 24 July 2019, 19:32

Eryx wrote:
jimbo_xix wrote:Haha. Why is it arrogant for me to tell you that homosexuality is an acquired preference. But it's not arrogant for you to tell me that I was born "that way". Hypocrisy much?

And why are you so embarrassed at the possibility that we subconsciously choose to love men? I made the superior choice. I'm gay. I take responsibility for my sexuality. Breeders be damned.
You misinterpreted me. I meant to say you're arrogant for being so sure your point of view is the only correct one and that your experiences are universal. And that is really fucking arrogant.

I don't consider that everyone was "born this way," there may be people out there who made a conscious choice, like you, or people whose preference changed throughout their lives. I haven't been in their minds to say otherwise, so I respect their feelings. You don't respect mine in saying everyone has gone through the same as you, or that I'm wrong in being sure I didn't choose anything.

I'm not embarrassed about anything, you pulled that conclusion out of your ass. I'm irritated that you think your mindset is the superior one, the only way that things can be, while dismissing that other people went through different paths. That's just as bad as any straight person that says homosexuality is a mental illness without ever having had the experience of being gay.


But I suppose we've all wondered why we are gay or bisexual. It's a universal question. Sexual preference is obviously caused in human beings by some circumstance, whether inborn or acquired. So to tell me that I'm trying to speak for you when I posit a theory is a bit arrogant on your part.

I'm being told repeatedly now by the LGBT establishment that my homosexuality is innate. I know it isn't. The OP says his sexuality is dynamic and has changed over his life. I've experienced the same.

It seems to me that our current LGBT leadership uses "born that way" as if it gets them off the hook for their sexuality. I'm proud to be gay and will take full responsibility. And I said the choice is subconscious meaning that we gravitate towards what suits us best as individuals. I never said we sit down at the breakfast table one day and decide we are going to be gay.
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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby Eryx » 24 July 2019, 20:40

I don't give two fucks about LGBT leadership, I don't follow activism, I don't even have Facebook. I am telling you that I have not chosen to be gay at any point in my life. I realized I was gay at 12, and by then I could remember being attracted to someone at 6, changing schools and being attracted to someone else from 7 to 9, moving cities and being attracted to someone else from 10 to 16, coming out and finally getting into a relationship. There was no choice or change or event, it was always just there.

If all you wanted to say was that we make a choice to live our lives as gay men, then I completely agree with you. However, if you're telling me that I'm wrong in how I feel and how I remember things because it was different for you and some other guy, then you're being arrogant and won't admit to it.

Using "LGBT leadership" to imply that I'm being convinced about anything I have actually lived is such a cop-out.
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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby Iamjava » 24 July 2019, 20:46

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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby Jryski » 25 July 2019, 00:33

Iamjava wrote:
cougar4327 wrote:Agree with jimbo: "bottom line, I reject the concept that we're born "that way". We subconsciously 'choose' the sexuality which best suits us. Sexuality is dynamic and fluid as your example clearly shows"


Forgive me if I'm incorrect, but I do believe that assertion would validate my earlier point.

Having a couple girls or many boys to play with in a place where everyone lives in trailers isn't really a point but okay??? According to you "CELEBACY" can have breaks in between so at this point pretty much anything goes. And also, bipolar has nothing to do with what sex you're attracted to.
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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby Iamjava » 25 July 2019, 00:39

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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby Jryski » 25 July 2019, 07:06

Iamjava wrote:I kind of get it. I used to think I was bi myself. The only problem was I'd end up attracted to a different sex in a relationship. Of course, I'm bipolar anyway...
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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby Iamjava » 25 July 2019, 19:21

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Re: Why did it take for cme so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby cougar4327 » 17 August 2019, 00:04

HI again ---- not able to go public for certain. reasons, I been frequenting adult book stores and feeling embarrassed about it - I stopped going back, but I do . I now have a strong urge to go back.Over the past few moths I have had over 40 sexual experiences there. Every time I leave I say I am not going back and here I am again desiring to go back---what do I do?
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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby Jryski » 17 August 2019, 00:33

See a therapist about impulse control maybe if you really want to stop doing whatever you're doing. They'll help you find ways to reach your goals.
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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby cougar4327 » 17 August 2019, 17:09

What if I really DON'T want to stop?
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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby cougar4327 » 17 August 2019, 19:33

Kinsey Scale Test
http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/

Just took it and: Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual.
According to Kinsey, I might be somewhat BI
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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby Derek » 17 August 2019, 19:48

cougar4327 wrote:Kinsey Scale Test
http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/

Just took it and: Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual.
According to Kinsey, I might be somewhat BI

The Kinsey Scale isn't a test, it's a theoretical model. It was developed to graph demographic data, not to classify individual sexualities.
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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 17 August 2019, 20:02

Hey nothing wrong with some casual sex. Just most of us assume that crowd where you frequent is not exactly DDF so you sir sure should be on prep and testing often.
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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby cougar4327 » 19 August 2019, 17:01

Still can't understand why I was straight for so many years and would never of dreamed of giving oral sex to a man and know all I only get excited about is giving oral sex to men---and so excited about it---WHAT HAPPENED?
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Re: Why did it take me so long to understand that I am gay?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 20 August 2019, 18:24

Derek wrote:
cougar4327 wrote:Kinsey Scale Test
http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/

Just took it and: Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual.
According to Kinsey, I might be somewhat BI

The Kinsey Scale isn't a test, it's a theoretical model. It was developed to graph demographic data, not to classify individual sexualities.

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