coming out later in life.

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coming out later in life.

Unread postby beardless » 5 February 2020, 10:00

hey,

I've just came out. I'm 28 and have been in a relationship with a women for 9 years.
I felt so good to come out but now I'm so overwhelmed with all the complications of marriage, a mortgage together etc.

I hope some day to be happy and proud of who I am!
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Re: coming out later in life.

Unread postby kenzie_matt » 5 February 2020, 13:02

Hey.
That sounds really tough, especially with a marriage involved. Really hope you and your wife are able to come to terms with this and reach an amicable agreement.

Cheers,
Matt
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Re: coming out later in life.

Unread postby Safigooner » 5 February 2020, 15:37

kudos to the courage
good luck
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Re: coming out later in life.

Unread postby mxguy01 » 5 February 2020, 16:37

beardless wrote:hey,

I've just came out. I'm 28 and have been in a relationship with a women for 9 years.
I felt so good to come out but now I'm so overwhelmed with all the complications of marriage, a mortgage together etc.

I hope some day to be happy and proud of who I am!


Well first of all understand your not the 1st in that situation, not by a long shot and you won't be the last. Even for me that applies. Your last statement, there should be nothing stopping you from feeling that way today. It's only you who needs to come to that point and you don't need outside validation, or rather shouldn't, for that.

Little details were provided but taking the facts that were, a mortgage, a marriage assuming no kids are not things that are "forever in stone". Hey if the marriage is good I'd say stick with it. I'd recommend coming to terms with either case for what it is and then proceed from there. Sometimes people change. Likely both of you have. Relationships are fluid. They change. Sometimes they end.

Like I said, little details so you left us to guess about much here.
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Re: coming out later in life.

Unread postby beardless » 6 February 2020, 09:02

thanks mxguy01,

no kids involved. It has broken my wifes heart. I can't even look at her anymore because all I think is how much I've hurt her.
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Re: coming out later in life.

Unread postby Jzone » 6 February 2020, 15:59

Ouch, that's rough. If you love each other, and it sounds like you do, you may be able to get through this as friends. The main thing is to be painfully honest with yourself and with her. Go for counseling if she is willing. You are on an unexpected turn on your road of self-discovery, and it is nobody's fault. Having kids would make things much more difficult, so you can be glad you dodged that.

This painful part of the process will take time to get through, but it won't last forever if you deal with it together. Good luck.
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