Hi everyone - I am the son of a lesbian misandrist. Now I am alone.

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Hi everyone - I am the son of a lesbian misandrist. Now I am alone.

Unread postby sirant » 16 July 2021, 16:28

Hi everyone,

Although not gay myself, I have been a part of the gay community since birth, over 50 years. I grew up in a lesbian household with a misandrist. For those that don't know, that is a person who hates men. This has had a dramatic effect on me as I suffered 15 years of physical and emotional abuse before breaking away from my mother at 15 years old and starting life on my own.

Over the following 30 years she continued attacking me and my family, to the point I literally moved to the other side of the planet and broke all contact with her. After much coercion from friends and family I tried reconciling with her many times. In her last correspondence she told me I was dead to her.

Now, at 52 years old I finally have the courage to share my story, but I lack the writing skill and patience to put it all down in words. Instead I am building a podcast, as it is easier for me to share anecdotes and stories about my life in pieces vocally, as opposed to writing something down. I finally made my first 2 podcasts, then my world fell apart on me again....

Now my normally supportive wife and daughter have turned on me too. They are embarrassed of my past and think if I share my story from 40 years ago, it will negatively affect THEIR social media accounts, because some super hacker is going to take my voice and a photo from 40+ years ago, find me, find them and leave them negative remarks because of my past.

This stunned me. I haven't slept in over 24 hours because I can't. My whole world is falling apart. The only family I had left in the universe just ditched me because the idea of me growing up in an abusive "gay" household is too embarrassing for them.

I have told them that I have wanted to share this story for 30 years and finally have the courage to do so, but they shut me down.

I told them I was not going to stop. This was my story and I sincerely doubt "super hackers" out there have any interest in tracking down my wife and daughter because of it. They haven't spoken to me since. My heart is now broken completely and I feel lost.

I feel my only choice now, if I want to continue sharing my story, is to lie to them and tell them I stopped, and only record/post my podcasts at night, when they are in bed. Once again, I am going to have to lie to my loved ones, or live and die alone.

Sorry for the super long intro. I am not in a good place right now and literally have no friends or family to talk with. I feel like I want to blow up. But I am continuing my podcast, regardless of their lack of support, and the possibility of attack from my mother if she ever finds it. If she is still even alive. Who knows....

I had to share this somewhere, i hope this was ok. I would love to know the communities thoughts on this.

Should I just do as they wish and keep my story bottled up forever, because they are embarrassed of me and my life?
Should I continue and risk losing the only two loved ones I have left?

If anyone is interested in hearing my podcast, I will be happy to share here. But I didn't just want to post without asking.

I am MUCH more interested in knowing what you all think though. I am currently lost, and don't know what to think anymore.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEhZ0Xq7WB_o5k0Dc7nIHbg in case anyone wants to know more.

Thanks everyone.

Love.
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sirant
 
Posts: 12
Joined: 16 July 2021, 16:06
Country: Canada (ca)

I am the son of a lesbian misandrist. Now I am alone.

Unread postby sirant » 16 July 2021, 16:32

Hi everyone,

Although not gay myself, I have been a part of the gay community since birth, over 50 years. I grew up in a lesbian household with a misandrist. For those that don't know, that is a person who hates men. This has had a dramatic effect on me as I suffered 15 years of physical and emotional abuse before breaking away from my mother at 15 years old and starting life on my own.

Over the following 30 years she continued attacking me and my family, to the point I literally moved to the other side of the planet and broke all contact with her. After much coercion from friends and family I tried reconciling with her many times. In her last correspondence she told me I was dead to her.

Now, at 52 years old I finally have the courage to share my story, but I lack the writing skill and patience to put it all down in words. Instead I am building a podcast, as it is easier for me to share anecdotes and stories about my life in pieces vocally, as opposed to writing something down. I finally made my first 2 podcasts, then my world fell apart on me again....

Now my normally supportive wife and daughter have turned on me too. They are embarrassed of my past and think if I share my story from 40 years ago, it will negatively affect THEIR social media accounts, because some super hacker is going to take my voice and a photo from 40+ years ago, find me, find them and leave them negative remarks because of my past.

This stunned me. I haven't slept in over 24 hours because I can't. My whole world is falling apart. The only family I had left in the universe just ditched me because the idea of me growing up in an abusive "gay" household is too embarrassing for them.

I have told them that I have wanted to share this story for 30 years and finally have the courage to do so, but they shut me down.

I told them I was not going to stop. This was my story and I sincerely doubt "super hackers" out there have any interest in tracking down my wife and daughter because of it. They haven't spoken to me since. My heart is now broken completely and I feel lost.

I feel my only choice now, if I want to continue sharing my story, is to lie to them and tell them I stopped, and only record/post my podcasts at night, when they are in bed. Once again, I am going to have to lie to my loved ones, or live and die alone.

Sorry for the super long intro. I am not in a good place right now and literally have no friends or family to talk with. I feel like I want to blow up. But I am continuing my podcast, regardless of their lack of support, and the possibility of attack from my mother if she ever finds it. If she is still even alive. Who knows....

I had to share this somewhere, i hope this was ok. I would love to know the communities thoughts on this.

Should I just do as they wish and keep my story bottled up forever, because they are embarrassed of me and my life?
Should I continue and risk losing the only two loved ones I have left?

If anyone is interested in hearing my podcast, I will be happy to share here. But I didn't just want to post without asking.

I am MUCH more interested in knowing what you all think though. I am currently lost, and don't know what to think anymore.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEhZ0X ... k0Dc7nIHbg in case anyone wants to know more.

Thanks everyone.

Love.
User avatar
sirant
 
Posts: 12
Joined: 16 July 2021, 16:06
Country: Canada (ca)

Hi everyone - I am the son of a lesbian misandrist. Now I am alone.

Unread postby sirant » 16 July 2021, 16:39

Hi everyone,
Although not gay myself, I have been a part of the gay community since birth, over 50 years. I grew up in a lesbian household with a misandrist. For those that don't know, that is a person who hates men. This has had a dramatic effect on me as I suffered 15 years of physical and emotional abuse before breaking away from my mother at 15 years old and starting life on my own.
Over the following 30 years she continued attacking me and my family, to the point I literally moved to the other side of the planet and broke all contact with her. After much coercion from friends and family I tried reconciling with her many times. In her last correspondence she told me I was dead to her.
Now, at 52 years old I finally have the courage to share my story, but I lack the writing skill and patience to put it all down in words. Instead, I am building a podcast, as it is easier for me to share anecdotes and stories about my life in pieces vocally, as opposed to writing something down. I finally made my first 2 podcasts, then my world fell apart on me again....
Now my normally supportive wife and daughter have turned on me too. They are embarrassed of my past and think if I share my story from 40 years ago, it will negatively affect THEIR social media accounts, because some super hacker is going to take my voice and a photo from 40+ years ago, find me, find them and leave them negative remarks because of my past.
This stunned me. I haven't slept in over 24 hours because I can't. My whole world is falling apart. The only family I had left in the universe just ditched me because the idea of me growing up in an abusive "gay" household is too embarrassing for them.
I have told them that I have wanted to share this story for 30 years and finally have the courage to do so, but they shut me down.
I told them I was not going to stop. This was my story and I sincerely doubt "super hackers" out there have any interest in tracking down my wife and daughter because of it. They haven't spoken to me since. My heart is now broken completely and I feel lost.
I feel my only choice now, if I want to continue sharing my story, is to lie to them and tell them I stopped, and only record/post my podcasts at night, when they are in bed. Once again, I am going to have to lie to my loved ones, or live and die alone.
Sorry for the super long intro. I am not in a good place right now and literally have no friends or family to talk with. I feel like I want to blow up. But I am continuing my podcast, regardless of their lack of support, and the possibility of attack from my mother if she ever finds it. If she is still even alive. Who knows...?
I had to share this somewhere, i hope this was ok. I would love to know the communities’ thoughts on this.
Should I just do as they wish and keep my story bottled up forever, because they are embarrassed of me and my life?
Should I continue and risk losing the only two loved ones I have left?
If anyone is interested in hearing my podcast, I will be happy to share here. But I didn't just want to post without asking.
I am MUCH more interested in knowing what you all think though. I am currently lost, and don't know what to think anymore.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEhZ0X ... k0Dc7nIHbg in case anyone wants to know more.
Thanks everyone.

Love.
User avatar
sirant
 
Posts: 12
Joined: 16 July 2021, 16:06
Country: Canada (ca)

I am the son of a lesbian misandrist. Now I am alone.

Unread postby sirant » 16 July 2021, 16:41

Hi everyone,
Although not gay myself, I have been a part of the gay community since birth, over 50 years. I grew up in a lesbian household with a misandrist. For those that don't know, that is a person who hates men. This has had a dramatic effect on me as I suffered 15 years of physical and emotional abuse before breaking away from my mother at 15 years old and starting life on my own.
Over the following 30 years she continued attacking me and my family, to the point I literally moved to the other side of the planet and broke all contact with her. After much coercion from friends and family I tried reconciling with her many times. In her last correspondence she told me I was dead to her.

Now, at 52 years old I finally have the courage to share my story, but I lack the writing skill and patience to put it all down in words. Instead, I am building a podcast, as it is easier for me to share anecdotes and stories about my life in pieces vocally, as opposed to writing something down. I finally made my first 2 podcasts, then my world fell apart on me again....
Now my normally supportive wife and daughter have turned on me too. They are embarrassed of my past and think if I share my story from 40 years ago, it will negatively affect THEIR social media accounts, because some super hacker is going to take my voice and a photo from 40+ years ago, find me, find them and leave them negative remarks because of my past.

This stunned me. I haven't slept in over 24 hours because I can't. My whole world is falling apart. The only family I had left in the universe just ditched me because the idea of me growing up in an abusive "gay" household is too embarrassing for them.

Sorry for the super long intro. I am not in a good place right now and literally have no friends or family to talk with. I feel like I want to blow up. But I am continuing my podcast, regardless of their lack of support, and the possibility of attack from my mother if she ever finds it. If she is still even alive. Who knows...?

I had to share this somewhere, i hope this was ok. I would love to know the communities’ thoughts on this.
Should I just do as they wish and keep my story bottled up forever, because they are embarrassed of me and my life?
Should I continue and risk losing the only two loved ones I have left?

If anyone is interested in hearing my podcast, I will be happy to share here. But I didn't just want to post without asking.
I am MUCH more interested in knowing what you all think though. I am currently lost, and don't know what to think anymore.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEhZ0X ... k0Dc7nIHbg in case anyone wants to know more.

Thanks everyone.

Love.
User avatar
sirant
 
Posts: 12
Joined: 16 July 2021, 16:06
Country: Canada (ca)

Re: Hi everyone - I am the son of a lesbian misandrist. Now I am alone

Unread postby Brenden » 16 July 2021, 18:27

Welcome.

I merged all your threads into this one.
Disclaimer: All views expressed in my posts are my own and do not reflect the views of this forum except when otherwise stated or this signature is not present.

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