I figured I should post something here...

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I figured I should post something here...

Unread postby NobodySpecial » 16 November 2018, 23:45

First name:
Nickname(s)?:
Age: 58 -- (59 in early Dec)
Orientation: My partner is all heart and man
Where you live: USA
Where you're from: USA
What you do (job, schooling, etc.): unemployed
Dream Job: winning a huge lottery and spending my time figuring where to donate.
Religion (or lack thereof): yes
Political philosophy: moderation
Interests and hobbies: life
Drinking, drugs or sobriety?:
Special talents:
Pet peeves: I despise coffee. I don't like derogatory terms such as fag, queer, etc.
Personal hero: my partner
Favourite real-life homosexual: my partner
Favourite movies: (only butch stuff like Sound of Music, Wizard of Oz, Postman, Star Trek, Star Wars)
Favourite TV shows: Game of Thrones
Favourite music: (only butch stuff like music from the middle ages, renaissance, baroque, classical, romantic, etc)
Favourite books: SCI FI stuff like the Dune books
Favourite food: Chinese, Indian, Italian , Thai, Mexican are some of my favorite cuisines.
A quote to live by: Maybe I'll have a favorite quote before I die.


I've been reading comments here for about 6 or so months. I finally posted the other day. I'm not looking for love or sex, as I have a man who is so dear to me. I think getting on forums like this is just to remember that we are not alone. I've been on another board for about 15 years. I kind of get tired of it because of the dominance of guys who fall under the category of "totally straight, no interest in men romantically, don't like their bodies, but CRAVE their cock".

Yes I know that sexuality has a physical aspect, but as far as I'm concerned, detach the man from the cock, and you might as well just buy a dildo.

I think most of the posts I have read here are younger guys. I know I had difficulties feeling ok in my skin. However, over time you simply have to accept yourself and to hell with everybody else. I will also say that as much as I loved being inside a guy before ED took over, NOTHING can begin to compare to having a man's heart. Though I've been with my partner for about 16 years, I truly came to understand that a couple of months ago. I almost died after getting a mosquito bite containing West Nile. My partner was at my side in the hospital all those 5 weeks -- only leaving to sleep and take care of our animals. All the while he also had a mother 3 hours away dealing with cancer and heart issues. When I finally came out of sedation and caught this masculine hunk of man crying about almost loosing me, I realized how deeply and genuinely another man could love me. I have never considered loving or even fooling around with another man. He deserves better than me, but I give him all have to give because it is the least I can do. Truly loving another man is the highest level one can attain in homosexuality. The sex acts themselves without that love pale in comparison. I have lots of independent thoughts, but that is the only one I hope really sinks in with younger guys on this forum.
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Re: I figured I should post something here...

Unread postby Jzone » 17 November 2018, 00:48

Welcome, Special (I won't call you Nobody)—

Although we have a variety of characters here, I can't think of anyone on the forum who claims to be straight and craving cock. (Craving cock, maybe.) Love, homosexual or otherwise, is certainly one of the highest human achievements possible. I'm glad you experience that in your relationship.

Jump in any time. The youngsters here could do with some more experienced perspectives.
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Re: I figured I should post something here...

Unread postby PopTart » 17 November 2018, 00:55

Indeed, Welcome Special (totally pleased you got there first Jzone as I'd have likely not thought about it and gone with Nobody :P )

I too love life, so we got that in common! I also love your music choices, totally love me some classical. Your political philosphy, totally lving me some moderation, in politics atleast.

Look forward to getting to know you better.
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Re: I figured I should post something here...

Unread postby NobodySpecial » 17 November 2018, 04:35

Jzone & PopTart,
Thanks for responding. I post now and then in literotica (under a different name). Anyway, many in the gay as well as the "fetish" forums are of the type str8, but crave cock. That is where that topic from. As weird as it sounds, I can dive into similar oddities. I never craved penises, but I do crave the love of a man. My partners privates are beautiful BECAUSE they are part of the whole man. Now granted I do crave hairy behinds or tan lines, but they are meaningless without the man attached to them. Plus if a man lost some part of his body, it is the man who matters, not body parts. I also crave many of the secondary characteristics that testosterone does to a man's body. When I see a photo of just a big penis, I don't think of it in terms of craving it, but rather wishing it were mine, so that I could go further into a man that I love. (I'm just average and have ED.)

I singled out homosexual love (not mentioning heterosexual) in my earlier message because as a groups we are marginalized to be considered hedonists and with
that the stereotype that we harbor diseases. Younger gays need to know that if they want a special someone -- they are out there. You just have to be patient, and BE the kind of person you want to attract. Case in point, I used to be a member of a 12 step for sex addiction. For ME at a point the sex was out of control. While I didn't find salvation in being a life long member, it made me realize that odds of finding someone to settle down with is less likely in venues geared towards getting sex. Today I thought of commenting on one of your treads where a guy was claiming to have a gay friend, but he was pushing a conservative angle, and then someone with a name containing Chinese symbols touted how he would rather die than be gay -- he wanted a conversion process.

Anyway, the tread had gotten real toxic from the second guy, so I'll make my comment here...

In my mid/late 20's I got disgusted with so many who wanted a casual sexual fling, but nothing deeper. So I too stereotyped men (gay men) as being a lost cause for anything other than a sexual release. So I made an action plan:

1) join a group that believed in conversion.
2) make sure I was fertile.
3) date and eventually marry a woman since I wanted a family and wanted a settled down life.

I won't go over #1 as that is a long story in and of itself. #2 is the one I need to focus on. It turns out that I have a VERY VERY low sperm cunt even though I never was injured there nor had something like mumps. Anyway, one night while I awaited the biopsy results taken from my testicles, I lit a candle in church one evening asking God to make the test result show me to be fertile. I would gladly marry a woman and have a family, over the continual bed hopping that life was like for me at the time. Well while I was on my knees, a rather homely and nervous man came and kneeled down beside me and whispered that thanked God that I had used him to get off -- I was his first ever sexual contact with another human being. Oh the absurdity of that moment! There I was praying to God to be fertile so that I could escape the "gay life" that I had felt used in, yet beside me was someone thanking God and ME for being the first one willing to have sex with him. Needless to say, my test results were not good. Karma had shown me that I didn't deserve to have a son when I myself had used another one of God's human sons just to get off. I was a hypocrite wanting to be delivered from a life that I myself perpetuated. I was my own problem -- not other gay men. I never saw that guy again, . I did remember using him late one night in the dark when I was pissed that the person I was into had decided to go out with someone else. This man was sitting in the dark. Like I said, he was plain looking, and he was probably in his late 40's. I'm just sorry that "I" was his first. Someone who cared about him should have been his first -- not me who was just pissed and wanting to get off.

Yes I know its a weird story. I wish I could say the next day, I changed my life around, but it took a long time after that. However, that story stays with me as a reminder that we find in others what we want. If I want to settle down -- I have to be settled in myself. Likewise, as hot as sex for sex only sake can be, you have no idea what is going through the other person's mind. You have to reattach their heart and mind to their penis/ass/mouth/etc that you are attracted to and see them for the human being they really are, or one day you may be ashamed of what you did -- not because it was gay sex, but because it was selfish sex.

I would also add that I think differently than many LGBT as I do not think it is important to think of sexual desire as an orientation, but more as a preference. It isn't about how mutable your preferences may be, but that you have a right to them regardless. My right to love another man shouldn't be based on whether I couldn't help myself. We don't ask a man to justify his falling for a person of a different height, a different weight, a different religion, a different age, etc. So why do gays have to? Would it really be so wrong if a man simply falls in love with another man? I think most of the push for orientation is to satisfy those of religious backgrounds who see the "choice" as sin. I say let them stew in their uncomfortably I shouldn't "need" to prove unchangeable gayness to have the right to emotionally and sexually love another man.

So as you see, my attitudes don't follow the norms. I don't expect anybody to change their ideas from what I say, but perhaps be open to other angles on such topics.
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Re: I figured I should post something here...

Unread postby Tommiebee » 17 November 2018, 13:28

Hi there and welcome NSpecial!
Yes, it is mind numbing to hear the refrain "I'm totally straight but I crave someone's penis!"
Denial.
That river in Egypt plus a few other things.
Although perhaps understandable in some cultural circumstances, nothing to be encouraged here. Here you can let your guard down and drop your pretense.
I am a work in progress. I am so thankful for the opportunity to live my live my own way.
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Re: I figured I should post something here...

Unread postby Jzone » 18 November 2018, 03:58

NobodySpecial wrote:I shouldn't "need" to prove unchangeable gayness to have the right to emotionally and sexually love another man.

I have say, I didn't follow your story entirely and it sounds as if there is much more to it. I do agree 100% with your final point. I don't identify as gay, and even find "bi-sexual" to be less than accurate. I prefer to simply call myself "sexual" without the limitations of additional restrictive labels.

I can be equally attracted to either men or women. Sometimes I am merely physically turned on, but I am much more interested in emotional intimacy for the long term. I'm not opposed to recreational sex, especially when people are young and/or exploring their own sexual interests and attractions. Commitment and monogamy have their own rewards, however, as you know.
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