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Just joined. Hello?

Unread postby thirteen-below » 6 February 2021, 17:57

Did some looking around... This seems like a cool place, so I decided to make an account.

I've been on other internet forums and social media sites, (etc), and I've made great friends and even procured somewhat of a following there. It's not that I dislike this presence I had.

I just felt empty about it, though. Too much attached and too much responsibility. I just want to start over.

So that's why I'm here, I guess. I feel alone a lot, and I have nowhere to go in my personal life.
I have a problem with cutting off people who know me too well. I am prone to transactional relationships, it seems. Fuck.

I hope I can find something here, and perhaps contribute to the community? Don't know.

If I never make another post, well, it was nice interacting with you, and I apologize in advance for this never going anywhere. I hope that isn't the case, though.



Found this questionnaire, though, so I suppose I'll fill it out, considering I'm shit at introducing myself, usually.

Name: I'd prefer if you call me Icarus. It's not my first name, but it's a part of my name.
Age: 17
Orientation: gay as fuck
Where you live: Wisconsin, somewhere along lake Michigan. Terrible place, really.
Where you're from: Been there all my life. I want to leave.
What you do (job, schooling, etc.): High school senior; work part-time at a grocery store.
Dream Job: neuroscience researcher, looking to get my MD.
Religion (or lack thereof): I'm agnostic, truly, but colloquially people in my town just know me as an atheist.
Interests and hobbies: I've been writing all my life, also doing visual art. I recently picked chess back up, as well as singing. I'm starting to learn guitar. I also like to drive endlessly, with no destination. Hiking, camping, and hammocking are things I do in the summer. I used to swim (and I want to again, but it's hard for me). I try to go where people don't know me.
Drinking, drugs or sobriety?: I take alcohol where I can get it. Usually sober though, regrettably.
Special talents: People tell me I'm an eloquent writer and enunciative speaker. Is getting high grades a talent? I don't think I'm worth much.
Pet peeves: People making assumptions about me or my thoughts, dogs, children, large crowds (with some exceptions), country music
Favourite food: I like seafood, especially shellfish. Wild mint is also something I love.
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Re: Just joined. Hello?

Unread postby RenĂ© » 6 February 2021, 18:09

Hey Icarus, welcome :keke:

thirteen-below wrote:Special talents: People tell me I'm an eloquent writer and enunciative speaker. Is getting high grades a talent? I don't think I'm worth much.

Awww. I bet you're worth more than you think.
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Re: Just joined. Hello?

Unread postby thirteen-below » 6 February 2021, 18:14

Thanks for the welcome! I'm a bit nervous about interacting here, but I'm glad to meet you!
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Re: Just joined. Hello?

Unread postby Magic J » 6 February 2021, 19:36

Hi! Welcome to GFO. Hope you do decide to stick around. :D

thirteen-below wrote:gay as fuck

That's very gay indeed. Nice.

thirteen-below wrote:I'm agnostic, truly, but colloquially people in my town just know me as an atheist.

Is that something gossipworthy? I only ask because it seems that openly professing atheism in the US is an actually significant thing that incurs social costs, whilst over here there's not many people who would think it particularly remarkable. :lol:
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Re: Just joined. Hello?

Unread postby thirteen-below » 6 February 2021, 21:32

Magic J wrote:
thirteen-below wrote:I'm agnostic, truly, but colloquially people in my town just know me as an atheist.

Is that something gossipworthy? I only ask because it seems that openly professing atheism in the US is an actually significant thing that incurs social costs, whilst over here there's not many people who would think it particularly remarkable. :lol:

I live in a predominantly conservative Christian area (and even the more left-wing areas closer to the city are religious), so yes, being nonreligious is something that has gotten me in quite a bit of shit.

Even besides petty judgements from others, I was put into therapy in middle school (I think that's called primary school elsewhere, forgive me if my terminology is incorrect) for having a panic attack about going to church (that was just one of many; just happened to be the one that my family caught). A few weeks ago I got diagnosed with PTSD from said therapy, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all.
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Re: Just joined. Hello?

Unread postby Magic J » 6 February 2021, 22:19

thirteen-below wrote:I live in a predominantly conservative Christian area (and even the more left-wing areas closer to the city are religious), so yes, being nonreligious is something that has gotten me in quite a bit of shit.

That sucks. What led you to be irreligious, if you don't mind the question?

It's not something I've ever really had to deal with, personally, not being from a particularly religious family. The occasional accosting by some Jehova's Witnesses is about the worst of it. There's one aunt who's some kind of Elder in the Church of Scotland, but we typically avoid discussing... theological disagreements. God is left as an ecumenical matter, and everybody's content. :P

thirteen-below wrote:Even besides petty judgements from others, I was put into therapy in middle school (I think that's called primary school elsewhere, forgive me if my terminology is incorrect) for having a panic attack about going to church (that was just one of many; just happened to be the one that my family caught). A few weeks ago I got diagnosed with PTSD from said therapy, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all.

Damn, that's crazy, sorry you had to go through that. :( How are you managing with the panic attacks?
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Re: Just joined. Hello?

Unread postby thirteen-below » 7 February 2021, 00:08

Magic J wrote:Damn, that's crazy, sorry you had to go through that. :( How are you managing with the panic attacks?

It varies day by day, but COVID-19 has definitely worsened all of my mental health issues by basically confining me to share a space with my family 24/7.
My dad is an anti-masker and Trump supporter, and it's his way or the high way, most days. Too bad I'm also a stubborn motherfucker, so we tend to be on tense ground.

Thankfully I made it through two bad therapists in around four years (and somehow hadn't offed myself in the meantime. I'm a trans guy, so the statistics there are even more abysmal than average American youth), and I landed with an exceptional counselor the third time testing my luck (and willingness to relive trauma). She's bisexual and has actual ethics, unlike the past two motherfuckers my parents entrusted to my mental health. She keeps me grounded, for the most part, even if it's been getting worse.
She and my small group of online friends are the only things keeping me sane.


And as for what made me irreligious? I don't think I ever truly believed. I just said and did the motions because an 8 year old me didn't want to burn in hell. Too bad I'm probably going there anyways, according to most Christians I know.

Long answer as to my specific beliefs, though? I don't think that we as humans currently have the means to discern whether or not supernatural beings (such as gods) exist or not, due to their nature supposedly being inherently different to that of the natural world, so I don't even bother with the semantics.

If I need to just give a simple answer to people in the street, though, I'll just ask why I should believe in anyone (or anything) specific who has to play mind games with humanity to verify their own existence? Why not just give me (or the human race in general) definitive proof that your following and religion is the "correct" one, and that you are in fact the real deal.
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Re: Just joined. Hello?

Unread postby OutsideIn » 7 February 2021, 02:45

Welcome to the forum.

I didn't even think about what it would be like if I was stuck at home with my family during the pandemic when I was young. I am going to have nightmares now. Thanks.
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Re: Just joined. Hello?

Unread postby thirteen-below » 7 February 2021, 03:18

OutsideIn wrote:Welcome to the forum.

I didn't even think about what it would be like if I was stuck at home with my family during the pandemic when I was young. I am going to have nightmares now. Thanks.

Thank you for the welcome! And I don't blame you. I don't think I would want to either had I not been forced into this situation. Hopefully I'll be able to go to university soon.
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Re: Just joined. Hello?

Unread postby Lord Dweebington » 7 February 2021, 04:02

My dad is definitely a Trump supporter, too. He likes to think of himself as a "free thinker" (not his words, but they're accurate to his self-ascribed mindset), but he always plays "devil's advocate" about any liberal policy or statement. It's annoying not being able to tell just how deep down the rabbit hole he is. I just moved back in with him after not renewing a lease with friends. I wonder how this will go.
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Re: Just joined. Hello?

Unread postby thirteen-below » 7 February 2021, 04:40

Lord Dweebington wrote:My dad is definitely a Trump supporter, too. He likes to think of himself as a "free thinker" (not his words, but they're accurate to his self-ascribed mindset), but he always plays "devil's advocate" about any liberal policy or statement. It's annoying not being able to tell just how deep down the rabbit hole he is. I just moved back in with him after not renewing a lease with friends. I wonder how this will go.

Sounds a lot like my father as well. He's also an enigma on how far gone he is, but either way, it's not like I care. Either way he's a piece of shit who couldn't give less of a damn about me beyond what I am capable of doing for society.
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Re: Just joined. Hello?

Unread postby Magic J » 7 February 2021, 15:45

thirteen-below wrote:It varies day by day, but COVID-19 has definitely worsened all of my mental health issues by basically confining me to share a space with my family 24/7.

Yeah, it's been getting pretty tough being cooped up for so long. Hopefully we'll keep seeing hospital admissions decline into the Spring and continue rolling out vaccines efficiently. And hopefully it won't interfere too badly with your university plans! Neuroscience or medicine, I take it? Very cool, either way.

thirteen-below wrote:And as for what made me irreligious? I don't think I ever truly believed. I just said and did the motions because an 8 year old me didn't want to burn in hell.

Same, but I didn't even really go through the motions. Sunday school was just a place I went to so my gran could have peace for a few hours. :lol: Thankfully, there wasn't much opportunity to instill fear of hell-fire.

thirteen-below wrote:Long answer as to my specific beliefs, though? I don't think that we as humans currently have the means to discern whether or not supernatural beings (such as gods) exist or not, due to their nature supposedly being inherently different to that of the natural world, so I don't even bother with the semantics.

I'd say I'm occasionally tactically agnostic. Usually go with the "suspending disbelief" route and see if it leads to interesting places. :P For instance, I'm told there's some very interesting work being done by neuroscientists on the effects "psychedelic" compounds can have on the brain, and how these relate to religious experience. Whether or not the experience is "real" could be in many ways irrelevant.
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