Re-introducing Myself After Many Years

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Re-introducing Myself After Many Years

Unread postby goldendragoninator » 28 March 2021, 00:44

It has been a long time since I have been on the forum. Basically, life and Covid-19 happened.

My weight is something I'm battling with right now and endeavoring to bring it down.

Right now, I'm studying a lot in the mental health and wellness field and hope when I receive these certifications, I can help others, besides the current job I have. I also play several musical instruments and can play many styles.

I discovered my sexual orientation is pansexual. I am mono in relationship terms and accept all genders!

Also, it would nice to have friends in the LGTB+ community, so feel free to message me or reply to my posts!
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Re: Re-introducing Myself After Many Years

Unread postby McTaggartfan » 28 March 2021, 01:09

goldendragoninator wrote:It has been a long time since I have been on the forum. Basically, life and Covid-19 happened.

My weight is something I'm battling with right now and endeavoring to bring it down.

Right now, I'm studying a lot in the mental health and wellness field and hope when I receive these certifications, I can help others, besides the current job I have. I also play several musical instruments and can play many styles.

I discovered my sexual orientation is pansexual. I am mono in relationship terms and accept all genders!

Also, it would nice to have friends in the LGTB+ community, so feel free to message me or reply to my posts!


Welcome! I too am pansexual! For my part, personality and intellect matter considerably more than what a person looks like, much less with what gender they identify themselves! Anyway, maybe once you get those certifications you can help me out with my struggles when it comes to depression and anxiety (a nightmare, I assure you) :lol:

In any case, I admire your determination to lose weight—something which I've not the patience to focus upon right now myself (I used to be so very fit!).

What musical instruments do you play, by the way?
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Re: Re-introducing Myself After Many Years

Unread postby Satinesque » 28 March 2021, 01:23

Hi, Goldie...

I'm bonkers about psychology and psychotherapy/ies and have been all my adult life - a big chunk of decades, indeed. I also suffer from around 6 different/connected psychological problems and some have been around for close to 51 years, now....crikey!!! :) They include periodic clinical Reactive Depression, and various Anxiety-related troubles, especially the multi-phobic arena!

I also would like to lose weight...I'm about a stone overweight and I am really trying! :D

Stefan.
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Re: Re-introducing Myself After Many Years

Unread postby goldendragoninator » 28 March 2021, 02:57

McTaggartfan wrote:
goldendragoninator wrote:Welcome! I too am pansexual! For my part, personality and intellect matter considerably more than what a person looks like, much less with what gender they identify themselves! Anyway, maybe once you get those certifications you can help me out with my struggles when it comes to depression and anxiety (a nightmare, I assure you) :lol:

In any case, I admire your determination to lose weight—something which I've not the patience to focus upon right now myself (I used to be so very fit!).

What musical instruments do you play, by the way?


Wow! I didn't expect another pan (i.e. what I call pansexual in short)! And yes personality and intellect s the same for me. :)

I prefer those with who I can converse on all kinds of deep topics. Many of them taboo! And I'm a growing kind of guy. I believe in lifelong learning.

One thing I will tell you straight away from the course I'm learning right now is that depression is usually feeling down about the past and that anxiety is worrying about the future. It is stuff that we store in our minds because that's how we're programmed. That's a whole another thing! Mindfulness is another course I'm taking in association with that. And there's a lot of great I'm learning!

And yes, I used to be fit way back when I was younger. I'm studying this course on Holistic Health and there's a lot of information in it. It's like 4-5 courses in one! So, that will take me time. It's all self-paced, of course, which is what I really like.

I remember about 10+ years ago, I was on this dating site. This was before they had mobile apps. There was this overweight guy on there and I had pre-conceived judgements concerning having a relationship with him. It's one of those life lessons you learn. In a nutshell, I could have had a relationship with someone who was a radio host. And later, I saw on his profile that he was skinnny. So, I learned that looks aren't everything. They can change if the partner wants it. Of course, it helps when you have support, as well! I still think about my not acting on it just because of his weight. It shouldn't be the biggest determining thing in a relationship. That's what I learned!

So, you are beautiful as you are!

In terms of musical instruments? Well, I started out on the organ. My mother taught me a few things around 8 or 9ish years old. Stuff like 1-3-5 in different keys and 1-3-5-7. Although, I learned 1-3-5-6 chords on my own. And it's harder because of pedals on the floor involved. Those chords I learned on the organ helped me when I learned the piano and I took private lessons on that.

During that year, I also decided to get drums, which helped with my rhythm. I took some lessons on drums. And that's without ever having a drum set and only practice pads and the school's drum set! So, yes, I was in the marching band, concert band, gospel choir (i.e. and no, I'm no bible thumper! That's another story! I played keyboard and drums and learned how to develop singing skills). Long story short, I learn congas, bass guitar, some regular guitar, and later learning the digeridoo and harmonica.

How about you? Are you musically inclined?
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Re: Re-introducing Myself After Many Years

Unread postby goldendragoninator » 28 March 2021, 03:04

Satinesque wrote:Hi, Goldie...

I'm bonkers about psychology and psychotherapy/ies and have been all my adult life - a big chunk of decades, indeed. I also suffer from around 6 different/connected psychological problems and some have been around for close to 51 years, now....crikey!!! :) They include periodic clinical Reactive Depression, and various Anxiety-related troubles, especially the multi-phobic arena!

I also would like to lose weight...I'm about a stone overweight and I am really trying! :D

Stefan.


Wow! That's quite a mouthful of psychological symptoms if you ask me! Of course, I don't really like labels, but how else do we identify conditions, right??!! I'm sure that's in the Mental Health course I will be certified in. I'll be a Mental Health Coach for starters, after that course. ;)

Concerning weight, for me, it's more about control and keeping up the good healthy habits. I have tried some diets but kept reverting to normal eating. However, I will say I have cut back on the amount that I used to eat. And that's a grand thing! It also helps that I work in a job where I'm walking a lot. Burning those calories means quite a bit! My goal is to get back to the original weight in 9th grade in high school, which was when I was most fit. It didn't help that my first job was working in fast food!
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Re: Re-introducing Myself After Many Years

Unread postby goldendragoninator » 28 March 2021, 03:23

McTaggartfan wrote:
goldendragoninator wrote:Welcome! I too am pansexual! For my part, personality and intellect matter considerably more than what a person looks like, much less with what gender they identify themselves! Anyway, maybe once you get those certifications you can help me out with my struggles when it comes to depression and anxiety (a nightmare, I assure you) :lol:


Also, I just checked out your blog. And wow, you know quite some chess! I remember picking up some library books on how to win at chess when I was in high school. Of course, for me, it was hard to memorize all the moves. But, even to this day, I still love it and just have gotten interested in other things. You would beat me if we had a match! It's been so long since I have played.

Have you tried 3D chess? I would think that's even more challenging because of the multiple chess boards!

Based on what I've seen on your profile, you seem to have a pleasant blend of both sides of the brain (i.e. logical and creative). I try to keep a balance on both the creative and logical sides of my personality. I feel music is the creative side and the courses I'm taking along with computers are my logical side. :)

P.S. I can help you to the best of my ability with your anxiety and/or depression. If you feel inclined, you can privately message me and as I get more information, I can relay it to you for remedies and solutions. You can be my first client. No pressures or cost!
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Re: Re-introducing Myself After Many Years

Unread postby Raynethemagi » 28 March 2021, 10:21

Awwwww, welcome to the forums! I hope you find community here!
Here's an example of the Universe trying to tell you that you need healing in an area of your life:

Someone who struggles with showing emotion. This person, in their lifetime, will constantly struggle with this, and that is because, they choose to ignore or disregard the fact that they have trouble showing emotion. Most people will ignore this issue, and will continue to fracture themselves. And this goes with pretty much any problem that happens in your life that is recurring. Don't pass up an opportunity to make you "whole" again.
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Re: Re-introducing Myself After Many Years

Unread postby goldendragoninator » 28 March 2021, 19:54

Raynethemagi wrote:Awwwww, welcome to the forums! I hope you find community here!


I hope that you don't mind that I saw your other posts and agree with many of them. If I may ask, what kind of therapist are you attempting to be?

Some additional tidbits about me:

I never have been married and wouldn't know what that feels like (i.e. have there been any pansexual marriages out there?!!). ! I love encouraging others, and that's why I want to do it professionally at this point in time. I agree with a 50/50 relationship. A perfect person is someone I know I'm not. However, I learn to grow and strive to be a better person! And yes, I always gravitated towards the "self-help" section in traditional bookstores. :)
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Re: Re-introducing Myself After Many Years

Unread postby Raynethemagi » 29 March 2021, 03:55

goldendragoninator wrote:
Raynethemagi wrote:Awwwww, welcome to the forums! I hope you find community here!


I hope that you don't mind that I saw your other posts and agree with many of them. If I may ask, what kind of therapist are you attempting to be?

Some additional tidbits about me:

I never have been married and wouldn't know what that feels like (i.e. have there been any pansexual marriages out there?!!). ! I love encouraging others, and that's why I want to do it professionally at this point in time. I agree with a 50/50 relationship. A perfect person is someone I know I'm not. However, I learn to grow and strive to be a better person! And yes, I always gravitated towards the "self-help" section in traditional bookstores. :)


So, I aim to be a therapist, but not in a conventional sense. Cause my methods are very unconventional. I kind of challenge traditional approaches to dealing with a problem. I'll be honest, I'm not going to sit here and downplay any way a therapist approaches problems. Because, the truth is, different advice works for different people. There are some people I know who've benefitted greatly from therapists, even couples.

I guess I base how I approach problems with something that I've found that works wonders. I had a spiritual teacher who is wonderful and there are times I will still go to her on certain issues.

Here's how I approach my practice, and I find that it works best most of the time: I firmly believe that when we are born, we are born as whole people. Babies are usually pretty happy most of the time. Yes sometimes they cry or get upset, but for the most part, babies are pretty happy people. And, that's because, babies are really good at being highly in-tune with their emotions. If something upsets them, they'll let you know. If something makes them happy, they'll let you know. And, as we get older and start to develop, and after our needs start to get met, we start to desire to meet our own needs.

However, in the process of meeting our own needs, there's a little bit of frustration. You have to remember, something that is traumatic to a 3 year old is vastly different than what is traumatic for a 25 year old. For example, let's say there's a 3 year old who has a fascination with their Mom's necklace. That 3 year old is curious about it, and wants to hold it in their hand. So, the 3 year old crawls to their mother's room and see's that necklace. It grabs the necklace, and as the toddler grabs the necklace, the Mother sees the 3 year old do this.

Now this is an expensive necklace, and the Mother treasures that necklace. The Mother picks up the toddler, takes the necklace away from the toddler and puts it on her vanity. That toddler gets very upset and starts crying and fussing. This is a form of trauma for the toddler. Now, of course, all of us adults think that the Mother was just trying to protect her belongings. And, let's be honest, no one likes someone who messes with their things without their permission. I don't like other people touching my things when I haven't given them permission to either.

But, again, the toddler doesn't know that. In the toddler's mind, it wanted to play around with the necklace. The toddler doesn't see that that's Mama's expensive necklace. So, the toddler gets mad and upset, and is traumatized because it really wanted to play with that necklace.

Now, you could argue how that has any relevance in how someone lives their lives. Let's say this is a chronic thing with this particular child. The child's always fascinated with things that shouldn't be messed with. And after being told time and time again, and getting traumatized time and time again, it's normal to eventually just suppress that feeling. Right? Cause, that same toddler is still learning, and it's learning that it's just not right to touch something that isn't yours.

Well, let's say that same kid is now 16 years old. And, let's say this 16 year old grows up with the mindset that if it's not yours don't touch it. Now, we can all agree that that's a normal thought. Don't touch it if it isn't yours. But let's say that because as a child they were scolded for touching something that isn't theirs, they go to the extreme with it now that they're 16.

So let's say the 16 yr. old wants to get some money and gets an odd job like mowing other people's lawns. Well, the 16 yr. old has no money to get his own equipment, so unfortunately he can only mow for people who are willing to let him use their lawn mowers and their gas. Well, since the 16 year old went through that trauma, the normal human response is to avoid things that make us unhappy.

So, every person he goes to, he always makes sure to ask their permission if they can use their lawn equipment to mow their lawn. And they ask every single person, because they don't want to deal with someone getting mad at him for using their lawn equipment.

That's not the best example I can think of, but there are many reasons why we act the way we do, and a lot of the weird things we do is because of what we experienced as children. I've had people I've helped who literally found out that they were afraid to enter the world. Yes, there's a lot of people who get traumatized from going through the birth canal and coming out to greet the world as a newborn, but it happens!

And, really, it's when we grow up is when we start breaking. And that's because we grow up being told that there are certain things that are unacceptable. Now, is it the parents fault? No, because in order for us to be successful in the world, there are certain things that most adults deem unacceptable, and won't get us anywhere.

Let's be honest, let's say you are an interviewer who is trying to find the best candidate for the job vacancy you want to fill. You interview 2 people. Both people are dressed up, and both people have great interview skills. The only problem is, one person picks their nose every 5 minutes, and one has perfect manners. Who do you think would have a better chance at landing the job? Probably the one with perfect manners. So, it's not that we're trying to set our children up for failure, but you can't just pick your nose when you're being interviewed either.

So, we grow up, and since we go through a lot of trauma, we essentially break ourselves. And we break ourselves to the point where we settle and we become decent people to be around, but at the cost of being broken.

But now, we have a broken person. This is where integration comes into play. All integration is doing is helping to either come to a resolution or to accept the parts that you don't like about yourself. It's essentially what I call "shadow work." When you integrate, you're essentially shining a light on both the good things and the bad things about yourself, and making you not just aware that you have flaws, but that to accept these flawed characteristics of yourself.

And, some of these "flaws" you can resolve. But some of these are just things you have to accept about yourself, no matter how hard it might be. This process of integration can also be called "Inner child therapy." I'm thoroughly convinced that the more we delve into our childhood and try to make peace or even heal the wounds that have caused us to be who we are today, that we can become more "whole" or feel more complete.

When I first started the process of inner child therapy, it was tough. There's a very good exercise that anyone can do to target the root or the "source" of the trauma that has caused you to be who you are today. Well, I did this exercise, and let me tell you, this exercise is not for the faint of heart. Cause the exercise requires you to recall memories that you've either pushed aside because of how traumatic they were, or have forgotten because the pain of that certain memory was too much.

I started, all the way when I was very young up till now, a 31 year old male. My integration process was surreal. I mean, the memories, even the ones that I've repressed because of the trauma associated with those particular memories, came coming back. Cause, the process of integration requires you to relive that past trauma. For me, the pain felt so real and so vivid, that I started crying because, it was like I was truly reliving these events. It was literally like I was traveling back in time and trying to undo the wrongs that have been done to me. You even get to experience what it's like to be 3 years old and to be traumatized over something as simple as your parent taking your binky away from you.

So, the way I approach helping someone is to find the source of the trauma and either resolve it, or make peace with it in some way. Because, if you don't resolve your "brokenness", certain issues that have plagued you your whole life will keep showing up in your life. And that's because, it's the Universe's way of trying to draw your attention to a part of you that is broken and that needs to be resolved in some way.

I could go on about it more, but that's how I approach problems. Hope this helps! I want to be an RTT (Rapid Transformational Therapist), but any kind of therapy would be good too, especially inner child therapy.
Here's an example of the Universe trying to tell you that you need healing in an area of your life:

Someone who struggles with showing emotion. This person, in their lifetime, will constantly struggle with this, and that is because, they choose to ignore or disregard the fact that they have trouble showing emotion. Most people will ignore this issue, and will continue to fracture themselves. And this goes with pretty much any problem that happens in your life that is recurring. Don't pass up an opportunity to make you "whole" again.
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Re: Re-introducing Myself After Many Years

Unread postby goldendragoninator » 29 March 2021, 06:42

Thanks for sharing that, Raynethemagi ! It was enlightening. :)

It makes you think about all of those whom you encounter. You notice their behaviors and realize there's history to their behavioral patterns. I think it's fascinating how we're "programmed" to do certain things from birth until the present moment.

Presently, I'm taking a course on depression, because I feel that's very common these days. Every person seems to go through it in their own unique way. And, of course, there are other unique factors involving it, too.

I'll give you an example, Kain Ramsey, the guy who's teaching this course, is in Scotland. Over there, he said, you'll find a lot of angry people. It's not they intend to be that way. But, if you were to question their motives for the reason they exhibit anger, they wouldn't be able to give you a solid enough reason. They just are! Of course, not all of them are. Many of them have flawed programming in their past. Many are unpleasant experiences that influence their anger emotion.

Also, he thought that being in the military would bring him attention and recognition. He realized that being in the Army isn't everything. Many years later. He didn't achieve the happiness he desired and ultimate fulfillment there. His fulfillment came when he studied to become a therapist and teach others about what he learned and helps people around the world. Depression is just one of them he has dealt with!

What I discovered is that the first thing that needs to happen with your depression is to be broken down. It's like peeling the layer of an onion. It goes right down to the core beliefs. And then you plant better beliefs and later can live an improved life if you choose. And you will eventually discover your happiness / the things that make you happy. Finding that happiness is important. You deserve to be happy. I repeat: you (and everyone else) deserve happiness! So, the material in this course I'm taking on depression breaks you down and then builds you back up. You need to get to the root of things which are your beliefs / your neuro programming! And I think in the end, he has you re-program your beliefs. Time will tell! :)

Obviously, with the current depression course, it's not "Depression Coaching," it's "Depression Counseling"!

Another course I'll be taking will be about NLP (a.k.a. Neuro-Linguistic Programming). What we program in our minds can affect how we decide. I think it elaborates more on this re-programming of the mind. I also bought some on anxiety, phobias, and panic attacks, which are also quite common conditions. However, my title is more of a coach and counselor than a therapist. I believe it employs some concepts of therapy. Soon, I will know!

And then later, through experience, I can choose life coaching. That encompasses a lot of core topics (i.e. business, career, relationships, etc.). As you may tell, I have a variety of interesting topics I enjoy.

By the way, does this "inner child" have anything to do with John Bradshaw's "Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child" book?
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Re: Re-introducing Myself After Many Years

Unread postby Raynethemagi » 29 March 2021, 16:17

goldendragoninator wrote:Thanks for sharing that, Raynethemagi ! It was enlightening. :)

It makes you think about all of those whom you encounter. You notice their behaviors and realize there's history to their behavioral patterns. I think it's fascinating how we're "programmed" to do certain things from birth until the present moment.

Presently, I'm taking a course on depression, because I feel that's very common these days. Every person seems to go through it in their own unique way. And, of course, there are other unique factors involving it, too.

I'll give you an example, Kain Ramsey, the guy who's teaching this course, is in Scotland. Over there, he said, you'll find a lot of angry people. It's not they intend to be that way. But, if you were to question their motives for the reason they exhibit anger, they wouldn't be able to give you a solid enough reason. They just are! Of course, not all of them are. Many of them have flawed programming in their past. Many are unpleasant experiences that influence their anger emotion.

Also, he thought that being in the military would bring him attention and recognition. He realized that being in the Army isn't everything. Many years later. He didn't achieve the happiness he desired and ultimate fulfillment there. His fulfillment came when he studied to become a therapist and teach others about what he learned and helps people around the world. Depression is just one of them he has dealt with!

What I discovered is that the first thing that needs to happen with your depression is to be broken down. It's like peeling the layer of an onion. It goes right down to the core beliefs. And then you plant better beliefs and later can live an improved life if you choose. And you will eventually discover your happiness / the things that make you happy. Finding that happiness is important. You deserve to be happy. I repeat: you (and everyone else) deserve happiness! So, the material in this course I'm taking on depression breaks you down and then builds you back up. You need to get to the root of things which are your beliefs / your neuro programming! And I think in the end, he has you re-program your beliefs. Time will tell! :)

Obviously, with the current depression course, it's not "Depression Coaching," it's "Depression Counseling"!

Another course I'll be taking will be about NLP (a.k.a. Neuro-Linguistic Programming). What we program in our minds can affect how we decide. I think it elaborates more on this re-programming of the mind. I also bought some on anxiety, phobias, and panic attacks, which are also quite common conditions. However, my title is more of a coach and counselor than a therapist. I believe it employs some concepts of therapy. Soon, I will know!

And then later, through experience, I can choose life coaching. That encompasses a lot of core topics (i.e. business, career, relationships, etc.). As you may tell, I have a variety of interesting topics I enjoy.

By the way, does this "inner child" have anything to do with John Bradshaw's "Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child" book?


Well, honestly everything that I have learned about inner child therapy came from my Spiritual Mentor. I know many people do not like Spirituality, and a lot of her teachings have to do with the human spirit. That's why I never go into the Spiritual aspects of how I approach problems, cause I want to help as many people as possible. And unfortunately, we live in a world where religion and politics will dictate who a person believes in. That's not always the case, but, I want to reach out to as many people as possible, and so I tend to keep quiet about my beliefs.

But, if you're interested in my beliefs in more depth, you're more than welcome to private message me, and I'll tell you my Spiritual beliefs and even Political beliefs. I just don't want to talk about it publicly.
Here's an example of the Universe trying to tell you that you need healing in an area of your life:

Someone who struggles with showing emotion. This person, in their lifetime, will constantly struggle with this, and that is because, they choose to ignore or disregard the fact that they have trouble showing emotion. Most people will ignore this issue, and will continue to fracture themselves. And this goes with pretty much any problem that happens in your life that is recurring. Don't pass up an opportunity to make you "whole" again.
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Re: Re-introducing Myself After Many Years

Unread postby goldendragoninator » 30 March 2021, 00:47

I already sent you a message, if you're interested.

I'm not too much into politics, personally. It's hard not knowing the motives of the parties. But, that's a personal view and each person has the right to their views!

Agreed. Politics, spirituality, or religion is something I wouldn't discuss, as that would be a separate forum within itself!

Today I bought a course on Cognitive Based Therapy for Driving, because I didn't realize I had a fear of driving long distances. I know of people who can drive long distances by themselves and have always wondered how that was possible. I didn't know it could be a fear!

I can drive local distances up to a point but fear driving from state to state. Does that sound crazy??!!
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Re: Re-introducing Myself After Many Years

Unread postby Brenden » 30 March 2021, 13:10

Welcome back!

goldendragoninator wrote:My weight is something I'm battling with right now and endeavoring to bring it down.

You should check out the book The Obesity Code by Dr Jason Fung. :nod:
Disclaimer: All views expressed in my posts are my own and do not reflect the views of this forum except when otherwise stated or this signature is not present.

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