Am I obsessed?

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Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Iamjava » 12 July 2019, 15:43

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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Eryx » 12 July 2019, 17:23

It's reasonable to want to know why, a friend of mine completely ghosted me on my birthday (after she said she was on her way) and it still makes me crazy two years later. I've given up hope to ever get a reply from her.

But if he's not answering your e-mail, then that's that. He's already seen that you're looking for him. He has the responsibility, or rather, the option to be upfront and tell you what's going on with him. I don't think you should try to corral him into giving you an answer. That might make things worse than they already are.

I'm sorry you're going through this.
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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 12 July 2019, 17:32

Eryx wrote:It's reasonable to want to know why, a friend of mine completely ghosted me on my birthday (after she said she was on her way) and it still makes me crazy two years later. I've given up hope to ever get a reply from her.

Wth? That’s so fucked up!
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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Iamjava » 12 July 2019, 17:48

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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby netflix_n_chill » 12 July 2019, 21:14

I don't know too much about your story because I haven't been around here for a while. But I think you already got all the answers you need. He could have told you the reasons but he chose not to because he's a coward. It is easy to cut all the ties without saying a word, no excuses, no lies, no reasons. So he just did it to you.

The first couple of months are the worst but it will get better if you don't hold on too strong. Just give yourself some time and space to reflect on things. Don't try to look for the answers, don't blame yourself because it doesn't change anything and only makes you sink in even more. You might want to pick up a new hobby, spend more time with your friends and family and meet up with new people. It will keep you busy for a while until you're ready to move on.

Sometimes people just walk out of our life without closing the door and leave us forever wondering what went wrong. It's one of the worst feelings but it's not the end of the world. They did their part in our stories but it's not the end, it's always up to you to decide on the next chapter of your life.

Just try to focus on yourself and your life more, soon you'll be over it and find the balance in your life again.
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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Iamjava » 13 July 2019, 03:11

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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Ammon » 16 July 2019, 19:48

Damn, nobody deserves this. He should’ve had the balls to tell you the reason. But what I can tell you for sure is you’re in the long run better off.. Life is too short to keep wondering about what you did wrong.. All I can see is that he did you wrong and a favor.. You might not see it that way cuz it’s still fresh, but I hope it wont take you too long to figure that out!

On the other hand.. You said his family aswell, which makes me wonder, what’s the last thing you guys spoke of? Were there really no red flags, you can come up with, something that wasn’t obvious then, but is now?

Either way, don’t use drinking as a way to escape reality, it will only slow the process of your pain. Instead do something that will help you be a better you!
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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Iamjava » 16 July 2019, 19:57

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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Ammon » 16 July 2019, 19:59

Eryx wrote:It's reasonable to want to know why, a friend of mine completely ghosted me on my birthday (after she said she was on her way) and it still makes me crazy two years later. I've given up hope to ever get a reply from her.

But if he's not answering your e-mail, then that's that. He's already seen that you're looking for him. He has the responsibility, or rather, the option to be upfront and tell you what's going on with him. I don't think you should try to corral him into giving you an answer. That might make things worse than they already are.

I'm sorry you're going through this.


Sorry to hear this, but why is this still making you crazy? This happened to me too with my best friend, he never showed up on my birthdays, but I aways did on his birthdays and babyshower, after the 4th birthday I too never heard from him again.

I don’t mind paying for friends and buying gifts etc.. but if this always has to come from my end eventually you grow tired of the excuses and what not.. Still miss him tho because he was the first straight man that I told about my sexuality and he accepted me. But to say it drives me crazy.. No
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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Ammon » 16 July 2019, 20:05

Iamjava wrote:Really, I think the last thing we at all talked about was a few texts saying he's too busy to talk. Before the he was pissed at me because I bought him a $180 gold wristband for his birthday. He was mad because I'm cash constraint and spent a lot of money.

Today I think I'll swap between practicing my electric guitar and relearning php. All I can do..


Try remembering before he told you that he was busy and the gift. When he wasn’t mad, he must’ve dropped a hint..

That’s a good thing to relearn php! In my dark times I learned 3d design, but you need to do outdoor activities aswell, Hitting the gym is also a very nice way to stay healthy, and also good for your mind! Who knows you meet someone fun and if not atleast you got some eyecandies walking around while you burning them callories! ;-)
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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Eryx » 16 July 2019, 20:16

Ammon wrote:Sorry to hear this, but why is this still making you crazy? This happened to me too with my best friend, he never showed up on my birthdays, but I aways did on his birthdays and babyshower, after the 4th birthday I too never heard from him again.
It doesn't really keep me awake at night, it's just that I keep thinking with a friend in common about what we could have done to make her do this. We'd go out together every weekend, we talked the whole week about our lives, we had two different groups on our phones where we messaged together all the time, there was simply nothing wrong and she wasn't ever a flake. I even had a 3x4 picture of her in my wallet.

Sometimes, I look at all our pictures together on Google Photos and wonder how she's doing, what the fuck happened, why she made such a harsh decision. It's crazy too because I saw her best friend like twice while out for drinks, but after that she vanished as well, I've never seen that specific group of friends ever again and no one's reached out to me or my friend.

It's just a weird situation I can't help but remember from time to time.
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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Ammon » 16 July 2019, 20:30

Eryx wrote:
Ammon wrote:Sorry to hear this, but why is this still making you crazy? This happened to me too with my best friend, he never showed up on my birthdays, but I aways did on his birthdays and babyshower, after the 4th birthday I too never heard from him again.
It doesn't really keep me awake at night, it's just that I keep thinking with a friend in common about what we could have done to make her do this. We'd go out together every weekend, we talked the whole week about our lives, we had two different groups on our phones where we messaged together all the time, there was simply nothing wrong and she wasn't ever a flake. I even had a 3x4 picture of her in my wallet.

Sometimes, I look at all our pictures together on Google Photos and wonder how she's doing, what the fuck happened, why she made such a harsh decision. It's crazy too because I saw her best friend like twice while out for drinks, but after that she vanished as well, I've never seen that specific group of friends ever again and no one's reached out to me or my friend.

It's just a weird situation I can't help but remember from time to time.


Aww, truly sorry to hear this, if she only knew who she ghosted! And weird indeed that her friend did the same..

Plenty enough people that would probably be happy to take her place and be the good friend you deserve!
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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Iamjava » 16 July 2019, 20:53

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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Ammon » 16 July 2019, 21:28

Iamjava wrote:
Ammon wrote:
Iamjava wrote:Really, I think the last thing we at all talked about was a few texts saying he's too busy to talk. Before the he was pissed at me because I bought him a $180 gold wristband for his birthday. He was mad because I'm cash constraint and spent a lot of money.

Today I think I'll swap between practicing my electric guitar and relearning php. All I can do..


Try remembering before he told you that he was busy and the gift. When he wasn’t mad, he must’ve dropped a hint..

That’s a good thing to relearn php! In my dark times I learned 3d design, but you need to do outdoor activities aswell, Hitting the gym is also a very nice way to stay healthy, and also good for your mind! Who knows you meet someone fun and if not atleast you got some eyecandies walking around while you burning them callories! ;-)


I'm broke to the point that I'm sober til Friday. I may go on a walk with my dog later into the woods. Maybe.



Try to fix the reason you are broke.. ?
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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Iamjava » 16 July 2019, 22:03

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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Ammon » 16 July 2019, 22:18

Iamjava wrote:I'm in the second poorest county in Florida. I'm lucky I'm paid a little over minimum wage...


I understand, but I mean trying to make some changes with what you spend on, or maybe trying to find a second job? For me it helped me moving to another city, rent was cheaper, paycheck was bigger.
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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Iamjava » 16 July 2019, 22:32

Oh rent is dirt cheap here I've just been broke the past few months because of unexpected expenses.
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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Iamjava » 16 July 2019, 22:57

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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Ammon » 16 July 2019, 23:08

Iamjava wrote:And so my venture back into web development begins.... Again...

<?php

require("/config.php");
require("/header.php");

$page = $_GET['page'];

if($page!=""){
require($page.".php") or die("the requested page does not exist.");
} else {

require("/home.php");

}

require("/footer.php");

?>



Oh god, goodluck lol
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Re: Am I obsessed?

Unread postby Derek » 16 July 2019, 23:27

Eryx wrote:
Ammon wrote:Sorry to hear this, but why is this still making you crazy? This happened to me too with my best friend, he never showed up on my birthdays, but I aways did on his birthdays and babyshower, after the 4th birthday I too never heard from him again.
It doesn't really keep me awake at night, it's just that I keep thinking with a friend in common about what we could have done to make her do this. We'd go out together every weekend, we talked the whole week about our lives, we had two different groups on our phones where we messaged together all the time, there was simply nothing wrong and she wasn't ever a flake. I even had a 3x4 picture of her in my wallet.

Sometimes, I look at all our pictures together on Google Photos and wonder how she's doing, what the fuck happened, why she made such a harsh decision. It's crazy too because I saw her best friend like twice while out for drinks, but after that she vanished as well, I've never seen that specific group of friends ever again and no one's reached out to me or my friend.

It's just a weird situation I can't help but remember from time to time.

Well now that's gonna keep me up at night. How mysterious.
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