Am I wrong for wanting sex more than my partner?

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Am I wrong for wanting sex more than my partner?

Unread postby Rvalentine24 » 13 May 2019, 14:59

My botfriend (29) and i (25) have been together for 3 years this month. The beginning of our relationship, sex was great. We were doing it at least once a week even when we didn’t live together and he lives with his sisters (i’m pointing this out because there were obstacles in the way that he overcame to have sex with me). I did not think that sex was going to be a problem when we first got together since we did it often enough to meet my needs and it was honestly pretty good back then (he used to be able to make me cum and now i don’t anymore, i’m the bottom).

Fast forward to a year into our relationship and everything changed. We aren’t doing it as much, but still way more than we are now and I have to ask for it instead of us just flat out being in the mood to have each other. Another year goes by and its getting worse and worse and i find myself always being in the mood and him never in the mood. I ask and i get rejected CONSTANTLY. I masturbate since im not getting pleased and its not enough for me. I find out that he also has been masturbating and of course this kills my confidence, i wonder why he doesn’t want to have sex with me and instead wants to masturbate (this isnt a one time thing, it happens multiple times where he rejects me but shortly after masturbates).

Right now we are in a place where we get into arguments over it and every single time i ask for it, he has excuses like he’s tired, he’s not in the mood, he has a lot on his mind, or i do something very little to make him mad and now he doesn’t want to touch me. I’m at a point where i am EXTREMELY sexually frustrated and unsatisfied and idk what to do. Ive talked to him so many times about this and he says what do you want me to do? My body doesnt want it so what can i do. Its getting so bad im considering cheating on him and i am not that type of person. Any advice?
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Re: Am I wrong for wanting sex more than my partner?

Unread postby Jryski » 13 May 2019, 16:15

Ever tried just jacking off together? He could be just really tired I guess. It sounds like it's also possible that he's getting bored but it's hard to say. If I were in your situation, I would sit him down and have a proper talk about this. Tell him how I've been feeling because of his actions or lack of actions and then ask him how he feels about it. Then maybe work together to find some solutions?
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Re: Am I wrong for wanting sex more than my partner?

Unread postby Eryx » 13 May 2019, 18:45

If nothing else works, maybe you could talk about trying new things sexually, like having someone over or try out some new toys. If his sex drive simply isn't like it was before, however, then increasing the frequency of sex can be a little bit of a challenge. I'm personally not too crazy about sex, so I'm pretty chill when it takes a while until my next sexual encounter, but I compromise if that's something my SO is missing.
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Re: Am I wrong for wanting sex more than my partner?

Unread postby xeil » 19 May 2019, 11:51

Eryx wrote:If nothing else works, maybe you could talk about trying new things sexually, like having someone over or try out some new toys. If his sex drive simply isn't like it was before, however, then increasing the frequency of sex can be a little bit of a challenge. I'm personally not too crazy about sex, so I'm pretty chill when it takes a while until my next sexual encounter, but I compromise if that's something my SO is missing.

This and I think you should talk to your partner. You are not wrong for wanting more sex, but keep in mind that he is not wrong either if he doesn't want it. So the best way to handle it is to communicate and find some common ground.
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