Best Friends and her Boyfriend

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Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby erti » 9 June 2019, 00:39

So, yesterday I went over to my friends place who she's living there with her new boyfriend. We caught up with each other. She tells me a secret which has me concern. I try to avoid being totally judgmental. She told me her boyfriend does meth from time to time. Granted, that's his and her business but my friend has a young son and her boyfriend also has a young son too. She tried to reassure me that he's not "addicted" to it. Then I was like, "if he isn't addicted to it than why is he still doing it?". It's not exactly something you can get off all on your own. She said he does it in the bathroom when the boys aren't there. I told her I wouldn't tell anyone (at least not her family or her ex who is her sons father). I'm worried people will find out about it and her ex will find out and take her son away. I know she'd be heart broken if that happened and also got to worry about his son who's ex will probably try to take custody of his son... who she's neglected him and hasn't seen her since January. It would make sense for him to go to a rehab or an addiction counselor to get this sorted out but wont do it in fear their kids would be taken away. It's a very sticky situation... Is there anything I can do? I'd like to suggest something that'll get him the help he needs to get over the meth addiction if he's truly serious about quitting. There's no evidence that the children are being neglected or abused so I don't think it'll be right to call child protective services.
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby Eryx » 9 June 2019, 14:41

This is really concerning, because if she takes it so casually it means she's a perfect candidate to pick it up with him. There's no reason to smoke meth, life is fine without it. I think you should advise them to try something else to get off it, like smoke a lot of weed or take a shot of whisky every time the pangs appear. It's a super dangerous addiction. I think I'd rather a cocaine addict SO than meth!! Lol. All that said, meth kind of doesn't exist here so I don't know really how bad it is. I imagine it's something like crack.
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby erti » 9 June 2019, 19:36

Her: Who did you tell Jess

Me: I didn't tell anyone in real life.

Her: Just wondering

Me: No, I wont tell but if something happens I will feel really guilty.

Her: He is really trying to get off it and I am helping him. He wants it out of his life.

Me: He needs intervention because people just don't get off it by themselves.

Her: I know and I am working on it and getting him the help he needs.

Me: get him an addiction counselor or something. You can't take this on on your own with just you.

Her: I have been looking getting him into rehabilitation

Me: you didn't tell me that.

Her: I know. That's the next step for him. We are going to start that soon. I am just waiting to hear back from one. I am supposed to hear something by Monday

Me: OK good to know. at least you're doing something.

Her: He wants to get the help too. He knows it has to go. And we are working on getting it gone.

Me: ok because you didn't tell me this.

Her: I should have. But just know we are working on getting it gone. I will keep you updated on his recovery

Me: That would be awesome because I worry about you and hunter.

Her: I know you do

Me: and I don't want this be the reason hunter is getting taken away from you. I know you'd be heart broken over that. and if he doesn't do what he's suppose to get out right away because you and hunter don't need that. and if he doesn't do what he's suppose to get out right away because you and hunter don't need that. I trust you do that.

Her: I know jess

Me: I love you

Her: I love you too Jess.
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby Capt._Trips » 9 June 2019, 23:31

Tbh i wouldn't get to involved unless you notice signs of neglect.

I've always found that people who go to rehab without really wanting to quit just come out with more connections and a sneakier lifestyle. Same with jail. Lots of very low level "criminals" just meet more high level CRIMINALS.

I would just offer a listening ear and any support to your friend and the kid. But this is a problem only him and her can fix.

It's always tough to watch friends get in over their heads and not much you can do.

I wish the best for all of them.
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby erti » 9 June 2019, 23:47

I've been getting conflicting answers to this but I do feel better talking to my friend about it (the conversation I posted above you)... because people are telling me to report it (even by someone who has been addicted to meth himself). Of course after she told me they do plan on getting him help and she'll update me on it makes me feel much better and it would feel wrong to report it when they're trying to get the help.
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby Iamjava » 10 June 2019, 01:56

there are parents addicted to drugs that dcf cant take hold of. i agree with victor.
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby Eryx » 10 June 2019, 17:25

I don't think reporting them will do any good because people don't usually get detained for simply being users. As Victor said, if he goes to jail over this he might bring more unwanted attention and connections that will only make things worse. He needs to surround himself with counselors, doctors and people who have made it through this, not criminals or the criminal system. I think you're doing more than you even needed to, you're being a fantastic friend, but don't feel guilty if things go south. Just be there, especially for her, and try to do everything you can to make sure she doesn't go down the same path he did.
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby erti » 10 June 2019, 18:46

Eryx wrote:I don't think reporting them will do any good because people don't usually get detained for simply being users. As Victor said, if he goes to jail over this he might bring more unwanted attention and connections that will only make things worse. He needs to surround himself with counselors, doctors and people who have made it through this, not criminals or the criminal system. I think you're doing more than you even needed to, you're being a fantastic friend, but don't feel guilty if things go south. Just be there, especially for her, and try to do everything you can to make sure she doesn't go down the same path he did.


Thanks Eryx... I feel a bit better. I'm no stranger to drugs because I was around it when I was a kid with my uncles doing it and stuff. They were mean and abusive and scary when they're high.
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby Eryx » 10 June 2019, 20:59

I think I kind of "lucked out" because my only addiction is alcohol. It's easy to handle. But it's still difficult at times. I can't imagine what it must be like with hard drugs. Stay strong and stay by her side. This can still be fixed!!
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby erti » 10 June 2019, 21:12

I read somewhere Alcohol can be as bad if not worse than hard drugs...like crack and heroin. well health wise. Alcohol is pretty serious too.
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby Eryx » 10 June 2019, 22:56

It is!! But I feel there are more alternatives and help available since it's so accepted. With hard drugs, you're kind of left on your own. That's the issue :(
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby Jryski » 14 June 2019, 03:24

I smoked meth for like 3 years. Its a pretty hard substance to control by yourself. I lost control of it towards the end of the 3 year period and that was only because of the extremely high stress situations I was going through. You can smoke it once every year or two without being addicted but if you do it once a week or so, you'll definitely be an addict. The government info they show you about meth are sometimes lies and mostly scare tactics. I still looked good and was able to keep a job during that 3 year period. Nobody suspected a thing. Having said so, I dont think there's anything you can or should do about this situation unless they ask you for advice or help. If you see them seriously fucking up their lives then you can step in but if they're doing totally fine, it's not really your place to step in. You could end up pushing them towards the problem even more if things go wrong.
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby erti » 14 June 2019, 03:58

Jryski wrote:I smoked meth for like 3 years. Its a pretty hard substance to control by yourself. I lost control of it towards the end of the 3 year period and that was only because of the extremely high stress situations I was going through. You can smoke it once every year or two without being addicted but if you do it once a week or so, you'll definitely be an addict. The government info they show you about meth are sometimes lies and mostly scare tactics. I still looked good and was able to keep a job during that 3 year period. Nobody suspected a thing. Having said so, I dont think there's anything you can or should do about this situation unless they ask you for advice or help. If you see them seriously fucking up their lives then you can step in but if they're doing totally fine, it's not really your place to step in. You could end up pushing them towards the problem even more if things go wrong.


My main concern is the kids involved in the situation. Otherwise, if they want to fuck up their lives by doing meth it's not my place to do so.
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby Iamjava » 14 June 2019, 05:58

you can still help if they ask.

i am still so thankful jay, my fiance, was there when i was hooked on suboxen. (another form of methedone.) if not for him, id still be hooked and wouldve alienated more people than i already do with my personality.
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby erti » 14 June 2019, 06:10

Yeah, my mom used to sell suboxone and switched over to Methadone before my uncle who had the hook up passed away. Now she gets it where my uncle go it and sells it to a friend of hers for extra money.

I do want to help my friend, don't get me wrong. I'd help if she asked, but I don't want to enable him either.
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby Eryx » 14 June 2019, 13:10

I've heard methadone is amazing for recovering!!
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby Capt._Trips » 14 June 2019, 15:19

Just to clear some things up. Methadone and suboxone (buprenorphine) are not the same drug. And you would have a VERY bad day if you tried to mix the two. Both are used as a form of opiate replacement therapy.

But the main difference is buprenorphine is a partial antagonist. Which is why an addict needs to already be in withdrawal to take it. (or not addicted to other opiates).

Methadone is a full opiate agonist and can be taken whenever. With overdose being the only real concern.

Both can be great for recovery if used properly. But are only useful to people addicted to opiates. But don't help with addiction to any other drugs.

Having said that both are incredibly potent opiates and shouldn't be taken lightly.
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Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it's been."_____ the grateful dead.

Edna St. Vincent Millay — 'My candle burns at both ends;It will not last the night; But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—It gives a lovely light!'
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Re: Best Friends and her Boyfriend

Unread postby erti » 14 June 2019, 16:42

Both meds weren't sold at the same time. I know they're not the same. I know my dad and stepmom sell their pain pills too. Personally I'd never sell it myself or do any of it. But that's my parents decision not mine. Do I agree with it? No...
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