Bisexual Relationship and Grindr

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Bisexual Relationship and Grindr

Unread postby TexanPerfection » 13 July 2019, 07:19

All:


Hello! I am new to this site and come to this community with an issue I know is common amongst couples, but there is little information on how to deal... So I turn to you guys in hopes of at least gaining some insight to help the love of my life, my Joshua. *insert heavy, painful sigh*
In every aspect of our relationship in regard to family life - he is phenomenal. My daughter loves him and his family is beyond amazing. We laugh, we all play games, we have a good time all around.
Well, we did. In November, I discovered he has attempted to visit with his ex while back home in Houston. They did not meet bc she didn’t have time. I (in my opinion) am far better looking, more successful, and more fun.
In December (around my birthday) I discovered he was on Grindr. We had discussed 3somes, and apps for that. But we had never discussed Grindr as my impression was it was exclusive to the gay community.
I found videos of himself sent to others certainly indicating that he wanted to get some. I found videos of others. I did not want to “knee jerk” this as his ex was not accepting at all of his bisexuality. I wanted him to know it was okay but this had violated our trust as it was outside of our arrangement. He concurred and stated he would discontinue using it.
I have an app for all of our phones and tablets that allows me to monitor apps my daughter is using... I didn’t know his linked to it automatically or that it had downloaded on his phone...either way it would send me an email every time he downloaded the app.
Our sex life went to nothing. He was first all about giving head...now it’s been months and it’s not something “he enjoys”. He will be on Grindr several times a day but not tru to touch me. He waits to do it until I leave or am asleep.
I have called him out so many times on this; he always promises to stop then says it is a compulsion and he cannot.


Here is my question:

1. Do any of you feel he is in the closet and just doesn’t want to come out? I have told him that even if he is gay or is going through a man only phase - I still love him? He is always part of our family and that nothing had to change.

2. Do any of you think I am being too understanding of the compulsion? I took him to the doctor to get help last week.


3. Have any of you been through this? What can I do to alleviate this fear of catching him in the act?



He is starting to yell more lately, even name call. I am to the point where my PTSD is getting triggered by him even though he is not violent towards me or my daughter.



Any advise is greatly appreciated. Yes, I also run a porn company...so I’m not lacking in the skills or looks department.



Texan Perfection

Best Regards,


Texan Perfection
Xoxoxoxo
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Re: Bisexual Relationship and Grindr

Unread postby Stephen68 » 13 July 2019, 19:35

is anyone else struggling with this one you say you have an app monitor on all of our phones and tablets yet you did not know his phone was connected you took him to the doctors for his compulsion to a website are all the people who view your website in need of help then i bet when you see a woman you like the look of you think i wish i could get her in bed not i wish we could get her into bed its very strange this one
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Re: Bisexual Relationship and Grindr

Unread postby Jryski » 14 July 2019, 02:38

^huh?
In regards to your question, only he knows what's up and if he's not willing to communicate about it and talk to you about what hes going through without being caught doing something he's not supposed to be doing first, then he's doing that on purpose and trying to get away with it.

I don't think you're being too understanding. You're being reasonable towards him and he's taking advantage.

Yelling and name calling is a major NOPE! Verbal abuse is never okay.

I've got a question for you. Do you provide for him or support him through monetary means or purchase things for him like food, clothes, bills etc ?
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Re: Bisexual Relationship and Grindr

Unread postby Eryx » 15 July 2019, 12:58

I think he knows he's doing something wrong and it's causing him to react badly on conversations. He probably feels guilty but won't stop. I don't think he's gay just because he's talking to other guys, after all bisexual people are bisexual all the time. It's just one of the places you can find sex, I don't think his label is really relevant here.

I don't know if I'd keep accepting it after catching him more than a couple of times. It's extremely difficult to regain trust in someone who does this repeatedly. I do think you are being too forgiving.
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Re: Bisexual Relationship and Grindr

Unread postby TexanPerfection » 15 July 2019, 21:28

Stephen68 wrote:is anyone else struggling with this one you say you have an app monitor on all of our phones and tablets yet you did not know his phone was connected you took him to the doctors for his compulsion to a website are all the people who view your website in need of help then i bet when you see a woman you like the look of you think i wish i could get her in bed not i wish we could get her into bed its very strange this one



I linked our accounts to give him access to the xbox and icloud, etc where all the apps are loaded....It defaults to a setting that uploads all purchases to all apps. I didn't know, but thank you for the assumption of malicious intent. The time I checked his phone - I did tell him and apologized for that invasion of privacy which is justified under no terms, but many of us are guilty of such little shows of disrespect.
Yes I took him to a doctor. where do I go is my question? If you cannot provide a helpful response - then don't leave one at all. I am already coming to this forum in a venerable, humble manner, and I refuse your attempt to dampen the view of my character. Thank you!

Best Regards,


Texan Perfection
Xoxoxoxo
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Re: Bisexual Relationship and Grindr

Unread postby Stephen68 » 15 July 2019, 23:50

Please accept my apologies I didn't mean to upset you
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