Can’t have relationship or sex for 2nd time

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Can’t have relationship or sex for 2nd time

Unread postby Delishes » 14 March 2019, 01:51

As shown in the tittle,i can’t enjoy having sex with the same person more then once or twice,it doesn’t matter how they look like,even if they look like nico tortorella it doesn’t work,and when a guy reaches out to me ,i become scared of relationship or think that the other guy is only after sex and talks nonsense to get into bedroom.I don’t listen or care about anyone as a potential partner (even if we met out of bar,app,etc i simply can’t think elsewise,because when someone tries to know me ,i just push them away,i think it is related to my corrupted perfectionist-paranoid personality,i question why he starts to chat,i don’t know him etc in my mind,and push him away)When the reality doesn’t match the thoughts,problem starts.i do want to have a relationship too but i dont give any chances from the start which is not done intentionally.I am way too scared of getting hurt or used by someone too dunno what to do.

Most people around me have relationships even tho they don’t love (they like each other)their partners.I can’t do that,i feel like if i don’t love the other person, why do i bother to plan or think for 2 people,make everything complex,it would make me feel like i am living a lie,but i want a relationship at the same time...

Soo i have mixed feelings and time passes ...

Sorry about my poor english
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Re: Can’t have relationship or sex for 2nd time

Unread postby DeclanMA » 14 March 2019, 10:23

You're an accidental queer, not a real one.

Find a woman and make babies.
+1 everything i write
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Re: Can’t have relationship or sex for 2nd time

Unread postby Delishes » 14 March 2019, 11:34

DeclanMA wrote:You're an accidental queer, not a real one.

Find a woman and make babies.


Thanks for the response however i do not consider myself as an accidental queer because i never liked woman nor dated even in my childhood.(don't understand actually if you were serious or not).Maybe it might be because of side effects of some pills that i take.i take finasteride for my hair loss.
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Re: Can’t have relationship or sex for 2nd time

Unread postby Brenden » 14 March 2019, 11:42

He's not being serious because he's a troll.

It sounds like a mental health problem, since it's causing you distress. You should seek out a therapist or psychologist to figure it all out.
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Re: Can’t have relationship or sex for 2nd time

Unread postby Eryx » 14 March 2019, 12:41

Delishes, your English is great, so don't worry about that! Secondly, welcome to GFO and don't mind DeclanMA, most of his posts don't even make a lot of sense. We're waiting for him to find something better to do.

I agree with Brenden that therapy could help. It also seems that you just haven't found anyone that really sparked your interest yet. Some people take ages to meet someone they're really attracted to beyond sex. For comparison, I lived in a college town for 2.5 years and never really hooked up with anyone more than twice, just like you. Nearly a year after I left that city, I met someone from work who became my boyfriend. It wasn't someone I was particularly considering, it just sort of happened, and slowly I found myself loving him.

So, while I do agree that seeking professional help can be really good for you in general, it might also just be that you need time to meet someone who really interests you. It's completely different from physical affection! For the time being, just avoid doing things that you know will hurt you afterward. Think twice before sending a message, and try to picture the situation from a third-person point of view.
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