Coming out/relationship labels question

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Coming out/relationship labels question

Unread postby ajakes124 » 22 February 2019, 06:38

I’ve always struggled with my identity of who I am and what I like. I don’t identify myself as bi, I just feel I can fall in love with anyone, in love with the idea of loving “love”.
The end of 2017, my brother coming out put a lot of pressure on my identity. My dad took it well and mum took time getting used to it. It made me think a lot about what I wanted in life too.. who do I love? I basically took a break from everyone to work out my confusion on my own. Aftee some time I started dating both men and women, wasn’t feeling anything for anyone until the beginning of this year I met a guy and it’s just been super easy.
We are dating but not officially together. I see the next step for us is labels for what our relationship is and me coming out to my family. Some of my friends know and I don’t want to come out to others before I come out to my family. I always told myself the time I’d be ready to do it, even though my parents are so ok with it is when I’m serious with someone..

My question is: at what point of a relationship do you introduce the guy you’re seeing to your family? When you are “together” together? Or earlier at my stage when we are just dating?
I know it’s something I have to talk to him about. I just don’t want to offload this personal pressure onto him. I don’t want him to think I’m only doing it for him, I am doing it for myself. And to show I’m ready for the next step for us but willing to wait for him to be ready too.

I also am tired of being so secretive. I don’t wanna lie about where I am and who I am with

My second question is at what point do you talk about labeling your relationship? We’ve been going out for over a month now and honestly it feels like longer cause we’ve spent so much time together. I’ve met his friends a few times and he’s met mine and that’s obviously some sign of a seriousness to what we are doing. I know everyone takes this step at their own pace but I wanna have a rough idea of when others have done it?

Thanks for the advice!
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Re: Coming out/relationship labels question

Unread postby Brasileiro » 22 February 2019, 15:06

Why do you not ask him how he sees it?
And in my opinion, if you date you are boyfriends (or lovers), even if it does not last.
Why complicate things?
"I want to introduce you to the person I date" should do it with friends and family. They need to get to know the person, not the label.
And you will feel when the time is ripe to talk about him or her as your parter/significant other or whatever.

In my case his parents were there when we met, in fact they asked me to sit with them, for their son, so that was easy, but there is no right or wrong. Go with your feelings and talk about it with your lover.
Last edited by Brasileiro on 22 February 2019, 19:51, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Coming out/relationship labels question

Unread postby Eryx » 22 February 2019, 15:56

I only introduced my boyfriend to my family when I knew it was going to be something, otherwise the family just gets confused if at every month you walk in with someone different hahah.
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