Could this be my first gay experience? I need advice

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Could this be my first gay experience? I need advice

Unread postby Ztellar » 8 February 2020, 07:23

Hello everybody!

I am new in the forum and this is my first post. I need advice in this situation that I am facing right now. I have no choice but to tell this story in this forum because I literally have no gay friends. I am going to try to keep this as short as possible and get straight to the point. I do tend to overwrite, so just bare with me if you feel like I am not getting the point. Eventually I will!

There is this guy in two of my classes this semester that I find really handsome. In our first class the professor asked every student to do quick introductions. When he said his name, I tried to memorize it, so that I could find him on social media later. I found him on Instagram and going through his comments I saw some guys commenting on his pictures and one comment from a guy that says “I am so gay.” I had the feeling that he was gay when I first saw him. But to be clear I am not 100% sure.

Last Thursday, I was waiting in front of the classroom because there was another class inside. Some of my classmates started to show up and he arrived as well. He did not stand directly next to me, but he was close to me. He was talking to this guy who signed up for our class late. From what I overheard they know each other because they had a class together in the past. All of the sudden I hear whispering. He was trying to tell me something.

He tried to tell me twice, but I legit did not hear what he was trying to say. I just said “what, what?” Finally, I heard him the third time and he was asking me the start time of the class and I told him. I immediately wondered why he was asking that. He could have asked the guy he was talking to + he attended the class last week, so he knows the start time. A few minutes later we got into the classroom and he did not seat next to me (last week he did.)

I started to feel some type of way about it and I concluded that he thought I was being mean when he tried to ask me the start time of the class. I decided to be brave and I created a plan. I was waiting for the 10-minute break our professor gives us, but he stepped out of the classroom before the break. I waited like 2/3 minutes and I went outside as well. I pretended like I was going to the bathroom and I saw him on the lobby of the building seating by himself using his phone. I saw him, he saw me and I went to the bathroom.

After going to the bathroom, I started walking towards him and when he saw me he smiled and said: “That class is so boring.” I did not even respond to that I went straight to tell him what I was planning to tell him. I told him that I was not trying to be mean when he asked me about the time earlier. He said: “Oh no, I did not think you were mean. I know you are nice” I told him that I was really focus reading the reviews of the Harley Quinn movie. We had a brief conversation. He told me that he was going to try to see the movie over the weekend and he told me that I should see it, so that I could tell him my opinion. He was smiling the whole conversation and I sensed that he was a bit shy. I was nervous as well. I went back to the classroom and he did the same a few minutes after me.

We did not talk after that. When the class was over, he said bye and told me that he will see me next week. As you can see by the title, I do not have any experience in relationships, flirting, etc. If you guys can tell me what you think about this situation, I would appreciate it. Also, what should I do next in the case you think I should do something. I tried to make this story as short as possible, but if you need more details let me know in the comments.

Thank you!
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Re: Could this be my first gay experience? I need advice

Unread postby Eos » 8 February 2020, 08:47

Hi !
In my opinion, you don't have enough information in order to know if he is gay, or at least if he is OK with gay people.
So you should going this way, try to ask about his opinion on any LGBT subject (of course only when it is relevant).

If you know it won't be an issue then just ask him if is gay.

Then I think you can picture how it can go.
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Re: Could this be my first gay experience? I need advice

Unread postby Jzone » 8 February 2020, 17:41

Welcome to the forum, Ztellar. I think you are getting way ahead of yourself here with little to go on. Of course, we haven't seen this guy and your gaydar may be accurate. The good thing is that it seems like he is at least looking for friends by the way he spoke with you. Be sure to watch Harley Quinn this weekend so you have something to talk about the next time you see him. You could suggest you get lunch together to talk about it. Just make it a casual suggestion and find another time if lunch doesn't work for some reason. The more time you spend together the more clues you will get about his orientation and interest.
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Re: Could this be my first gay experience? I need advice

Unread postby John27 » 8 February 2020, 23:52

I like Jzone's idea of seeing the movie, and suggesting meeting to talk about it. And see where that meeting might go.

I'm not sure about asking him if he's gay as suggested by Eos, even if there has been some discussion about LGBT issues first. I have to admit part of this is that I'd never personally go down that road--it seems to be a little pushy. But he might be gay and not honestly answer yes for any number of reasons.
Last edited by John27 on 9 February 2020, 05:55, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Could this be my first gay experience? I need advice

Unread postby John27 » 9 February 2020, 00:02

Another thing possibly worth considering: wearing something LGBT themed to class. It doesn't have to be ostentatious, like a T-shirt with a big sign saying "I'm GAY!!!" in bright letters. A simple rainbow bracelet or pin would be enough. If he's gay or bi, he should recognize that (say) a rainbow bracelet means that you are LGBT friendly at the very least. That might start a conversation that might naturally lead to him coming out, and you getting a date with him.

And even if he's straight, who knows? A bracelet or something might open the way to meet some nice gay guy you might not have met otherwise.

Note: this idea assumes assumes that your college is reasonably LGBT friendly, and thus safe to wear something LGBT themed. If it's not safe, then don't do this.
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Re: Could this be my first gay experience? I need advice

Unread postby Ztellar » 9 February 2020, 05:33

Jzone wrote:Welcome to the forum, Ztellar. I think you are getting way ahead of yourself here with little to go on. Of course, we haven't seen this guy and your gaydar may be accurate. The good thing is that it seems like he is at least looking for friends by the way he spoke with you. Be sure to watch Harley Quinn this weekend so you have something to talk about the next time you see him. You could suggest you get lunch together to talk about it. Just make it a casual suggestion and find another time if lunch doesn't work for some reason. The more time you spend together the more clues you will get about his orientation and interest.


Thanks for replying. I actually did not get the chance to watch the movie this weekend. I hate going to the movies by myself and nobody I know wants to pay to see it with me hahaha. I am not sure if it will sound too pushy to tell him that I did not watch the movie because I did not want to go by myself.
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Re: Could this be my first gay experience? I need advice

Unread postby John27 » 9 February 2020, 06:06

Ztellar wrote:I actually did not get the chance to watch the movie this weekend. I hate going to the movies by myself and nobody I know wants to pay to see it with me hahaha.


I hate the idea of going to movies by myself, too, but this time might have been a time worth doing that.

I am not sure if it will sound too pushy to tell him that I did not watch the movie because I did not want to go by myself.


I think some other excuse might sound better. "Things came up, and I didn't get a chance" or something like that.

If he went, then at least you can have some conversation about it.
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Re: Could this be my first gay experience? I need advice

Unread postby Jzone » 9 February 2020, 09:29

Ztellar wrote:Thanks for replying. I actually did not get the chance to watch the movie this weekend. I hate going to the movies by myself and nobody I know wants to pay to see it with me hahaha. I am not sure if it will sound too pushy to tell him that I did not watch the movie because I did not want to go by myself.

If you're not willing to put out minimal effort there's not much more I can say. I guess you can ask him if he liked it and recommends seeing it.
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Re: Could this be my first gay experience? I need advice

Unread postby Eryx » 10 February 2020, 14:30

This is so cute. Just ask him on a date, he'll tell you if he's straight haha
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