Crush - Gay or wishful thinking

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Crush - Gay or wishful thinking

Unread postby Gerg5 » 27 June 2020, 04:45

I feel dumb thing about this but I haven’t had crushes in awhile. I started a new job recently and haven’t really came out to my coworkers (I’m out to friends and family and those who ask). Anyway, I started to goof with a coworker (Frank) and it was cool to build a bond with a colleague. I thought he was attractive at when we first met but brushed it of bc I thought he’s straight.

Frank recently moved to different department and no longer see him. Before he left, I started to notice things that made me think he was gay (closeted):
1. him knowing what a power bottom is lol,
2. during lunches with other coworkers, Frank always points out how attractive a girl is when the other guys who’ve had/have gf never bring it up.
3. Another coworker told me that before Frank left our department, Frank asked “do you think we like girls bc we have to?”


Frank has been gone for two weeks now. I wasn’t sad that he was leaving but now he’s gone I’ve started to miss him. It wasn’t till a few days ago that he dm me on our work chat and I was so excited to still be able to keep communication. We just send Funny videos and gifs as if we still sat next to each other. We haven’t known each other long...probably 2 months but why am I crushing on him?

I’ve never had a boyfriend...I don’t know if this is all wishful thinking.
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Re: Crush - Gay or wishful thinking

Unread postby Eryx » 27 June 2020, 10:11

Doesn't seem to be gay imo
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Re: Crush - Gay or wishful thinking

Unread postby ThatNomad » 27 June 2020, 11:44

I have to agree with Eryx. He doesn't seem outright gay to me either. Perhaps he's just a fun-loving person who likes to chat with you and have fun with the funny stuff y'all share. And I've met plenty of straight guys who were friends with gay men and knew the slang used by the community. They were, of course, those who were comfortable enough in their own skin to not be bothered by discussions of gay sex, but they were definitely not gay themselves. With that said, it's not beyond the realm of possibility. I'd say just be respectful of him as a person, and continue to get to know him. If he's gay, and interested in you, eventually you'll know.
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Re: Crush - Gay or wishful thinking

Unread postby Gerg5 » 27 June 2020, 16:38

ThatNomad wrote:I'd say just be respectful of him as a person, and continue to get to know him. If he's gay, and interested in you, eventually you'll know.


You’re right. I’m gonna appreciate the friendship that we created and not over think it. Before I got all up in my head, things were chill and fun and I wasn’t so anxious about starting a new job. It’s nice having common interests with colleagues plus not seeing him everyday will help me get over this little crush. He has brought up having a gay friend so it’s nice to know he’s gay friendly
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Re: Crush - Gay or wishful thinking

Unread postby ThatNomad » 27 June 2020, 16:40

There you go! He sounds like he's at least an awesome ally. Just go with that for now, and enjoy your new job!
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Re: Crush - Gay or wishful thinking

Unread postby Eryx » 27 June 2020, 18:39

Yeah, sounds like a fantastic friendship! If there's anything to arise, anyway, time will make it happen when it needs to happen. If not, then there's an opportunity to have a life-long friend to go through things with you in life, why not? As a side-note, perhaps this means you're ready to meet someone for something more serious, and in that case, try looking in places where it can happen more easily.
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