Crush on bartender

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Re: Crush on bartender

Unread postby mxguy01 » 7 March 2019, 17:05

acpro wrote:...suggest getting on Tinder, bumble, or even Grindr and try to meet some new people! ...


But he shouldn't give up on his bar approach as he talked to and asked a guy out. Just that he move onto someone else after getting turned down is the key there.

As it was said, "plenty of fish in the sea". Just move on to looking beyond this one guy. You made some great progress: You came out. You asked a guy out for a date. Time for the next step... That next step might be tomorrow or two weeks from now. No hurry either.
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Re: Crush on bartender

Unread postby BlueBoy19 » 8 March 2019, 02:12

Eryx wrote:I tend to agree with Alex, he isn't really as special as your head makes you think he is. But I'm not saying that to invalidate how important he was to you when it comes to facing your true feelings and identity. It won't hurt to try. But I'm concerned you'll take it too badly if he doesn't reciprocate. Just be aware that there are other fish and that it's highly likely you'll feel the same way about someone else in the future, or even more infatuated than you are right now.

Let us know how things go.


Thank you, Eryx. I'll definitely let you all know how things go.
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Re: Crush on bartender

Unread postby BlueBoy19 » 8 March 2019, 02:14

mxguy01 wrote:
acpro wrote:...suggest getting on Tinder, bumble, or even Grindr and try to meet some new people! ...


But he shouldn't give up on his bar approach as he talked to and asked a guy out. Just that he move onto someone else after getting turned down is the key there.

As it was said, "plenty of fish in the sea". Just move on to looking beyond this one guy. You made some great progress: You came out. You asked a guy out for a date. Time for the next step... That next step might be tomorrow or two weeks from now. No hurry either.


Thank you, mxguy01. I do feel good for making progress. And yes, it's good to remember that there's no hurry.
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Re: Crush on bartender

Unread postby BlueBoy19 » 8 March 2019, 18:28

I am so kicking myself. Oh why didn't I stay more chill? I'm wishing now that I hadn't made any "moves" to try to ask him out.

I am thinking that I should have just remained "friendly". Try to become "friends" with this guy. And then enjoy being "just friends". And IF it should develop to something more, than that's just a bonus.

I feel like I screwed it up and now I've scared him off. Or if I stay cool, maybe we could be friends? I don't know.

Thanks for letting me vent!
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Re: Crush on bartender

Unread postby Brasileiro » 9 March 2019, 11:48

There is no screwing up. You can lean from every situation. There is no handbook, there are no exames.
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Re: Crush on bartender

Unread postby BlueBoy19 » 13 March 2019, 00:11

Brasileiro wrote:There is no screwing up. You can lean from every situation. There is no handbook, there are no exames.


Thank you, Brasileiro.
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Re: Crush on bartender

Unread postby BlueBoy19 » 14 March 2019, 22:20

Update: The worst is over. I am no longer obsessed and prone to random crying fits and terrible aches of the heart and body.

This happened once before. A "recess" of sorts. It happened the first time after not seeing my crush for about three weeks. It's been about two weeks now since my last sighting.

I guess I am glad for the break. But I also kind of miss that more dynamic feeling of really being alive -- with all its incredible highs and lows. No, I don't miss it. It was too hard to endure.

Anyway, I have pulled over to the side of the road. Not sure if I'm going to get back on that highway or not!

Thank you to everyone for helping me navigate this uncharted course.
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Re: Crush on bartender

Unread postby BlueBoy19 » 14 March 2019, 23:50

Oh, wait. Feelings are coming back....damn it! :cry:
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Re: Crush on bartender

Unread postby BlueBoy19 » 25 March 2019, 22:40

It's been over three weeks now since I last laid eyes on my crush. I've already tried asking him out but that went nowhere. But I still just can't get over this intense emotional draw I have towards him -- towards his personality, his heart. I realize he probably isn't interested in being my "boyfriend", but is it possible to be "just friends"? And if so, how do I express this without embarrassing him or myself?
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Re: Crush on bartender

Unread postby Victor_Laszlo » 25 March 2019, 23:01

Im just gonna put this out there and say. I think it'd be healthiest for you to just do your best to move on from this guy.

This thread has been going on for a long time now and you've had so many ups and downs and this guy isn't even aware of them. It cant be healthy to continue putting yourself through this.

I think you should put yourself out there more and to a larger amount of people. Before you know it this guy wont even cross your mind. Other's have mentioned how easy it is to get hooked on one guy when you come out. But you've tried with him and he hasn't recipocated at all.

Even if you did manage to just be friends I doubt it would be a healthy friendship. You'll always want more and it will probably hold you back from finding a different guy.

Hope this helped some. :hug:
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Re: Crush on bartender

Unread postby Eryx » 26 March 2019, 02:15

I agree completely with Victor. Sorry buddy.
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Re: Crush on bartender

Unread postby BlueBoy19 » 26 March 2019, 15:57

OK, thank you guys for your assessments. I know it is probably for the best for me to let this guy fade out. Thanks again -- all of you -- for your heartfelt feedback. I really appreciate it!
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