Did he just break up with me over text?

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Did he just break up with me over text?

Unread postby 80sbaby » 13 July 2020, 06:32

This is the text I got.

"Just having a hard time. I don't know if I'm able to be the boyfriend you want me to be right now. I'm sorry. I'm just going through a lot and it's hard trying to balance everything. I'm not doing a good job."

Since Thursday he hasn't really responded to my text. However on Friday, he did tell me that his best friend was in the icu again and that he's been feeling weird. I ask him what is making him feel weird and he said his brain has been weird and I ask how/why? And never responded back and that was the last I heard. Then today I asked him what has been going on and he responded with the above text.

Is this a break up text? Or what? This happened out of no where and idk what to do. Idk if he is talking to other guys/ cheating on me. I did see that he liked a guys photo and was following him and vice versa. I really don't know what to take from this. What should I do? Give him space? Text him in a week or a few days? What? I love him so much, I really don't want to lose him. Please help me.

Update: he told me this morning that "The best thing for me and probably us would be a break. I'm sorry." That's basically a break up, he's probably seeing someone else. Idk what to do. I'm literally shaking and crying as I'm writing this. Oh God.
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Re: Did he just break up with me over text?

Unread postby Valso » 14 July 2020, 16:14

Doesn't sound like a break up text to me. But to be sure give him some time and space alone. If he wants you, he'll call you. If not, well... there's plenty of fish in the ocean.
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Re: Did he just break up with me over text?

Unread postby 80sbaby » 15 July 2020, 13:47

@Valso there are no fish in the sea. Just a bunch of jerks. Its so hard to find a genuinely good person here. I was surprised when I met my BF, how great he was. He was the 1st guy I dated where I didn't even realize that I was being 100% myself, I didn't put up any walls like I normally do. I hope he comes back to me but I already know that it won't happen. I've seen all of this before.
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Re: Did he just break up with me over text?

Unread postby Eryx » 15 July 2020, 14:27

What a pessimistic outlook. There definitely are lots of good people out there. If there weren't, there wouldn't be so many people online complaining that there aren't any good guys ever. How can there be so many perfectly lovable and trustworthy people complaining about the lack of lovable and trustworthy people? It doesn't add up.
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Re: Did he just break up with me over text?

Unread postby 80sbaby » 15 July 2020, 14:37

@eryx because I've been in this game way too long. And met so many buttholes, people who used me, lead me on and ghosted me. It is very rare that I meet a decent person. If there were so many great people out there I wouldn't be on here and I would have been married with 2 kids by now. Some people were lucky and met their partner. I thought I did but I lost him in the end. I always end up losing them. There is obviously something wrong with me.
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Re: Did he just break up with me over text?

Unread postby Eryx » 15 July 2020, 17:14

You're 31, I wouldn't consider it "too long" in the game. There are guys finding love at 60. Are you going to give up now and just become a hermit because you've lucked out up until now?
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Re: Did he just break up with me over text?

Unread postby Valso » 15 July 2020, 20:11

80sbaby wrote:@Valso there are no fish in the sea. Just a bunch of jerks. Its so hard to find a genuinely good person here.

That's why a few years ago I started keeping everything about sex with both genders (I'm bi). This makes things easier - no feelings, no obligations, no broken hearts... Lately I haven't seen much action but nvm - I suppose you know what I'm telling you. Then suddenly you'll see how much fish there is in the sea - so much that you can never f.ck them all. :lol:
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Re: Did he just break up with me over text?

Unread postby 80sbaby » 16 July 2020, 06:09

@eryx yeah I'm giving up. You honestly have no idea how hard it has been for me. How hard I try and how things never work out for me. Then I met him and everything was amazing, I can't do this anymore. I can't go back to that awful dating game. All I care about is him. And I thought this was it. And 31 is old in the gay world. No one wants me. I can't do this. I'm too scared to see my life without him. I'm too scared to go back into the dating world that has failed me time and time again. Its easy for you to say, until you have been in my shoes. Its has never been easy for me.
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Re: Did he just break up with me over text?

Unread postby 80sbaby » 16 July 2020, 06:13

@valso I don't want to just sleep around. 8ve been there done that. What I want is to finally settle down and have a family, get married. But now I know that won't happen. It hurts so much knowing I can't be with him. I don't know what to do anymore. Dating world isn't what it used to be and men are so nasty and mean. Its hard to find someone im attracted to and that actually treats me right and actually has real feelings for me. I'm tired of dating and going back out there. My heart has been broken too many times. I dont know how much I can take anymore.
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Re: Did he just break up with me over text?

Unread postby Frigid » 16 July 2020, 16:53

Drama queen
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Re: Did he just break up with me over text?

Unread postby Eos » 16 July 2020, 18:49

You sound like you still live by your last relationship. Before considering giving up, you should first feel ok about your past relationship and understand why it went bad. There's no other way to improve yourself. Finding love isn't meant to be easy. I've never been with anyone. I got experiences here and there and I know those will help me in the end.
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Re: Did he just break up with me over text?

Unread postby biguy87 » 17 July 2020, 09:42

It's natural to feel that way when a LTR ends. Many people have to go through a period of mourning, similarly to when someone dies. It's a credit to the relationship that you had that you are this broken up about it, and in many ways it's healthy that at the moment you feel like 'this is it, I'm not bothering again', rather than wanting to go out and rebound.

Time is genuinely a healer. Just focus on the other aspects of your life for a while, work, family, friends, or take some time for you. Eventually you'll feel ready to put yourself out there again, or you'll realise you're already doing it.

On a separate note, you've come onto here asking for opinions and advice. Two kind people have offered you their take on what you've asked for and your responses to them come across as rude and ungrateful. Perhaps you should either be prepared to hear things you don't like, or don't bother asking.
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Re: Did he just break up with me over text?

Unread postby Valso » 17 July 2020, 18:09

80sbaby wrote:But now I know that won't happen.

Welcome to the club. I reconciled to that fact years ago and now I don't care anymore. You'll stop caring too eventually, don't worry.
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