Do I have depression? Anxiety, or just highly insecure?

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Do I have depression? Anxiety, or just highly insecure?

Unread postby dynamicdoggo » 22 May 2020, 22:59

So, everyday, in my head. I get the same thought: "I don't really fit in with my friends", "I don't have a set group", "I'm just that background guy". I have friends which I speak to everyday (up until now, I logged out). But I know they have their own groups with each other and I don't know which friendship group within a friendship group I fit in with, because I feel like I don't.

For example, whenever I get invited out to events or parties, everyone comes in their groups but I come on my own basically. I mean, yeah sure, I got invited but I just feel a little out of touch with everyone else and then I can feel my body heat up and I get really uncomfortable sometimes when I talk.

I can't actually remember the last time I didn't feel like this to be honest. Some days it is manageable and I'm 'happy', in the sense I can brush it over and be like "Yeah, my life is shit, but oh well". But then there is days where I will lie in bed for hours just thinking about the same thing over and over. That's when it really hurts, and when I get this weird feeling in my chest (like I'm drowning or sinking?). I have had this for so long and I don't know whether this is just my hormones still playing up or whatever.

I'm not sure why I'm complaining to be honest. I know other people have it worse but I find it so ironically lonely and depressing :/
North West Yorkshire x
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Re: Do I have depression? Anxiety, or just highly insecure?

Unread postby erti » 23 May 2020, 00:41

Withdraw from people and doing certain stuff you once like sounds like depression and anxiety. As far as who has it worst... there’s always someone who has is worse. Sure there’s things like first world problems but when it comes to depression it doesn’t discriminate. If you think you’re depressed I’d talk to a doctor and maybe find therapy or meds or either or.
“Don't take my devils away, because my angels may flee too.”

― Rainer Maria Rilke
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Re: Do I have depression? Anxiety, or just highly insecure?

Unread postby dynamicdoggo » 23 May 2020, 13:17

erti wrote:If you think you’re depressed I’d talk to a doctor and maybe find therapy or meds or either or.


I did see a counsellor at one point, but I just couldn't convey it properly? Like, I kind of wanted to get everything out and it was just a mess and a jumble of all my problems. I don't think she quite understood. I would like to go back but with the whole COVID-19 situation, I would rather see someone in person as opposed to a Skype call.

I feel fine now, today actually. But, the thought is still in the back of my head but I'm contempt in a way. Until, something else is added (triggers it) to the fire and I withdraw again.
North West Yorkshire x
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