Feelings for My Best Friend’s Ex

Ask questions and discuss your relationships with partners or parents, family or friends.

Feelings for My Best Friend’s Ex

Unread postby hemingway1 » 15 July 2019, 19:24

Hi! I’m looking for some advice on how to handle a situation I’m in.

Recently, my best friend’s ex and him have had an on and off again relationship for the past year. Before that they dated for about two years. My best friend seems to have moved on from his ex, but I’m not sure. He doesn’t really share a lot of his true feelings with me when it comes to their relationship.

On the other hand, his ex and me have become pretty close friends during this on and off again time. I’ve been there for him when he is upset about my best friend. He is heartbroken and I know he truly loves my best friend.

I feel guilty saying this, but I have feelings for my best friend’s ex. He doesn’t live in the same town so we talk on the phone a lot. We have a great connection and can talk for hours. Yes, part of our calls are me listening to his feelings for my best friends and wanting my advice on how to make it work, the other parts of them are deep conversations where we talking about life, work, friends, etc. I think to myself if he wasn’t still in love with my best friend that we would be great together. I will also share, I told my best friend what happened and he said he was good with it, that we have kissed when we were both drunk. His ex started the kiss. We have kissed a couple of other times too. I can’t ever get those times out of my head and I find myself wanting to kiss him every time I see him.

Part of me wants to tell my best friend’s ex how I feel because my best friend seems to have moved on. The other part of me just wants to keep it to myself because I don’t want to ruin a great friendship and I don’t know if his ex would feel the same. I just don’t want to live my life without ever knowing if he could ever feel the same as me. I feel like I may love him. We do tell each other we love each other. I think for him it may just be as friends.

What are some thoughts on how to handle this?

I’ll also say my best friend and me are currently roommates so that complicates things too.
hemingway1
 
Posts: 5
Joined: 1 July 2018, 18:24
Country: United States (us)

Re: Feelings for My Best Friend’s Ex

Unread postby Ammon » 15 July 2019, 22:10

The fact that he is still not over your best friend, it wouldn’t be wise to tell him your feelings, and definitly not on the phone.

Kissing while being drunk doesn’t mean much, in your case it does, because you have feelings for him, but he probably was only looking for a rebound, and you really don’t want that. Everybody needs time to process a break up, if you try something during his processing he’ll most likely use you as a rebound and it will confuse your friendship with him. Also you will always keep wondering “does he still have feelings for my best friend” which would also suck to think that over and over again..

This is not a professional opinion, simply my personal opinion..
Ammon
 
Posts: 82
+1s received: 53
Joined: 14 July 2019, 15:57
Country: Belgium (be)

Re: Feelings for My Best Friend’s Ex

Unread postby Iamjava » 15 July 2019, 23:13

.
Iamjava
 
Posts: 793
+1s received: 129
Joined: 27 May 2019, 21:42


Recently active
Users browsing this forum: CommonCrawl [Bot], Marcus1995 and 18 guests