For The Bisexuals Out There

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For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 3 December 2021, 14:33

Anyone bisexual here can share his/her experience being with both guys and girls?
Like, what was more satisfying for him/her physically/emotionally etc?
If you had to choose either guys or girls, what would you choose?
Did your sexual orientation fluctuate over the years? how so?
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Brenden » 3 December 2021, 17:31

I don't have any sexual experience with girls, but emotionally guys are just so much easier and straightforward.

I also find guys to be a lot more attractive, probably because girls tend to use makeup and clothes and accessories to alter their appearance or others' perception, so when I see an "attractive" girl I'm always suspicious of it. When you see an attractive guy, then they're usually just unambiguously attractive. Younger women also tend more toward obesity these days, whereas most obesity among men is in the older cohort.

When I was in school I used to be much more inclined to have crushes on girls (and teachers), and only had a few crushes on guys. Whereas now I'm in a relationship with two guys, haha.
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 3 December 2021, 22:48

I was reading a Reddit thread the other day about bisexual men’s experiences with both sexes and they too talked about how men are easier to get along with. I think it’s a combination of traits that make it difficult to mesh with, like entitlement and also being ambiguous in what they want. There’s also mixed messaging where they’ll profess to want egalitarianism but are themselves very demanding of strict traditional gender roles in their relationships. For all their imperfections, men tend to be straightforward when they have an issue with you and you can resolve with very easily with simple communication. Women by contrast love mind games because they’re socially skilled and socially aware. I don’t know where I was going with this. I guess just that women are terrible.
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby René » 3 December 2021, 23:03

poolerboy0077 wrote:I was reading a Reddit thread the other day about bisexual men’s experiences with both sexes and they too talked about how men are easier to get along with. I think it’s a combination of traits that make it difficult to mesh with, like entitlement and also being ambiguous in what they want. There’s also mixed messaging where they’ll profess to want egalitarianism but are themselves very demanding of strict traditional gender roles in their relationships. For all their imperfections, men tend to be straightforward when they have an issue with you and you can resolve with very easily with simple communication. Women by contrast love mind games because they’re socially skilled and socially aware. I don’t know where I was going with this. I guess just that women are terrible.

(Obviously not bi, but) I imagine in general, it's easier to relate to someone of the same sex as you're likely to have more in common, like ways of thinking and social environment, and same-sex relationships are at an advantage there compared to opposite-sex ones (regardless of whether anyone in them is bi).
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Jzone » 4 December 2021, 23:10

Peter123777 wrote:Anyone bisexual here can share his/her experience being with both guys and girls?
I identify as bisexual, and close to 50/50 with my preferences. I was aware of both attractions from my earliest sexual awareness, but didn't act on attractions to guys until later in life. I married a woman, raised a family, and after divorce finally explored with guys. Now I am back with a woman, but fully acknowledge attraction to guys too.
Like, what was more satisfying for him/her physically/emotionally etc?
That is hard to say. The women I have been in relationship with have been strong — both physically and psychologically. With either gender I like to feel like we are equals. We can have different strengths, but I don't like an imbalance of dependency. I am attracted to personality at least as much as physical appearance.
If you had to choose either guys or girls, what would you choose?
I guess I have made my choice by being in a long-term exclusive relationship with a woman. That has more to do with feeling a sense of compatibility and comfort together than gender, however. My previous relationship was with a guy, and it lasted until certain incompatibilities became clear. Again, it was a matter of personality and world-view rather than gender.
Did your sexual orientation fluctuate over the years? how so?
My sexual activity certainly fluctuated. I seem to be able to let go of my attractions to others when I am in a relationship. I still feel those attractions, but they don't distract or demand action.

One difference is that I far prefer gay porn. I think this is due to old cultural biases, as in "women are not supposed to enjoy sex." (Fortunately, that bias doesn't interfere with my own relationships.) So it's hard for me not to judge women in porn negatively. At least there is still plenty of porn out there for me to enjoy. ;)
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 5 December 2021, 11:53

Brenden wrote:I don't have any sexual experience with girls, but emotionally guys are just so much easier and straightforward.

I also find guys to be a lot more attractive, probably because girls tend to use makeup and clothes and accessories to alter their appearance or others' perception, so when I see an "attractive" girl I'm always suspicious of it. When you see an attractive guy, then they're usually just unambiguously attractive. Younger women also tend more toward obesity these days, whereas most obesity among men is in the older cohort.

When I was in school I used to be much more inclined to have crushes on girls (and teachers), and only had a few crushes on guys. Whereas now I'm in a relationship with two guys, haha.


Haha, that’s kinda interesting. How come guys are easier and more straightforward than girls? Do you mean in terms of sexual advances or something else?

Have you dated girls in the past? If so, how it was? What did you liked/disliked about it? How it was different for you from dating guys?

Can definitely relate to that “younger women are more obese than younger men”, but sometimes a little overweight can be a sexy thing for girl.

Are you happy in your current relationships? How long it has been?
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 5 December 2021, 12:37

poolerboy0077 wrote:I was reading a Reddit thread the other day about bisexual men’s experiences with both sexes and they too talked about how men are easier to get along with. I think it’s a combination of traits that make it difficult to mesh with, like entitlement and also being ambiguous in what they want. There’s also mixed messaging where they’ll profess to want egalitarianism but are themselves very demanding of strict traditional gender roles in their relationships. For all their imperfections, men tend to be straightforward when they have an issue with you and you can resolve with very easily with simple communication. Women by contrast love mind games because they’re socially skilled and socially aware. I don’t know where I was going with this. I guess just that women are terrible.


Yeah, it’s probably easier to get along with guys than it’s with girls, because there isn’t that underline sexual tension. Girls are afraid of guys, because they’re weaker physically and guys can be violent and also, a girl want to know that her man is trustable, strong enough to take care of her (though on the surface women want egalitarianism nowadays) and won’t cheat on her. All these factors aren’t a problem when a guy date/communicate with another guy.

Yeah, that’s true that “they’ll profess to want egalitarianism but are themselves very demanding of strict traditional gender roles in their relationships”, because all along history men were the providers and the ones who took care of finances and were “defending the home”. Not sure if that “past perception” about the gender roles is ever truly going to change.

“Women by contrast love mind games because they’re socially skilled and socially aware”. Again, that’s because men are at first being suspected of being violent, cheaters, not being able to provide (financially, psychologically) etc. It’s mainly about testing the guy reliability, confidence etc.

Have you dated girls in the past? If so, how was that? Are you considering yourself bisexual?
I can definitely relate to what you’ve written, about it’s easier to get along with guys than girls, but a long-term romantic relationship with a girl can be very satisfying, enriching and vitalizing experience and a relationship with a guy, though easier on the beginning, can have many obstacles & problems later on. every good thing in life requires a good amount of effort, perseverance and following through on some obstacles, don’t you agree?
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Brenden » 5 December 2021, 14:03

Peter123777 wrote:Haha, that’s kinda interesting. How come guys are easier and more straightforward than girls? Do you mean in terms of sexual advances or something else?

In terms of everything.

Peter123777 wrote:Have you dated girls in the past? If so, how it was? What did you liked/disliked about it? How it was different for you from dating guys?

Yes, in high school. Navigating the intricacies of female social interaction is difficult enough when done platonically; romantically it's a whole other dimension.

I was involved in a sort of unrequited love quadrangle with three girls. It was a pain in the ass to navigate socially and lost me a few friendships and inclusion in a social circle, and it didn't even work out with the girl I liked.

Peter123777 wrote:Can definitely relate to that “younger women are more obese than younger men”, but sometimes a little overweight can be a sexy thing for girl.

"Overweight" is never sexy to me. It's unhealthy and gross and by most people's perceptions technically obesity.

Womens-BSG-images-weight-classifications-and-perceptions-by-respondents-Weight.png


Peter123777 wrote:Are you happy in your current relationships? How long it has been?

Yes, I'm very happy in my relationships. I love my husband of 11 years and I love our boyfriend of almost 2 years.
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby René » 5 December 2021, 19:05

Peter123777 wrote:Yeah, it’s probably easier to get along with guys than it’s with girls, because there isn’t that underline sexual tension. Girls are afraid of guys, because they’re weaker physically and guys can be violent and also, a girl want to know that her man is trustable, strong enough to take care of her (though on the surface women want egalitarianism nowadays) and won’t cheat on her. All these factors aren’t a problem when a guy date/communicate with another guy.

I certainly do want to know a guy won't cheat on me. :P

And it is nice to know I would have backup if I were ever attacked.
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 7 December 2021, 17:03

Jzone wrote:
Peter123777 wrote:Anyone bisexual here can share his/her experience being with both guys and girls?
I identify as bisexual, and close to 50/50 with my preferences. I was aware of both attractions from my earliest sexual awareness, but didn't act on attractions to guys until later in life. I married a woman, raised a family, and after divorce finally explored with guys. Now I am back with a woman, but fully acknowledge attraction to guys too.
Like, what was more satisfying for him/her physically/emotionally etc?
That is hard to say. The women I have been in relationship with have been strong — both physically and psychologically. With either gender I like to feel like we are equals. We can have different strengths, but I don't like an imbalance of dependency. I am attracted to personality at least as much as physical appearance.
If you had to choose either guys or girls, what would you choose?
I guess I have made my choice by being in a long-term exclusive relationship with a woman. That has more to do with feeling a sense of compatibility and comfort together than gender, however. My previous relationship was with a guy, and it lasted until certain incompatibilities became clear. Again, it was a matter of personality and world-view rather than gender.
Did your sexual orientation fluctuate over the years? how so?
My sexual activity certainly fluctuated. I seem to be able to let go of my attractions to others when I am in a relationship. I still feel those attractions, but they don't distract or demand action.

One difference is that I far prefer gay porn. I think this is due to old cultural biases, as in "women are not supposed to enjoy sex." (Fortunately, that bias doesn't interfere with my own relationships.) So it's hard for me not to judge women in porn negatively. At least there is still plenty of porn out there for me to enjoy. ;)


Honestly that’s kinda weird you’re far more into gay porn than straight one. There’s plenty of variety of straight porn and it’s kinda difficult not to find any of that appealing and arousing. Maybe that’s more of an inner perception you have, regardless of porn (that women are not supposed to enjoy sex). I find it hard to grasp how it doesn’t affect the relationships you have currently or had with women in the past, or does it actually do hurt the quality of love and intimacy you are experiencing or had experienced with women?

So generally, you like strong women or you just don’t like women that are very dependent and “needy”? What features and characteristics you’re looking for in a partner? Do you search for different things in men compare to women?
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 7 December 2021, 17:33

Brenden wrote:I was involved in a sort of unrequited love quadrangle with three girls. It was a pain in the ass to navigate socially and lost me a few friendships and inclusion in a social circle, and it didn't even work out with the girl I liked.

That’s sounds like a mess… how were you involved with 3 different girls simultaneously? Why it had cost you in loosing a few friendships and inclusion of a social circle? After that you’ve never tried to date girls again?


Brenden wrote:Yes, in high school. Navigating the intricacies of female social interaction is difficult enough when done platonically; romantically it's a whole other dimension.

I can relate to what you’ve written, girls can be more difficult to interact with, but as I’ve written girls are afraid of guys, because guys can be violent and disturbed etc and also, a girl want to know that the guy she’s dating is reliable and strong enough to take care of her. All these factors aren’t an issue when guys dating other guys. Can you relate to that/does it make sense to you?


Brenden wrote:"Overweight" is never sexy to me. It's unhealthy and gross and by most people's perceptions technically obesity.

In second thought you’re actually right😅, according to that picture the “overweight” class is the first picture that start to look unattractive.


Brenden wrote:Yes, I'm very happy in my relationships. I love my husband of 11 years and I love our boyfriend of almost 2 years.

That’s sounds great, glad for you.
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby René » 7 December 2021, 18:28

Peter123777 wrote:There’s plenty of variety of straight porn and it’s kinda difficult not to find any of that appealing and arousing.

Is that speaking as a bi or gay person? :P

Peter123777 wrote:
Brenden wrote:I was involved in a sort of unrequited love quadrangle with three girls. It was a pain in the ass to navigate socially and lost me a few friendships and inclusion in a social circle, and it didn't even work out with the girl I liked.

That’s sounds like a mess… how were you involved with 3 different girls simultaneously?

A love triangle generally involves one person liking another who likes another who likes the first. It doesn't necessarily involve anyone actually being involved with anyone else. Sounds like Brenden was in a kind of 4-person version of that.

Peter123777 wrote:girls are afraid of guys, because guys can be violent and disturbed etc and also, a girl want to know that the guy she’s dating is reliable and strong enough to take care of her. All these factors aren’t an issue when guys dating other guys.

Women can be violent and disturbed also. Men (both gay and straight) experience domestic violence too. Roughly 1/3 of domestic-violence victims are male. They are victims of both men and women. Severe aggression is more often instigated by women than by men. Men more often do not retaliate when attacked by a female partner.

As a gay male, I also want to know the guys I'm dating are reliable, and ideally stronger than me (I doubt I could put up much of a fight by myself).

Is it possible you've got a bit of a distorted and polarised view of male, female‚ gay and straight characteristics? :D
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Brenden » 7 December 2021, 21:19

Peter123777 wrote:
Brenden wrote:I was involved in a sort of unrequited love quadrangle with three girls. It was a pain in the ass to navigate socially and lost me a few friendships and inclusion in a social circle, and it didn't even work out with the girl I liked.

That’s sounds like a mess… how were you involved with 3 different girls simultaneously? Why it had cost you in loosing a few friendships and inclusion of a social circle? After that you’ve never tried to date girls again?

Girl A has a crush on me (unknown to me), I have a crush on girl B, who a the friend of girl A. Girl A gets me to join her friend group, and I tell her that I like girl B. Problem is, I got girl B's name mixed up with girl C, also in the friend group. This name confusion isn't sorted quickly enough for girl C to not get the idea that I like her into her head. When the confusion is sorted out, I think girl C — who's the domineering de facto leader of the group — took it as an offence, or something, because she became bitter toward me and kept trying to get the other girls and guys in the friend group to dislike me. This goes on for some time and I try and court girl B, but I'm not successful before girl C is able to latch on to some comment I made in passing to a guy friend in the group and twisted it into something I didn't say at all. This basically turned everyone in the group against me, except for girl A who still has the crush on me and girl B who becomes just neutral toward me (but definitely no longer datable).

If this were all with guys I'm sure it wouldn't have been such a drama.


Peter123777 wrote:
Brenden wrote:Yes, in high school. Navigating the intricacies of female social interaction is difficult enough when done platonically; romantically it's a whole other dimension.

I can relate to what you’ve written, girls can be more difficult to interact with, but as I’ve written girls are afraid of guys, because guys can be violent and disturbed etc and also, a girl want to know that the guy she’s dating is reliable and strong enough to take care of her. All these factors aren’t an issue when guys dating other guys. Can you relate to that/does it make sense to you?

Girls are emotionally abusive to each other all the time in environments that are devoid or nearly devoid of men. They're masters of relational aggression and wield words and social status as weapons.

Peter123777 wrote:
Brenden wrote:Yes, I'm very happy in my relationships. I love my husband of 11 years and I love our boyfriend of almost 2 years.

That’s sounds great, glad for you.

Thanks! :keke:
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 9 December 2021, 15:00

[quote="René wrote:There’s plenty of variety of straight porn and it’s kinda difficult not to find any of that appealing and arousing.
Is that speaking as a bi or gay person? :P

I'm bisexual myself and used to find gay and straight porn to be attractive and arousing (many sorts of categories). I actually quit watching porn because I felt It lower my self-confidence, hurt my self-esteem and it's generally distorted and present false picture of the reality of sex and of romantic expressions.

René wrote:
Brenden wrote:I was involved in a sort of unrequited love quadrangle with three girls. It was a pain in the ass to navigate socially and lost me a few friendships and inclusion in a social circle, and it didn't even work out with the girl I liked.
That’s sounds like a mess… how were you involved with 3 different girls simultaneously?

A love triangle generally involves one person liking another who likes another who likes the first. It doesn't necessarily involve anyone actually being involved with anyone else. Sounds like Brenden was in a kind of 4-person version of that.

Got the picture... That's sounds like a mess though

René wrote:girls are afraid of guys, because guys can be violent and disturbed etc and also, a girl want to know that the guy she’s dating is reliable and strong enough to take care of her. All these factors aren’t an issue when guys dating other guys.
Women can be violent and disturbed also. Men (both gay and straight) experience domestic violence too. Roughly 1/3 of domestic-violence victims are male. They are victims of both men and women. Severe aggression is more often instigated by women than by men. Men more often do not retaliate when attacked by a female partner.

Men are generally way more violent than women. 95+% of criminals are men. Testosterone is way higher in men and that's a major incentive to be aggressive and violent. Generally speaking, when a guy and a girl goes out on a date, the woman is the one who in most cases, needs to be cautious and assess whether the guy is “normal” and won’t turned out to be a disturbed freak. Also, since in most history men where the providers (off money, food, protection etc), girls are still wanting to make sure that the guy they’re dating is strong enough to take care of them (Though might be even feminists on “the surface”).

René wrote:As a gay male, I also want to know the guys I'm dating are reliable, and ideally stronger than me (I doubt I could put up much of a fight by myself).

That’s makes sense and totally legitimate, but still, generally, women have more justified reasons to be afraid and suspicious about the guys they’re dating and not vice versa.

René wrote:Is it possible you've got a bit of a distorted and polarised view of male, female‚ gay and straight characteristics? :D

I think male and female are in fact polarized to some degree. Male doesn’t equal female. Male or Masculine energy is more about dominance, conquering, achieving, getting things done etc. Female or Feminine energy is more about love, connection, softness, acceptance, calm energy etc. If men and women were exactly the same, there were mush less incentive for them to partner up and the world would have been a way more boring place to live in."
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 9 December 2021, 15:59

Brenden wrote:
Peter123777 wrote:
Brenden wrote:I was involved in a sort of unrequited love quadrangle with three girls. It was a pain in the ass to navigate socially and lost me a few friendships and inclusion in a social circle, and it didn't even work out with the girl I liked.

That’s sounds like a mess… how were you involved with 3 different girls simultaneously? Why it had cost you in loosing a few friendships and inclusion of a social circle? After that you’ve never tried to date girls again?


Girl A has a crush on me (unknown to me), I have a crush on girl B, who a the friend of girl A. Girl A gets me to join her friend group, and I tell her that I like girl B. Problem is, I got girl B's name mixed up with girl C, also in the friend group. This name confusion isn't sorted quickly enough for girl C to not get the idea that I like her into her head. When the confusion is sorted out, I think girl C — who's the domineering de facto leader of the group — took it as an offence, or something, because she became bitter toward me and kept trying to get the other girls and guys in the friend group to dislike me. This goes on for some time and I try and court girl B, but I'm not successful before girl C is able to latch on to some comment I made in passing to a guy friend in the group and twisted it into something I didn't say at all. This basically turned everyone in the group against me, except for girl A who still has the crush on me and girl B who becomes just neutral toward me (but definitely no longer datable).

If this were all with guys I'm sure it wouldn't have been such a drama.

Haha that’s indeed sounds like a big mess... 😅 I tend to agree but guys might also be “socially sophisticated and manipulative” or something in that realm. It’s true that generally, girls are much more into “social fabric dilemmas and complexities” than guys, because of the different nature of guys and girls. Guys are more inclined toward “getting it done” (accomplishing the task in hand), while girls tend to over complicates things, usually to an unnecessary reasons. That’s because in the far past, when they were gathers (and men were hunters), they needed to remember where they collected the food (fruits, vegetables etc), when it was, what dangerous and complications were in the way and so, they wanted to share that information as much as possible, so that it would be easier for them to remember all those little details. For that reason, women are much into “little details” than guys do, while guys are much more into the bigger picture than girls.


Peter123777 wrote:
Brenden wrote:Yes, in high school. Navigating the intricacies of female social interaction is difficult enough when done platonically; romantically it's a whole other dimension.

I can relate to what you’ve written, girls can be more difficult to interact with, but as I’ve written girls are afraid of guys, because guys can be violent and disturbed etc and also, a girl want to know that the guy she’s dating is reliable and strong enough to take care of her. All these factors aren’t an issue when guys dating other guys. Can you relate to that/does it make sense to you?

Brenden wrote:Girls are emotionally abusive to each other all the time in environments that are devoid or nearly devoid of men. They're masters of relational aggression and wield words and social status as weapons.


Similarly, to what I’ve written above, girls tend to complicate things and because they’re way less into physical aggressiveness and dominance, their way of hierarchy is much more about social status and relationships then men. Guys can be very cruel too, cursing and being abusive verbally and physically toward the weak and weird guys. I’ve experienced that in first hand, while many guys in middle school used to tease me with a bunch of curses (your mother… your father… etc). Don't you agree that guys can be very cruel too?

Peter123777 wrote:
Brenden wrote:Yes, I'm very happy in my relationships. I love my husband of 11 years and I love our boyfriend of almost 2 years.
That’s sounds great, glad for you.
Thanks! :keke:

You’re welcome!
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby René » 9 December 2021, 18:00

Peter123777 wrote:
René wrote:There’s plenty of variety of straight porn and it’s kinda difficult not to find any of that appealing and arousing.
Is that speaking as a bi or gay person? :P

I'm bisexual myself and used to find gay and straight porn to be attractive and arousing (many sorts of categories). I actually quit watching porn because I felt It lower my self-confidence, hurt my self-esteem and it's generally distorted and present false picture of the reality of sex and of romantic expressions.

Just checking because being a gay guy, women are instant turn-offs :P

Peter123777 wrote:
René wrote:Women can be violent and disturbed also. Men (both gay and straight) experience domestic violence too. Roughly 1/3 of domestic-violence victims are male. They are victims of both men and women. Severe aggression is more often instigated by women than by men. Men more often do not retaliate when attacked by a female partner.

Men are generally way more violent than women. 95+% of criminals are men. Testosterone is way higher in men and that's a major incentive to be aggressive and violent. Generally speaking, when a guy and a girl goes out on a date, the woman is the one who in most cases, needs to be cautious and assess whether the guy is “normal” and won’t turned out to be a disturbed freak. Also, since in most history men where the providers (off money, food, protection etc), girls are still wanting to make sure that the guy they’re dating is strong enough to take care of them (Though might be even feminists on “the surface”).

There is no contradiction with anything I said. You said all these factors aren’t an issue for guys dating other guys. I pointed out that it's not so clearcut and we have some of the same concerns and (straight) men aren't the only people who can be violent and disturbed, etc.

Peter123777 wrote:
René wrote:Is it possible you've got a bit of a distorted and polarised view of male, female‚ gay and straight characteristics? :D

I think male and female are in fact polarized to some degree. Male doesn’t equal female. Male or Masculine energy is more about dominance, conquering, achieving, getting things done etc. Female or Feminine energy is more about love, connection, softness, acceptance, calm energy etc. If men and women were exactly the same, there were mush less incentive for them to partner up and the world would have been a way more boring place to live in."

That seems very stereotyping and at least bordering on anti-gay, to be honest. I find massive benefits in partnering up with other guys (at some levels I feel it actually makes a lot more sense than opposite-sex relationships, and I'm very very glad to be gay)... and it's got nothing to do with dominance, conquering, achieving or getting things done and lots to do with love, connection and affection, and that doesn't make us feminine.
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 15 December 2021, 17:09

René wrote:
Peter123777 wrote:
René wrote:There’s plenty of variety of straight porn and it’s kinda difficult not to find any of that appealing and arousing.
Is that speaking as a bi or gay person? :P

I'm bisexual myself and used to find gay and straight porn to be attractive and arousing (many sorts of categories). I actually quit watching porn because I felt It lower my self-confidence, hurt my self-esteem and it's generally distorted and present false picture of the reality of sex and of romantic expressions.

Just checking because being a gay guy, women are instant turn-offs :P

Peter123777 wrote:
René wrote:Women can be violent and disturbed also. Men (both gay and straight) experience domestic violence too. Roughly 1/3 of domestic-violence victims are male. They are victims of both men and women. Severe aggression is more often instigated by women than by men. Men more often do not retaliate when attacked by a female partner.

Men are generally way more violent than women. 95+% of criminals are men. Testosterone is way higher in men and that's a major incentive to be aggressive and violent. Generally speaking, when a guy and a girl goes out on a date, the woman is the one who in most cases, needs to be cautious and assess whether the guy is “normal” and won’t turned out to be a disturbed freak. Also, since in most history men where the providers (off money, food, protection etc), girls are still wanting to make sure that the guy they’re dating is strong enough to take care of them (Though might be even feminists on “the surface”).

There is no contradiction with anything I said. You said all these factors aren’t an issue for guys dating other guys. I pointed out that it's not so clearcut and we have some of the same concerns and (straight) men aren't the only people who can be violent and disturbed, etc.

Yes, of course women can be violent and turned out to be “psycho” too, and so guys have a reason to suspect women too, but generally, and from your answer I believe we can agree on this, to a substantially lower degree than the opposite scenario. The point, is that men are stronger physically and thus, whether they’re gay/straight and whether they’re dating men/women, they’ll be able to handle a man/woman turned out to be a “freak”, much better than women will. That’s also why women tend to “test” men in what seems to be many sorts of “social mind games”, whereas in reality, they just want to make sure they’ll be safe, protected and can trust this man they’re dating with (another part, is that most women are socially and emotionally more developed than men).

Peter123777 wrote:
René wrote:Is it possible you've got a bit of a distorted and polarised view of male, female‚ gay and straight characteristics? :D

I think male and female are in fact polarized to some degree. Male doesn’t equal female. Male or Masculine energy is more about dominance, conquering, achieving, getting things done etc. Female or Feminine energy is more about love, connection, softness, acceptance, calm energy etc. If men and women were exactly the same, there were mush less incentive for them to partner up and the world would have been a way more boring place to live in."

René wrote:That seems very stereotyping and at least bordering on anti-gay, to be honest. I find massive benefits in partnering up with other guys (at some levels I feel it actually makes a lot more sense than opposite-sex relationships, and I'm very very glad to be gay)... and it's got nothing to do with dominance, conquering, achieving or getting things done and lots to do with love, connection and affection, and that doesn't make us feminine.

I didn’t mean to sound or imply anti-gay opinion at all, so I apologize if it had been interpreted that way. Of course, there a lot of benefits in men partnering with other men and they also can have much love, affection and connection and it doesn’t mean that the guys involve are feminine. Same gender couples usually have more things in common, are able to agree and make meaningful decisions on many subjects better and generally more in accord with each other. Also, men, whether gay or straight, can incline to be a more gentle, soft and loving type of person and vice versa, women can incline to be a more achieving, ‘mission oriented’ and aggressive type of person. But again, generally, men tend more than woman, to incline toward being a more aggressive, achieving, ‘mission oriented’ etc type of person.

It doesn’t mean that all men are “aggressive and conquering”, just that they have a tendency to be like that to somewhat varying degree, more than women do (and vice versa – women tend more than men to be warm, gentle, accepting etc). Anyhow, as long as a couple have some polarity and “spice” in their relationship, meaning different complementing characteristics, as well as many of things in common and they’re committed to each other, they’ll have a great relationship. Doesn’t matter whether they’re both men, women or man and woman.

By the way, in order to experience complete self-fulfillment in life, both men and women should realize their both sides of personality, i.e., their masculinity and femininity. Do you agree?

Also, do you agree though, that masculinity has “a bigger part” in men life and femininity has “a bigger part” in women life? I.e., do you agree that a man who wants to experience self-fulfillment in his life, should follow a path leading him to realize his masculinity, meaning setting goals, taking action, achieving etc and that for most men, that’s play a somewhat more important role than finding love & connection with others, i.e., realizing his feminine side (though it’s highly important as well)? And vice versa for women – developing love and connection plays a somewhat more important factor in their self-realization, than setting big goals and achieving them (though it’s very important too)?
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Jzone » 16 December 2021, 08:29

Peter123777 wrote:Honestly that’s kinda weird you’re far more into gay porn than straight one. There’s plenty of variety of straight porn and it’s kinda difficult not to find any of that appealing and arousing. Maybe that’s more of an inner perception you have, regardless of porn (that women are not supposed to enjoy sex). I find it hard to grasp how it doesn’t affect the relationships you have currently or had with women in the past, or does it actually do hurt the quality of love and intimacy you are experiencing or had experienced with women?

That is simply your lack of understanding. I do find straight porn arousing, just less so than gay porn. Yes, it is an inner perception of mine — brought on by cultural indoctrination. That is what I said.

So generally, you like strong women or you just don’t like women that are very dependent and “needy”? What features and characteristics you’re looking for in a partner? Do you search for different things in men compare to women?

I don’t like women or men who are dependent or needy. I want an equal partner, woman or man.
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Eos » 17 December 2021, 07:22

Peter :

You seems to make a lot of assumptions, you're repeating "X gender tend to...".

I want to know if these are assumptions or if you have anything (besides your own experience) to back up your claims. Any study ?
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Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby René » 17 December 2021, 11:28

Peter123777 wrote:By the way, in order to experience complete self-fulfillment in life, both men and women should realize their both sides of personality, i.e., their masculinity and femininity. Do you agree?

Also, do you agree though, that masculinity has “a bigger part” in men life and femininity has “a bigger part” in women life? I.e., do you agree that a man who wants to experience self-fulfillment in his life, should follow a path leading him to realize his masculinity, meaning setting goals, taking action, achieving etc and that for most men, that’s play a somewhat more important role than finding love & connection with others, i.e., realizing his feminine side (though it’s highly important as well)? And vice versa for women – developing love and connection plays a somewhat more important factor in their self-realization, than setting big goals and achieving them (though it’s very important too)?

The thing is that I don't associate these things with masculinity and femininity so much.

It's not for me to say what any man or woman should do. For me personally, a satisfying and meaningful love life is a mission/goal. In what you wrote I see again the idea that that is somehow a feminine thing. I don't see it that way at all, and I also don't think it's at odds with goal-oriented behaviour. Would you say it's me using my masculinity to achieve my femininity? :P
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