For The Bisexuals Out There

Ask questions and discuss your relationships with partners or parents, family or friends.

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Jzone » 19 December 2021, 00:25

Peter123777 wrote:So generally, you like strong women or you just don’t like women that are very dependent and “needy”? What features and characteristics you’re looking for in a partner?

To be clear, I like independent men and women (probably a better word than 'strong'). My ideal partner can be needy at times, as long as that is balanced by being there for me in my own moments of need. I also value curiosity, humility, confidence, compassion, and a sense of humor in a partner.

Do you search for different things in men compare to women?

Well, I like some stubble on a guy's face when we are making out. That is somewhat less attractive on a woman.
just an everyday boy — doing everyday things
User avatar
Jzone
 
Posts: 1386
+1s received: 1569
Joined: 21 October 2017, 17:58
Location: USA, Washington State
Country: Italy (it)

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 20 December 2021, 10:17

René wrote:
Peter123777 wrote:By the way, in order to experience complete self-fulfillment in life, both men and women should realize their both sides of personality, i.e., their masculinity and femininity. Do you agree?

Also, do you agree though, that masculinity has “a bigger part” in men life and femininity has “a bigger part” in women life? I.e., do you agree that a man who wants to experience self-fulfillment in his life, should follow a path leading him to realize his masculinity, meaning setting goals, taking action, achieving etc and that for most men, that’s play a somewhat more important role than finding love & connection with others, i.e., realizing his feminine side (though it’s highly important as well)? And vice versa for women – developing love and connection plays a somewhat more important factor in their self-realization, than setting big goals and achieving them (though it’s very important too)?

The thing is that I don't associate these things with masculinity and femininity so much.

It's not for me to say what any man or woman should do. For me personally, a satisfying and meaningful love life is a mission/goal. In what you wrote I see again the idea that that is somehow a feminine thing. I don't see it that way at all, and I also don't think it's at odds with goal-oriented behaviour. Would you say it's me using my masculinity to achieve my femininity? :P


Haha, you can definitely look at it that way – making finding love and a meaningful relationship, a mission/goal in itself. There’s nothing wrong or feminine with it of course. At the same time, do you also think that in order to feel completely fulfilled, one should have other meaningful goals as well, such as work and career related accomplishments and/or recreational related goals?

Do you have kids or planning to have? Do you consider raising a family a significant part of experiencing self-fulfillment in the realm of love & connection? Do you have other goals, work/career/recreational related etc?
Peter123777
 
Posts: 47
+1s received: 8
Joined: 17 August 2021, 14:52
Country: Israel (il)

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 20 December 2021, 11:08

Jzone wrote:
Peter123777 wrote:Honestly that’s kinda weird you’re far more into gay porn than straight one. There’s plenty of variety of straight porn and it’s kinda difficult not to find any of that appealing and arousing. Maybe that’s more of an inner perception you have, regardless of porn (that women are not supposed to enjoy sex). I find it hard to grasp how it doesn’t affect the relationships you have currently or had with women in the past, or does it actually do hurt the quality of love and intimacy you are experiencing or had experienced with women?

That is simply your lack of understanding. I do find straight porn arousing, just less so than gay porn. Yes, it is an inner perception of mine — brought on by cultural indoctrination. That is what I said.


I see; indeed, I didn’t understand it that way. To be honest, I have the same subconscious limiting and wrong belief, that women don’t like sex and that it even painful and hurting for them (physically). I had a “sexually frigid” mom, that never talked about sex and when there was a sexual scene on TV for example, she’d always changed channel/fast forward the scene, as if sex is “a sin” and wrong somehow. She was sexually abused to some degree as a kid, by her clarinet teacher.

Did you also had a what you would consider to be “sexual frigid” mother too? If not, what do you thing had caused you to develop that inner perception? What other misleading inner perceptions you have?
For me, another false belief I developed, is that heterosexual relationships are not equal, in the sense that men do more and compromising more in order to satisfy the women, rather than the opposite.

Jzone wrote:
Peter123777 wrote:So generally, you like strong women or you just don’t like women that are very dependent and “needy”? What features and characteristics you’re looking for in a partner? Do you search for different things in men compare to women?

I don’t like women or men who are dependent or needy. I want an equal partner, woman or man.

I see, that’s very understandable. Can definitely relate to that.


Jzone wrote:
Peter123777 wrote:So generally, you like strong women or you just don’t like women that are very dependent and “needy”? What features and characteristics you’re looking for in a partner?

To be clear, I like independent men and women (probably a better word than 'strong'). My ideal partner can be needy at times, as long as that is balanced by being there for me in my own moments of need. I also value curiosity, humility, confidence, compassion, and a sense of humor in a partner.

I see, that’s makes sense. Sounds like great characteristics. What are the dominant characteristics you consider yourself to have? Which ones of them in particular, are more important for you that your partner will also have? Are there are more important characteristics you’re looking for in a man vs woman or gender doesn’t matter?

Jzone wrote:
Peter123777 wrote:Do you search for different things in men compare to women?

Well, I like some stubble on a guy's face when we are making out. That is somewhat less attractive on a woman.

Haha that’s reasonable 🙂 What other physical features you like in men? In women?
Peter123777
 
Posts: 47
+1s received: 8
Joined: 17 August 2021, 14:52
Country: Israel (il)

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby René » 24 December 2021, 03:45

Peter123777 wrote:
René wrote:
Peter123777 wrote:By the way, in order to experience complete self-fulfillment in life, both men and women should realize their both sides of personality, i.e., their masculinity and femininity. Do you agree?

Also, do you agree though, that masculinity has “a bigger part” in men life and femininity has “a bigger part” in women life? I.e., do you agree that a man who wants to experience self-fulfillment in his life, should follow a path leading him to realize his masculinity, meaning setting goals, taking action, achieving etc and that for most men, that’s play a somewhat more important role than finding love & connection with others, i.e., realizing his feminine side (though it’s highly important as well)? And vice versa for women – developing love and connection plays a somewhat more important factor in their self-realization, than setting big goals and achieving them (though it’s very important too)?

The thing is that I don't associate these things with masculinity and femininity so much.

It's not for me to say what any man or woman should do. For me personally, a satisfying and meaningful love life is a mission/goal. In what you wrote I see again the idea that that is somehow a feminine thing. I don't see it that way at all, and I also don't think it's at odds with goal-oriented behaviour. Would you say it's me using my masculinity to achieve my femininity? :P

Haha, you can definitely look at it that way – making finding love and a meaningful relationship, a mission/goal in itself. There’s nothing wrong or feminine with it of course. At the same time, do you also think that in order to feel completely fulfilled, one should have other meaningful goals as well, such as work and career related accomplishments and/or recreational related goals?

Do you have kids or planning to have? Do you consider raising a family a significant part of experiencing self-fulfillment in the realm of love & connection? Do you have other goals, work/career/recreational related etc?

Again, it's not for me to say.

Personally, I try to do good and make a positive contribution to the world while being happy and having fun. I'm not overly interested in work/career stuff beyond making sure my partners and I are financially secure.

My sisters are much more ambitious than me, and I don't think that's masculine of them either.
One of them simultaneously is raising 2 young kids (all the while advancing her career in the Netherlands' justice system), and the other really wants to have some (while having a pretty important job in the Department of Defence).

Feelings about kids (recently came up in another thread):
René wrote:I feel pretty neutral about the idea. I'd be open to it in the long term if my partners want it and it's important to them. I think Brenden thinks he might like to; not sure about Shawn, although he seems great with kids. :3

I imagine it would be relatively easy with three parents and three incomes. And having three dads might be pretty neat for a kid. :D

So I guess that's a no to "Do you consider raising a family a significant part of experiencing self-fulfillment in the realm of love & connection?".
ImageImageImageImage
User avatar
René
Administrator
 
Posts: 7781
+1s received: 2859
Joined: 20 December 2012, 20:12
Location: Maryland, USA / Lanarkshire, Scotland
Country: United States (us)

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Josh » 27 December 2021, 01:47

Peter123777 wrote:Anyone bisexual here can share his/her experience being with both guys and girls?
Like, what was more satisfying for him/her physically/emotionally etc?
If you had to choose either guys or girls, what would you choose?
Did your sexual orientation fluctuate over the years? how so?


Hi, bisexual here...

Did your sexual orientation fluctuate over the years? How so?
Hell yes. I went from asexual in my early teens, to presuming I was gay in my late teens, to realising I was bi at 22. My asexuality was genuine, I had no sexual or romantic interests in that time. I think I was mistaken in concluding I was gay, and have been comfortably bi ever since realising I was. In effect I'm more honestly pansexual, but bi works just as well with the experiences I've had with people.

If you had to choose either guys or girls, what would you choose?
I wouldn't. Because my sexual identity isn't a choice, and neither are my sexual or romantic preferences. If someone told me I had to be something I wasn't, I'd choose defiance or death.

What was more satisfying for him/her physically/emotionally?
I honestly think guys are more emotionally complex than girls typically - and this is due to transparency. Guys have layers of emotion wrapped in all sorts of gendered and social expectations which creates more layers to work through as well. Guys often don't understand their own emotions, let alone having someone else try to understand them. Girls are typically more assertive of their emotions as they are, and this makes them more capable at understanding, handling, and expressing them. There is of course no one size fits all rule though. Some straight girls hate bi guys who tend to be more emotionally engaged than straight guys would be, because they associate that emotion with effeminacy. Other girls love it and it can be the most rewarding of emotional relationships - when a girl is capable of lifting up a guy who can admit his emotions, that's satisfying. At the same time, it can be satisfying when two guys are able to openly do that too - it's just harder to come by.

Physically, there is obviously something to be said for being with someone of the same sex. They most likely know what works best sexually, because they have the same as you do physically. That, along with a tendency for more adventurous physicality between same-sex partners, gives such pairings/groups a bit of an edge on opposite-sex. But both can be brilliant and it again depends on the person rather than a one-size-fits-all rule. Especially when you're bi and you're capable of physical attraction to a very varied range of people.
Josh
 
Posts: 3469
+1s received: 58
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:55
Location: 23 Piss Off Ave, London W F*ck

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 27 December 2021, 17:38

Josh wrote:Did your sexual orientation fluctuate over the years? How so?
Hell yes. I went from asexual in my early teens, to presuming I was gay in my late teens, to realising I was bi at 22. My asexuality was genuine, I had no sexual or romantic interests in that time. I think I was mistaken in concluding I was gay, and have been comfortably bi ever since realising I was. In effect I'm more honestly pansexual, but bi works just as well with the experiences I've had with people.

Would you say you tend to prefer sexual submission or sexual dominance? Asking for science.

Josh wrote:If you had to choose either guys or girls, what would you choose?
I wouldn't. Because my sexual identity isn't a choice, and neither are my sexual or romantic preferences. If someone told me I had to be something I wasn't, I'd choose defiance or death.

Would you say your attraction is 50/50 for guys and girls? Is that the most common attraction bisexuals feel or is it more the case that a bisexual tends to lean more toward one than the other?
Blow: "Nowadays even Liam can release an album of his screechy vocals and it'll probably go #1..."
Ramzus: I can admit that I'm horny just about 24/7
homomorphism: I used to not think your name was deshay and that Erick was just being racist
Hunter: sometimes I think I was literally born to be a pornstar
User avatar
poolerboy0077
 
Posts: 9870
+1s received: 2733
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:20
Country: United States (us)

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Josh » 28 December 2021, 03:39

poolerboy0077 wrote:Would you say you tend to prefer sexual submission or sexual dominance? Asking for science.
In line with bisexuality, we'll settle on both :lol:

Life is more fun when you can both dom and sub. That being said, being dom doesn't run the same risks - like getting stopped and searched at Heathrow Airport customs with a whole suitcase full of the most bottom-bitch ass gimp gear and having it paraded about whilst you explain to the nice woman what a humbler is - so make of that what you will for your studies.


poolerboy0077 wrote:Would you say your attraction is 50/50 for guys and girls? Is that the most common attraction bisexuals feel or is it more the case that a bisexual tends to lean more toward one than the other?
I don't know many bi people that don't admit to some kind of lean, one way or another. I find usually a lean tends to favour the same sex or gender, depressingly because it's easier to make moves with someone whose also definitely a minority like you are, rather than running the risk of hetero hate. I can relate to this... I've been with more guys than girls as it's far less intimidating, especially if you already deal with low confidence or self-esteem.

In terms of raw attraction though, I'm likely a 60/40, favouring guys. As well as the convenience of guys, my taste in girls is far more restricting. I tend to be attracted to slightly older women, and that doesn't yield many results when you're telling her with your ten-year old elf-face that you like dick as well.
Josh
 
Posts: 3469
+1s received: 58
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:55
Location: 23 Piss Off Ave, London W F*ck

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby René » 28 December 2021, 09:09

Josh wrote:In terms of raw attraction though, I'm likely a 60/40, favouring guys. As well as the convenience of guys, my taste in girls is far more restricting. I tend to be attracted to slightly older women, and that doesn't yield many results when you're telling her with your ten-year old elf-face that you like dick as well.

Hahaha, awwww! :3

I'm so glad I'm gay. Life seems so much simpler this way :P
ImageImageImageImage
User avatar
René
Administrator
 
Posts: 7781
+1s received: 2859
Joined: 20 December 2012, 20:12
Location: Maryland, USA / Lanarkshire, Scotland
Country: United States (us)

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 29 December 2021, 17:13

René wrote:
Peter123777 wrote:
René wrote:
Peter123777 wrote:By the way, in order to experience complete self-fulfillment in life, both men and women should realize their both sides of personality, i.e., their masculinity and femininity. Do you agree?

Also, do you agree though, that masculinity has “a bigger part” in men life and femininity has “a bigger part” in women life? I.e., do you agree that a man who wants to experience self-fulfillment in his life, should follow a path leading him to realize his masculinity, meaning setting goals, taking action, achieving etc and that for most men, that’s play a somewhat more important role than finding love & connection with others, i.e., realizing his feminine side (though it’s highly important as well)? And vice versa for women – developing love and connection plays a somewhat more important factor in their self-realization, than setting big goals and achieving them (though it’s very important too)?

The thing is that I don't associate these things with masculinity and femininity so much.

It's not for me to say what any man or woman should do. For me personally, a satisfying and meaningful love life is a mission/goal. In what you wrote I see again the idea that that is somehow a feminine thing. I don't see it that way at all, and I also don't think it's at odds with goal-oriented behaviour. Would you say it's me using my masculinity to achieve my femininity? :P

Haha, you can definitely look at it that way – making finding love and a meaningful relationship, a mission/goal in itself. There’s nothing wrong or feminine with it of course. At the same time, do you also think that in order to feel completely fulfilled, one should have other meaningful goals as well, such as work and career related accomplishments and/or recreational related goals?

Do you have kids or planning to have? Do you consider raising a family a significant part of experiencing self-fulfillment in the realm of love & connection? Do you have other goals, work/career/recreational related etc?

Again, it's not for me to say.

Personally, I try to do good and make a positive contribution to the world while being happy and having fun. I'm not overly interested in work/career stuff beyond making sure my partners and I are financially secure.

My sisters are much more ambitious than me, and I don't think that's masculine of them either.
One of them simultaneously is raising 2 young kids (all the while advancing her career in the Netherlands' justice system), and the other really wants to have some (while having a pretty important job in the Department of Defence).

Feelings about kids (recently came up in another thread):
René wrote:I feel pretty neutral about the idea. I'd be open to it in the long term if my partners want it and it's important to them. I think Brenden thinks he might like to; not sure about Shawn, although he seems great with kids. :3

I imagine it would be relatively easy with three parents and three incomes. And having three dads might be pretty neat for a kid. :D

So I guess that's a no to "Do you consider raising a family a significant part of experiencing self-fulfillment in the realm of love & connection?".



I see, yes everyone has its own ambitions, aspirations, values, preferences etc. You’re right in that everyone is a bit different and values some needs more than other ones (such as relationships more than career or adventures and taking risks over stability and a “same thing every day” routine etc).
Would you say that you’re more alike to your mother or father in your attitudes and worldviews?
As you were growing up, did you had a “happy family” or you’ve had a generally bad experience of the concept of family? (Abusive father/mother, violence or detachment between family members, consistent fightings between your parents or you and your sisters etc)

I know I’ve had a pretty rough experience as a child growing up in my family. My father was violent and kinda hostile, my parents fought a lot, including violence. There were expressions of affection and love between my parents though and so, my perception of relationship wasn’t “shaped” completely negatively and I do hope to a family of my own and give my children a much better experience of childhood and of a family. Can you relate somehow?
Peter123777
 
Posts: 47
+1s received: 8
Joined: 17 August 2021, 14:52
Country: Israel (il)

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 2 January 2022, 18:02

a
Last edited by Peter123777 on 2 January 2022, 18:15, edited 1 time in total.
Peter123777
 
Posts: 47
+1s received: 8
Joined: 17 August 2021, 14:52
Country: Israel (il)

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 2 January 2022, 18:04

a
Last edited by Peter123777 on 2 January 2022, 18:14, edited 1 time in total.
Peter123777
 
Posts: 47
+1s received: 8
Joined: 17 August 2021, 14:52
Country: Israel (il)

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 2 January 2022, 18:04

a
Last edited by Peter123777 on 2 January 2022, 18:14, edited 1 time in total.
Peter123777
 
Posts: 47
+1s received: 8
Joined: 17 August 2021, 14:52
Country: Israel (il)

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 2 January 2022, 18:05

a
Last edited by Peter123777 on 2 January 2022, 18:14, edited 2 times in total.
Peter123777
 
Posts: 47
+1s received: 8
Joined: 17 August 2021, 14:52
Country: Israel (il)

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 2 January 2022, 18:06

a
Last edited by Peter123777 on 2 January 2022, 18:14, edited 1 time in total.
Peter123777
 
Posts: 47
+1s received: 8
Joined: 17 August 2021, 14:52
Country: Israel (il)

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Peter123777 » 2 January 2022, 18:06

Josh wrote:
Peter123777 wrote:Anyone bisexual here can share his/her experience being with both guys and girls?
Like, what was more satisfying for him/her physically/emotionally etc?
If you had to choose either guys or girls, what would you choose?
Did your sexual orientation fluctuate over the years? how so?


Hi, bisexual here...

Did your sexual orientation fluctuate over the years? How so?
Hell yes. I went from asexual in my early teens, to presuming I was gay in my late teens, to realising I was bi at 22. My asexuality was genuine, I had no sexual or romantic interests in that time. I think I was mistaken in concluding I was gay, and have been comfortably bi ever since realising I was. In effect I'm more honestly pansexual, but bi works just as well with the experiences I've had with people.


Very interesting, I had a pretty similar experience, I thought I was straight, than realized I’m attracted to guys and thought I was gay and then, later on in my early twenties, I’ve realized I’m attracted to both sexes. Did you watch gay and straight porn as a teenager? Did you have both crushes on girls and guys in middle and high school? Do you consider yourself more masculine or feminine in your personality?


If you had to choose either guys or girls, what would you choose?
I wouldn't. Because my sexual identity isn't a choice, and neither are my sexual or romantic preferences. If someone told me I had to be something I wasn't, I'd choose defiance or death.


Yeah, completely understood. Everyone of us is unique.

Peter123777 wrote:
Josh wrote:What was more satisfying for him/her physically/emotionally?
I honestly think guys are more emotionally complex than girls typically - and this is due to transparency. Guys have layers of emotion wrapped in all sorts of gendered and social expectations which creates more layers to work through as well. Guys often don't understand their own emotions, let alone having someone else try to understand them. Girls are typically more assertive of their emotions as they are, and this makes them more capable at understanding, handling, and expressing them. There is of course no one size fits all rule though. Some straight girls hate bi guys who tend to be more emotionally engaged than straight guys would be, because they associate that emotion with effeminacy. Other girls love it and it can be the most rewarding of emotional relationships - when a girl is capable of lifting up a guy who can admit his emotions, that's satisfying. At the same time, it can be satisfying when two guys are able to openly do that too - it's just harder to come by.

Physically, there is obviously something to be said for being with someone of the same sex. They most likely know what works best sexually, because they have the same as you do physically. That, along with a tendency for more adventurous physicality between same-sex partners, gives such pairings/groups a bit of an edge on opposite-sex. But both can be brilliant and it again depends on the person rather than a one-size-fits-all rule. Especially when you're bi and you're capable of physical attraction to a very varied range of people.


Quite interesting. For sure guys are more difficult in terms of communicating their emotions etc. As you’ve said both types of relationships can be satisfying, we need to make it work by communicating, meeting each other needs, compromising when necessary, etc. Still, suppose a girl you’re in relationship with, is open minded and love sex etc, do you enjoy more being with a girl or with a guy?


Josh wrote:
poolerboy0077 wrote:Would you say you tend to prefer sexual submission or sexual dominance? Asking for science.
In line with bisexuality, we'll settle on both :lol:

Life is more fun when you can both dom and sub. That being said, being dom doesn't run the same risks - like getting stopped and searched at Heathrow Airport customs with a whole suitcase full of the most bottom-bitch ass gimp gear and having it paraded about whilst you explain to the nice woman what a humbler is - so make of that what you will for your studies.


Haha… You’re enjoying all worlds. Interesting how diverse a person can be – both mentally and in his sexual orientations.

poolerboy0077 wrote:Would you say your attraction is 50/50 for guys and girls? Is that the most common attraction bisexuals feel or is it more the case that a bisexual tends to lean more toward one than the other?
I don't know many bi people that don't admit to some kind of lean, one way or another. I find usually a lean tends to favour the same sex or gender, depressingly because it's easier to make moves with someone whose also definitely a minority like you are, rather than running the risk of hetero hate. I can relate to this... I've been with more guys than girls as it's far less intimidating, especially if you already deal with low confidence or self-esteem.

In terms of raw attraction though, I'm likely a 60/40, favouring guys. As well as the convenience of guys, my taste in girls is far more restricting. I tend to be attracted to slightly older women, and that doesn't yield many results when you're telling her with your ten-year old elf-face that you like dick as well.


I can relate to how it’s less intimidating with guys than girls, especially if you already deal with low confidence or self-esteem. Did you told the girls you’ve dated with that you’re bi or you’ve hide it? If you did, how they have reacted? Did you told the guys you’ve dated with that you’re bi? (And how they’ve reacted?)
Do you have a guess why you’re more attracted to older women? Like is it more physically or more emotionally or both?

I’m not sure how I would “split” my attraction to guys/girls. I think it have changed a bit over the years, now leaning more toward girls. Definitely sexual orientation is more fluid and flexible than most people believe it to be.
Peter123777
 
Posts: 47
+1s received: 8
Joined: 17 August 2021, 14:52
Country: Israel (il)

Re: For The Bisexuals Out There

Unread postby Chetty » 21 January 2022, 17:44

I identify as bi but I don’t really find guys attractive. My desire is purely sexual as in I’ve dreamt of having another experience like I did 10 years ago only this time I’m way less shy and know what I want. Other than that, for relationship purposes I only want to date women and I love having sex with women.

Anyone else feel like this ?
Chetty
 
Posts: 10
+1s received: 1
Joined: 20 January 2022, 23:08
Country: Canada (ca)

Previous

Recently active
Users browsing this forum: CommonCrawl [Bot], Mojeek [Bot] and 26 guests