Gay Relationship Boundaries

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Gay Relationship Boundaries

Unread postby Sanantonio1 » 17 November 2021, 18:20

This is a pretty open post to be fair. I've gotten into what feels like it could be a long term relationship with someone I have known a while. Not my first long term relationship so I'm fairly comfortable with what I feel comfortable with but so much as changed from my first to my current and I was hoping to get some honest views on particular scenarios from a gay perspective... everything via Google for example kind of targets straight or bi curious.

How do you feel about partners liking single gay guys pics, specifically those where the pics are top less or thirsty? I'm also not talking celebs, or friends, specifically the random guys that tend to add every gay guy in sight.

Secondly, what are your thoughts if your partner sent out dick pics to random single guys online despite being in a relationship with you? Would this be crossing boundaries?

For me personally I'm fairly comfortable in my OH liking posts and pics from friends he has acquired on socials, and I trust his intentions so trust he does this to be friendly or because he appreciates the content without acting on it - just keen to gauge the forums thoughts openly?

On the second point this is personally a no-no for me and a deal breaker if monogamous, just curious to see whether others would agree?
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Re: Gay Relationship Boundaries

Unread postby pozzie » 18 November 2021, 01:16

Welcome to the Forum!

I've been single for a few decades and swore off social media years ago, but I think I get what you're asking.

When it comes to a relationship, honestly, it depends what boundaries the people in the relationship set. Yeah, I know that there are certain societal expectations attached to things like marriage, but there is absolutely no reason a married couple even have to live on the same continent. It's their contract, their relationship: they set the boundaries.

So I'd suggest you need to be clearer with you partner about boundaries, expectations, limits, etc. You just can't assume. A guy raised in a religious household will probably think monogamy is the norm while someone raised in a polyamorous commune might think just the opposite. If those two got together, they'd have to figure out their norm.

I've been in open and exclusive relationships in the past. Things were happening online, but it was on things like AOL, IRC, Gay.com, and Craigslist. So it was a bit different.

I know people like lots of stuff on social media and forgive me for putting it this way, but I've met FB friend whores who feel the need to friend everyone they meet. That doesn't imply infidelity to me.

The dickpix sharing is a slightly different thing that I don't really understand and refuse to participate in at this stage of my life. It's a social phenomena and some people think it's pretty 'normal.' But I've also seen evidence that some people are really socially inept, especially online, and aren't really respectful. Not necessarily related, but some guys might be collecting dickpix for fap fodder and thus it's not a sign of real sexual let alone emotional interest. It's just a picture of some guy's dick.

So figuring out what your partner is about is probably more important than deciding if dickpix trading is "wrong." If, after understanding what he's doing and why he's doing it, you still feel uncomfortable, then you two either need to renegotiate your relationship's boundaries or you need to consider rethinking your reaction to his activities.

Those are my two cents. ;)
— formerly pozboro
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